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Mom is paralyzed on one side and having trouble "wiping" her backside on the toilet in our new home. There isn't enough clearance when reaching underneath and back to reach her bottom. I've been trying to research toilet seats to find out why some toilet seats are easier for her than other but can't find a solution as to what/why causes this dilemma. Any suggestions?

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There's actually a tool to assist with wiping -- Maddak Self-Wipe Bathroom Toilet Aid with Rotating Handle and Release Button.

It's available from CVS and other places, too, I'm sure.
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Install a bidet? I am going to redo our main bath and this is something I really want. There is the 'drying off' factor, but that's not huge, and yes, that handled Toilet aid works pretty well.

Just make sure your LO is not using an abundnace of TP and NOT flushing those 'flushable wipes'. They really aren't flushable!!
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susieq1216 May 2021
I've pondered a bidet, but I don't understand how they work and how they could possibly clean a person after a thick, voluminous BM without using TP! I just don't get it! Plus, how do these bidets stay clean from one person to another? I've viewed some YouTube video's but these sensitive concerns aren't addressed.
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My Dads Occupational Therapist recommended this and it has been a huge help for him. I found it on Amazon for $10.

Fanwer Toilet Aids Tools,Long... (amazon.com)
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A few suggestions: Try a seat that is open in front, she can sit closer to front and allow space in back. Also, check into portable bidets on Amazon. They cost 50.00 or less, easy to install. Read reviews first for best one. Most say less TP etc is needed. Is your toilet bowl round or oblong? Oblong may be better for her.. Also, I only use seats with Sta-tite bolts..much more secure etc for turning etc. Btw, Some seats on new toilets curve downwards on the inside, and makes it more difficult- my sister had one like that. Felt like I was sinking into toilet. Good luck!
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I used Provon Liquid Antibacterial Lotion Soap diluted in a large hand spray bottle and biodegradable toilet paper lightly coated with petroleum jelly (Vaseline)

before: quick wipe of area with a lightly Vaseline coated TP. Just enough Vaseline to create a non stick surface.

after BM: stand up, dry wipe excess, throughly spray & wipe area with TP or non flushable wipes, dispose of wipes, sit down for a quick rinse in the sitz pan to remove any residuals.
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My mom also lost the ability to wipe backside. Stand in front of her while she is seated on toilet. Have her lean forward until you have enough space to wipe her. This saved our back as we no longer had to lift her and try to wipe at the same time. We sometimes wore a disposable glove
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If you have a round seat change the toilet to an elongated bowl. I wold get one ADA height to make it easier on everyone if the one you have is "standard" height. But the elongated bowl/seat will make it easier.
You could also get a bidet toilet if you really want to "splurge" or they do have bidet seats that will aid in cleaning. You should have a power source nearby so that you can adjust the water temp otherwise it will be cold.
And oddly I did recently see a "tool" that enables you to wipe more easily. Think of it as like one of those grabbers that you put the toilet paper onto. Obviously it was angled differently. (OK..Googled it and there are many. Search for Toilet aids, long reach comfort wipe. the only problem that I see with it, and it might be a BIG problem its for Back to Front wiping and that might lead to UTI or other problems if fecal matter gets to the urethra.
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My patient is also paralyzed on one side. We have and use an Invacare Get-U-Up Lift for transfers. If you had one these lifts you could use it to seat your Mom on the toilet. Afterwards you could raise her from the seat and pull her away from the stool and help clean her (or even bathe her.) Also, you would not worry about her falling.
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Look online they make toilet wipers. It's usually a long handle with an end you put the toilet tissue on. It's like a reacher for wiping. Have you ever thought about getting a bidet? Let me know how it works out for you.
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Some toilets are taller for disabled individuals. I'm not sure if this is the case but they sell taller toilets. The standard ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act) height toilets must have a 17”-19” floor to bowl rim height, including the seat. Elongated toilets are best suited for disabled people instead of round ones.

