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He urinates in the bed with me in it. I must wash pajamas, shorts everyday and the bathroom must be mopped daily. He urinates in the bed with me in it, but right now I have no other place to make his own room, so I am stuck with this ungodly smell and washing every day. He forgets and leaves the depends in every room he goes to. It is just hard to deal with. His dementia is worst and he does not remember too much but about money and something to eat!!!!!!!!!!! Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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First..you need 2 beds.
Second you need Waterproof mattress pads
If you are doubling up on the incontinence brief you may be defeating the purpose. They are lined to be "leak proof" or at least not soak through. If you are not removing the water resistant lining and just using another brief the fluid is not getting from the first one to the second one.
You are going to have to monitor him more in the bathroom. Take him to the bathroom every 2 hours, if he goes great if not make sure you check the brief to be sure it is still dry.
If you do not have help it might be time to get a caregiver in to give you a break and help you out with some of the daily chores. And when you do get a caregiver in you should leave so you get the break you need.
There will come a time when you may want to consider placing him in Memory Care. Everyone's goal is to keep their loved one at home but if it is a matter of safety placement in necessary. And when I mean safety it is not just his safety it is yours. If you can not mentally, physically and emotionally keep up it might be time. It is not giving up it is getting your loved one the best care you can.
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You poor thing.

Agree with grandma to get two beds so at least your bed will be clean and dry.

Cut his liquids after a certain time, like 6 PM to maybe hopefully cut down on the volume of pee at night. Can you get him up in the middle of the night to pee?

Is he undressing and taking his depends off wherever he happens to be? Difficult. You or an aide need to bring him to the bathroom regularly for him to pee so there isn't so much trouble with his depends.

This must be VERY hard to deal with. Get some help dealing with this. One person can only do so much. You need to take care of yourself and your sanity as well.

And yes, there is no doubt that dementia is the WORST.
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Nursing home/MC time
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I agree with MichaelEzekiel.  My husband started not knowing when he had a bowel movement in his depends and did not want to change.  He became angry.  I decided at that time it was time for Memory Care/NH because I could no longer care for him as thorough as he needed.  For him and my mental care, I felt it was time and moved him into a Nursing home memory care facility.  Best of luck and may God guide you to do what is best for you and him.
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Sounds as if he needs to be in Memory Care or a NH - just say'in.... Is it too much for you yet?
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I had to wash my husband's pj's and waterproof pads every single day because he overflowed in his Depends(and that's with a kotex like pad in it too) every night, even though he also got up every hour to use the bathroom. (and that's with trying 3 different medications that were supposed to help with not having to pee so much). That of course meant that I didn't get any sleep, and I don't function well on no sleep, so I called his urologist and he first recommended having him try putting botox into his bladder, as that sometimes can help with the frequency of having to pee. Well, that didn't help my husband, so his Dr recommended having a supra pubic catheter put in(which is a permanent catheter), which we did, and boy what a Godsend that has been. No more accidents. All I have to do is empty his catheter bag twice a day.
My husband has vascular dementia, and incontinence is one of many of the symptoms of it.
And if you're not ready to go that drastic, a hospital bed for him might be a good solution as their mattresses are already waterproof. Good Luck.
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First stop using Depends brand. I used to use them on my mom and they didn't work. Now I use Tena overnight diapers for my mom with dimentia. They are awesome. The trick is 2 overnight diapers, and place an overnight pad in the one closest to the body. No leakage most times or very minimal. During the day, one Overnight Tena diaper with an overnight pad or a maximum absorbancy pad. Stay on top of the conditions down there...don't leave it to her to change it when needed.
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