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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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I suggest you read this 33 page booklet (which is a free download) which has THE best information ever about managing dementia and what to expect with an elder who's been diagnosed with it.
Understanding the Dementia Experience, by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580
Jennifer is a nurse who worked for many years as an educator and counsellor for people with dementia and their families, as well as others in caring roles. She addresses the emotional and grief issues in the contexts in which they arise for families living with dementia.
The full copy of her book is available here: https://www.amazon.com/Thoughtful-Dementia-Care-Understanding-Experience/dp/B09WN439CC/ref=sr_1_2?crid=2E7WWE9X5UFXR&keywords=jennifer+ghent+fuller+books&qid=1657468364&sprefix=jennifer+ghent%2Caps%2C631&sr=8-2
She also has published a workbook entitled, “It Isn’t Common Sense: Interacting with People Who Have Memory Loss Due to Dementia.” https://www.amazon.com/Isnt-Common-Sense-Interacting-Dementia/dp/1481995995/ref=sr_1_4?crid=2E7WWE9X5UFXR&keywords=jennifer+ghent+fuller+books&qid=1657468655&sprefix=jennifer+ghent%2Caps%2C631&sr=8-4
From her book/booklet, Jennifer discusses Driving and says:
The issue of driving is extremely difficult. Sometimes during testing, a physician will find that the person's spatial skills are such that they need to cease driving immediately. Other times, the family may want to curtail the person from driving because when they sit in the passenger seat while the person with dementia is doing the driving, they find their driving unsafe. One method of gradually ceasing the driving has been found to work well. A lady asked her husband once a week or so if it could be her turn to drive (her license renewal was coming up). She gradually increased the frequency of asking for her turn until she was doing the driving 80% of the time. Then she started to automatically head for the driver's side of the car whenever they walked toward the car, without saying anything. After about six to eight weeks, her husband always went to the passenger side and never again expected to be the driver. This non-confrontational approach is positive, but not always possible.
Learn all you can about your husband's condition, that's the best thing you can do. Pick up a copy of The 36 Hour Day which is an excellent reference book and will answer many questions you have.
Watch Teepa Snow videos on YouTube; she is a dementia expert who has many tips and tricks designed to help you manage an elder suffering with dementia and exhibiting angst/agitation and refusal to bathe, etc.
An excellent book to read is Living in the Labyrinth: A Personal Journey Through the Maze of Alzheimer's which is a biography.
The process of getting his actual license revoked is different by state. In FL you can anonymously report someone to the DMV online (and give supporting evidence as to why the are a danger on the road). The DMV then sent a snail mail letter to my LO to come in for a retest. I instructed all possible family, friends, neighbors and acquaintances to NOT take her to that retest. Her license expired and that was it. But some seniors don't let it go very lightly.
Some have had to do more than hide the keys. Some people have to disable or remove the car to an undisclosed location.
While transitioning out of driving, it's helpful to ramp up rides from family, friends neighbors and church associates. This way your LO doesn't feel deprived or stuck, and also enjoys the extra company. You may not be able to maintain the extra drivers for long, but it can get your LO over the hump of a sudden change.
If your talking about your husband who has a Dementia, I think his Doctor should report him to the DMV. In my state, a letter is sent out from the DMV requesting your license be sent to them at the State Capitol. (It took 3 months though) The doctor should be the one to sit in front of him, eye to eye and say "You can not drive anymore.
You'll be told to hide the keys and disable the car. If you share a car, that will be hard, but if he has his own store it off your property. Out of site out of mind. Make up a fib when he asks where it is "I took it in for an oil change" Have someone pick it up and "say its going out for service."
My GFs Father had ALZ. Every night he would put his keys and wallet in his pants pocket, fold the pants, and put them over a chair. Her parents were in their 80s and because of his wandering the house in the middle of the night, Mrs S slept in a different room. One morning he comes into her room and says he can't find his pants. She looked everywhere, dirty clothes hamper, under the end, under the covers, in the stove, the cabinets, drawers, everywhere. She told him without his keys and license he could not drive and he didn't. A women at Church told her to look under the mattress. Mrs S said she did. Woman said, lift it up. Mrs S did, and there were his pants. By this time Mr. S had excepted his keys and license were gone. So Mrs. S just hid his wallet and keys.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Understanding the Dementia Experience, by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580
Jennifer is a nurse who worked for many years as an educator and counsellor for people with dementia and their families, as well as others in caring roles. She addresses the emotional and grief issues in the contexts in which they arise for families living with dementia.
