I can only take a few steps. In bed most of the day, have use of a bed side commode. My son brings me breakfast & food before going to work for lunch & dinner. I have snacks by my "hospital" bed in my bedroom. I've promised both my sons that I would only step to commode & bed. I do exercises next to & on bed. Right now if on the floor my legs do not have strength to help me get up even holding onto something strong. I do not want to break anything else. I have just never been in this situation before. When I had my right hip replaced in March 2016 it was great. I went back to work for UBER then GrubHub, did my shopping, etc. Now I use Instacart & Walmart shoppers with deliveries when my son is home.
I am very frustrated with all this as I lay here looking at what needs to be done but both my son & I are dealing. We rent but I know he is getting tired of throwing money out the window & each year the management company is raising the price. The other thing is I know without him saying so very tired of caring for me. My other son is married, her father lives with then but has been asked about moving me there & caring for me in Benicia, CA.
I'm searching for long term care for myself. Currently I am recovering from a left hip replacement & when I returned home fell 1/22/24 fractured my left Fibula & Tibia; just getting to rehab & 5/7/24 fractured top of Fibula & lower Femer. I've been dealing with all this since 10/3/2022. My son helps me but thinks I should look for Long Term Care but it appears I am too old or my injuries are getting the better of me.
OP, look up sub acute rehabs and ltc that take Medicaid. You will quickly sense which places are better. Often they do both. You might in fact be safer in such a place where you aren’t chancing a fall every you use the commode while your son is at work. You will be on site with actual rehab specialists tasked with designing programs that might get you to a greater degree of adl functionality.
Pam, Kudos to you for recognizing your son is “so very tired.” We refer to this as burnout. Do not minimize what he is doing as any sort of part time, it isn’t, or non emotionally fraught, it is.
What is mentioned is difficultly with the "forms" and I think it's an assumption to decide what forms she is speaking of.
As to A Place for Mom, yes, they are a business.
They make their money by getting a fee from the places they have vetted and represent.
They gather information about your financial status.
I kind of got so tired of those questions being first on ANYONE'S list when my brother got Lewy's that I took to describing him as "a million dollars on the hoof". If you are a farm girl you will understand what this means.
Nevertheless, this is a service for those who can afford it/can avail themselves of it because they have been lucky or diligent in a lifetime of saving.
And all of America runs on the for profit model for the most part.
It's a real sad fact of life, but it is a fact of life that a business thrives when they can make money, that ALFs and MCs want to cherry pick, that Hospice has descended into a "take-the-money-and-run (literally) model. But it is a fact of life.
Read your profile. I have to agree with you that you would benefit greatly by having full time care.
It’s great that your sons love you and are concerned. Your son here has to work and can only help out so much. Your other son lives further away and has his father in law living with him.
So, going into a facility makes the most sense. Don’t you agree? They will visit and will oversee your care.
Since you aren’t exactly mobile, you aren’t able to tour facilities yourself. Ask your son or someone else to help you with selecting a suitable place for you to live.
Wishing you and your family all the best. Please stay in touch with the forum and let us know how you are doing.
Take care.
Sending you hugs.
"I'm searching for long term care for myself. Currently I am recovering from a left hip replacement & when I returned home fell 1/22/24 fractured my left Fibula & Tibia; just getting to rehab & 5/7/24 fractured top of Fibula & lower Femer. I've been dealing with all this since 10/3/2022. My son helps me but thinks I should look for Long Term Care but it appears I am too old or my injuries are getting the better of me. "
Pam, if you are ready to consider going into long term placement then consider a good ALF. Right now you are up against it with two serious injuries, so this isn't the time this instant to look, but you should hire in, using Visiting Angels or Care.com or any other site you can find to give you some care while you recover.
Then consider getting your assets together so you can give a good ballpark figure as to what your needs are, and contact A Place For Mom or any other company helping you seek best placement in ALF or other places.
I know your son can help you with the forms, or simple tell the agencies that the forms are too long and daunting and you require some help with them.
The other option, if some is willing, is to take you to Board and Care, ALF and other places giving senior care where you an discuss in PERSON what your needs are and what they can provide at what price.
l wish you the best. At a time when you are recovering from hip and other broken bones you cannot immediately address this. But the time will come.
I have heard too many people say that they should have gone to view a place in person before signing up to live there.