I seen toilets sold even taller but they cost hundreds and must be special ordered.
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Bidet. I'm thinking of getting one myself.
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Thanks for all the input, as I personally struggle with hygiene issues. I wear disposables, as my back problems and diabetic nerve issues plus morning IBS that makes getting to a toilet on time a major issue.
I just lost my wife after a long, disabling process that had her bedridden. We had Hospice, thank God. I still was her 24/7 unpaid caregiver but the “paid” part didn’t matter. We lived month to month. That’s not going to change since she’s gone, as long as I can stay healthy anyway.
My right hand is numb. Swollen, and hurts most all the time. It’s been evaluated. I use to get effective painkillers but that ended with the war on opioids.
Aleve helps. Hot water soaks with massage helps. Braces do sometimes.
You don’t want to be wearing one when trying to clean your bottom.
I live alone with my cat in a nice apartment. I fix my own breakfast every day. So I can still manage that.
I often take my hot food into the bathroom as the IBS some mornings doesn’t leave me much choice.
I keep a plastic jug of Clorox & water close by in both bathrooms. Paper towels. Lined waste basket. Toilet bowl scrubbers. Etc.
A higher toilet would be nice. Can’t wait to ask the Super for them. ( Joke).
I run laundry every other day. Haven’t had any accidents on the bed or other furniture yet. I use a cane & wheelchair. I have a Medicare Advantage HMO with excellent prescription coverages. Lost most of my hearing now, so I don’t engage in conversations.
I am fortunate to have a daughter that looks after me, and a son who does likewise. Plus their very supportive spouses.
I’m going to look into that tool. Never knew such existed until today. Thanks.
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RitaDee May 2021
I could have written this myself...except I'm 68. And a girl. The yearlong pandemic has made things even worse for me. Showers and tubs are a slippery death trap in my opinion. No safety bars..just a slippery wall. I have resorted to sponge baths. Not that much better but what are you gonna do. I have one of the 4" seat lifts. The toilets they install these days are for preK classes I swear. I recently replaced the plastic seat lift and nobody had the oval shaped. So I had to buy round. That's a little problem for a girl. Anyhow I'm gonna try a bidet. At least get the dingleberries hosed off. Lol.
Good Luck.
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Google: bidet attachment for existing toilet❤️
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Portable bidets (around $35) on Amazon and easily installed. ( I have 2 LuxeBidet120 myself.) Once you have one you'll never regret it.
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I purchased, from Amazon, a great bidet attachment that I (79 year old woman) was able to connect in minutes. It connects to the sink faucet after you unscrew the faucet aerator. Screw on the bidet hose and then hang the holder for the hand held sprayer to the side of the toilet tank. You can still use the sink faucet as normal and can regulate the temperature of the water coming as well as the pressure, through the hose so your backside can be comfortable. It has been wonderful for me and the cost was around $50 as I recall. Wish I had it years ago, even after child birth it would have been a treat.
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If the bidet attachments don't work for your toilet, you can purchase "analog"-style squeeze bottles to help apply water to the peri-area. They market them for women who have just given birth, so you may find them that way,
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Perhaps a Bottom Buddy to help wipe yourself clean. Consider a toilet frame with handles to get up and down or a raised seat.
I know a company that specializes in these types of products. Please let me know if you need more information?
John
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There are raised toilet seats that can be attached to existing toilet. Elongated or oval bowls are better for wiping than round as people have said. If you can afford a new toilet with higher seat (and a bidet) it's worth it and you may need it yourself someday. The wiping aides have been around for many years (I learned about them when I was in training to be an occupational therapist almost 40 years ago). If your mom has hemiplegia she may not realize she is not wiping the involved side well. She may have absent or decreased sensation on her paralyzed side. She also could have some lack of awareness of that side of her body. Does she tend to keep things to only one side of her body like her plate when eating or does she tend to write more on right or left side of a piece of paper? Have you spoken to her doctor about this issue? Perhaps they would refer her for an occupational therapy evaluation and treatment (be sure her specific issues are addressed). If insurance covers it, this could possibly provide her with techniques and equipment to help her and you address all of her activities of daily living and improve her quality of life and independence.
Rosie, MS, OT
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I do not know the answer but I do know that occupational therapists know of many devices that can be used when bodily functions are limited (such as your mom). They can tell about devices I never knew existed and which can help and they can even order them for you.
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Buy a toilet seat like the old toilet or whichever toilet she was able to use.

Maybe install one of those French type badges sp?
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Imho, get a high profile, elongated toilet seat with a bidet attachment.
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Debstarr53 May 2021
A high profile toilet is a nightmare for a short person. When I go to my mom's, I hate to use her bathroom because my feet don't touch the floor all the way. Try getting yourself clean if your feet dangle.
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A bidet is the answer to your question. My bidet sits on top of the toilet seat. It plugs into a wall socket. It provides two types of wash - "front" and "back." It heats the seat. It heats the water. It even has an enema-type function. I cannot imagine life without it. Actually, I can, but I don't want to. Everyone in the household will want to use it. Who doesn't like a warm seat and a fresh wash?
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Evanie May 2021
I second that! The Japanese have perfected it with Toto (look up on youtube) to get an idea about how they work. They are ubiquitous there - wash, dry and no paper needed. There are portable ones sold at Costco.com, Amazon and many other vendors. Once you use them, it's hard to go back.
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Agree with others: bidet is helpful. Also putting a portable potty over the toilet to raise her up a little and it has arms on it to hang on to when trying to clean up. I found an arms only type toilet assist (looks just like potty chair frame, but no potty seat), but I had to order it from UK. Look online at various medical equipment in the UK - they seemed to have more things that we don't have from US medical supplies. Shipping wasn't any worse than buying in the US either.

Look at the toilet seats she has no trouble with. Are they elongated or round. Is toilet higher than the ones she has trouble with. Most pub toilets, like in drs office, are disabled/ADA toilets. Not really much taller than a regular toilet but that extra inch or two might be what she needs. Where are the toilets she has no problem using? Start there.
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Is she short? A high profile toilet is a nightmare for a short person. When I go to my mom's, I hate to use her bathroom because my feet don't touch the floor all the way. It's really hard to get yourself clean if your feet dangle.
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YES, I AGREE WITH OTHERS, SHE NEEDS A BIDET. I BELIEVE THERE IS ONE THAT CAN BE FITTED TO YOUR EXISTING TOILET. TRY CHECKING ON WAYS TO FIT ONE FOR YOUR MUM.
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