I managed to sell my sister's house and find her a comfortable independent living situation. Control of finances for a sister with declining abilities to manage her money. My 74 y.o. sister was a hoarder - I managed to sell her house and find her a comfortable independent living situation with her 43 y.o. daughter. The money is in a joint account with me. I also have POA. This money from the house sale was to be for her rent and living. She is spending the money frivolously and her kids are also taking advantage of this "windfall". The question is: can I transfer this money to an account in my name only so I can budget it for her? Her mental state is declining but she is still lucid. She is unwilling to get a medical assessment. This is her money but she simply doesn't understand that it's need for her rent, bills, etc.
I'm POA for my folks and take care of all the bills. Dad has dementia, thinks moms paying bills, mom knows I'm doing it and she's fine.
Dad has one charge card for the drug store and groceries but I might have to end that as he's beginning to give money to crap charities over the phone.
Sometimes you just have to do what has to be done. Chose your battles and take the path of least resistance. I get by with fibbing a little also.
Grace + Peace,
Bob
Remind her she will be broke and remind daughter or others who are getting money from mom - that in 2yrs, 3yrs whatever at rate she is going -- all assets will be gone and you are not going to bail her out. Discuss realistic care costs for in-home care X hours a week or if mom goes into residential care "$4000+/month. That should be a wake up call. Ask daughter "if mom runs out of money, are you still willing to house and care for her?" Remind mom, daughter that you and others will not be pitching in to make ends meet and a budget and conservative spending is expected and necessary for the sake of all involved.
Good luck. Doubt it will make a difference -- but at least you can feel better about having done due diligence. It can all go very quick at $4000/mo and once you go to NH -- that can escalate to $10K/month or more and drain estate completely.
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