The full copy of her book is available here:
https://www.amazon.com/Thoughtful-Dementia-Care-Understanding-Experience/dp/B09WN439CC/ref=sr_1_2?crid=2E7WWE9X5UFXR&keywords=jennifer+ghent+fuller+books&qid=1657468364&sprefix=jennifer+ghent%2Caps%2C631&sr=8-2
She also has published a workbook entitled, “It Isn’t Common Sense: Interacting with People Who Have Memory Loss Due to Dementia.”
https://www.amazon.com/Isnt-Common-Sense-Interacting-Dementia/dp/1481995995/ref=sr_1_4?crid=2E7WWE9X5UFXR&keywords=jennifer+ghent+fuller+books&qid=1657468655&sprefix=jennifer+ghent%2Caps%2C631&sr=8-4
From her book/booklet, Jennifer discusses Driving and says:
The issue of driving is extremely difficult. Sometimes during testing, a physician will find that the person's spatial skills are such that they need to cease driving immediately. Other times, the family may want to curtail the person from driving because when they sit in the passenger seat while the person with dementia is doing the driving, they find their driving unsafe. One method of gradually ceasing the driving has been found to work well. A lady asked her husband once a week or so if it could be her turn to drive (her license renewal was coming up). She gradually increased the frequency of asking for her turn until she was doing the driving 80% of the time. Then she started to automatically head for the driver's side of the car whenever they walked toward the car, without saying anything. After about six to eight weeks, her husband always went to the passenger side and never again expected to be the driver. This non-confrontational approach is positive, but not always possible.
Learn all you can about your husband's condition, that's the best thing you can do. Pick up a copy of The 36 Hour Day which is an excellent reference book and will answer many questions you have.
https://www.amazon.com/36-Hour-Day-Alzheimer-Disease-Dementias/dp/B0B4KJ5VH2/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2RK0ELGNBYT9M&keywords=the+36+hour+day&qid=1659465544&s=books&sprefix=the+36+hour+day%2Cstripbooks%2C118&sr=1-1
Watch Teepa Snow videos on YouTube; she is a dementia expert who has many tips and tricks designed to help you manage an elder suffering with dementia and exhibiting angst/agitation and refusal to bathe, etc.
An excellent book to read is Living in the Labyrinth: A Personal Journey Through the Maze of Alzheimer's which is a biography.
https://www.amazon.com/Living-Labyrinth-Personal-Journey-Alzheimers/dp/0385313187/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2WENPFX92ELND&keywords=living+in+the+labyrinth&qid=1659465466&s=books&sprefix=living+in+the+laby%2Cstripbooks%2C209&sr=1-1
Best of luck!
Some have had to do more than hide the keys. Some people have to disable or remove the car to an undisclosed location.
While transitioning out of driving, it's helpful to ramp up rides from family, friends neighbors and church associates. This way your LO doesn't feel deprived or stuck, and also enjoys the extra company. You may not be able to maintain the extra drivers for long, but it can get your LO over the hump of a sudden change.
You'll be told to hide the keys and disable the car. If you share a car, that will be hard, but if he has his own store it off your property. Out of site out of mind. Make up a fib when he asks where it is "I took it in for an oil change" Have someone pick it up and "say its going out for service."
My GFs Father had ALZ. Every night he would put his keys and wallet in his pants pocket, fold the pants, and put them over a chair. Her parents were in their 80s and because of his wandering the house in the middle of the night, Mrs S slept in a different room. One morning he comes into her room and says he can't find his pants. She looked everywhere, dirty clothes hamper, under the end, under the covers, in the stove, the cabinets, drawers, everywhere. She told him without his keys and license he could not drive and he didn't. A women at Church told her to look under the mattress. Mrs S said she did. Woman said, lift it up. Mrs S did, and there were his pants. By this time Mr. S had excepted his keys and license were gone. So Mrs. S just hid his wallet and keys.