I have spent lots of time visiting my Alzheimer's parent, first at a hospital, then now at a permanent care facility. I am not sure what to do to take up time during these times. There is not many things my parent is capable of doing. They can't engage in any type of game of any sort. They can't really talk, the words are all jumbled up.
So the things I have been doing is showing them photo albums of people, talking to them, mostly a one sided conversation with me talking, and I think maybe they understand half of what I am saying, and take them for a walk to the nice gardens to sit outside. But I feel like both of us get very bored.
I am looking for ideas as to what sort of things I could do or take with me?
My daughter crocheted a "Twiddle Muff" for Mom. The director liked them so much, she ordered 4more. You can find them on the internet. There are blankets too.
1. If you have any of your parent's family heirlooms, and know their history, take one on each visit and discuss it with your parent. It is a variation on heritage photographs, it adds a different dimension where the patient can touch and feel the item. And it can trigger memories and thus conversation. Even if there is no conversation it can be a ''safe'' mental space to dwell on the past and the history of those relics.
2. Work on ''fiddle'' box ideas, does not matter the gender of the patient. Think of all the interests your parent had over the years and assemble items appropriate to those interests. For instance, our mother as a keen but practical sewer all her life. She can no longer handle needle and thread, or even knit or crochet, however she is intrigued by a box of fabrics of differenttexure and colour, laces braids and appliques, tape measure, blunt end scissors, cottons on old reels etc.
3. Think of something practical to do. Dementia patients want to do something meaningful. In the post-war years when everyone was very poor they recycled old knitted items. So we sometimes find a woollen garment, help her unpull it, put it into skeins, wash out the crinkles, then help her wind the wool into balls. It is surprising our lucid she can become while she is concentrating on the winding and unpulling processes. On occasions the conversation flows back and forth so easily.
4. During her early nursing career bandages were washed and re-used. Nurses spent their time winding the bandages around a pencil. Variations on human bandages are horse floating bandages (she used to roll then for my horse-mad sister), and interesting broad ribbons from gift wrapping. They tell a story of the event, they are varied in texture, widths, lengths, colours and events.
5. We are currently gathering a collection of old jewellery that has no commercial value whatsoever. (Makes it less likely to ''disappear''.) Single earrings, club and organisation badges, travel tokens, old jewellery bags, ring cases, necklaces with broken clasps, non-operational old watches, coloured stones, even little trinkets from an old doll's house. We have a broken old jewellery case, mother will enjoy touching and organising this little treasure trove.
I also play YouTube videos of the music that he used to like. A funny story: A year or half ago or so we were watching a Bruce Springsteen video and one of the guys in Bruce's band played a great saxophone solo. I said, "Wasn't that sax great?" Hubby said, "Yeah. I like sex." My reply, "I like sex, too."
My husband can still walk (he just turned 64), so in good weather we walk outside. Until at least mid-April or early May (and even then with a jacket), we walk inside. It's so important for the ones that are still ambulatory to be walking. Even with the people with walkers might enjoy walking a little and the people who use wheelchairs might want to look out windows where they can see some of the outside world if they live in a climate where winter will have a hold on us for a while longer!
I've brought my computer along with headphones so I can let my very hard-of-hearing mother listen to YouTube. She seemed to enjoy this, and I liked that she could watch it, too. I plan to do this again soon so I can play some videos demonstrating unusual musical instruments, a cute K-pop video and a couple pretty Chinese songs.
Other times I try to play "show and tell" by bring in such things as old or foreign coins, pictures, etc.
I would make sure and get a good case if you do an ipod, they are heavy enough to break when dropped and they are slickery.
I played catch with a stuffed animal with my granny. We also gave her a life sized baby doll and brought it little outfits from the thrift store. She couldn't understand much but she knew enough to love and hold that baby. She enjoyed the little outfits and caring for her baby. Maybe one of the therapy animals that are life like.
Hand massage is a great way to communicate without words.
Edit: combing his hair, manicure his nails all while telling him whatever you have been up to.
Maybe bring in a load of towels or washcloths and have him help fold them.
You can read outloud or play an audio book.
Really anything that you can get them to participate in is a good thing. Even if it feels juvenile to you, their new reality is so far from who they were. Nothing should embarrass you when you are showing them love. That is what they can feel.
Sometimes just being with them in silence is a good thing.
Try taking someone with you, that way the two of you can chat and your parent can participate or not.
Go when there are scheduled activities or entertainment, you don't have to do anything more than sit together.
Share a meal with them.
Sometimes being together is enough so you could just read or watch TV or a video, if there is internet available you can find all kinds of funny animal videos or old time music and shows on YouTube.
Getting outside is something that almost never happens for people with dementia because they need one on one supervision, so that was always enjoyed.
Being spoon fed is less embarrassing than making a mess because you don't have the ability to feed yourself.
Best of luck!