Follow
Share

My aunt has early Alzheimer's. One person who is the second POA has taken it upon herself to control medical AND finances. The FIRST listed POA is just standing back and letting it happen. They are throwing gossip at each other and fighting over who is in charge, fighting over who drained my aunt's bank accounts. Whether or not my aunt is really competent or not. It's a mess. I don't know who to tell that this is going on. Or should I? I'm worried my aunt is being treated unfairly and bullied.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
Call a lawyer to file criminal charges against them as draining her bank account for personal reasons is a criminal charge. The lawyer should also be able to help you remove them from the positions that they hold. Any assistance that she may be getting from the state that you live in will be denied if there is not an accounting of her finances from the last 3 to 5 years depending on where you live. Go now as it will only get worse.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

So your aunt appointed someone to serve as her POA and then a second person who could serve if the first resigns his/her position OR she appointed two people to serve as her POA? In the first case, the person in the second position should not have any legal authority to act. In the second case it would depend on the wording of the POA (if they were listed as Person 1 and Person 2 OR Person 1 or Person 2). If your aunt is legally competent then the POA only has authority if she granted it to them.

Do you know which attorney drew up the POA documents? If so, you could contact that person. He or she would likely not be able to speak with you about the matter but could listen to your concerns and follow-up about them.

Speaking with an Elder Law attorney could be a good step. It sounds like all of the facts are not known so perhaps caution is appropriate as you address this issue.
Helpful Answer (7)
Report

jbclync -- Do you know where I can get more information on accounting of finances from the last 3 to 5 years? I am 85 and want to line up all the information my children may need if my situation changes. I got POA for my mother in 1980 in a different state. I want to gather all necessary information before consulting a lawyer. Thanks.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Roxibo, please read dcoach's answer. It's perfect.
Good luck with this.
Carol
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

arianne777, this is going to be a big task. You may want your children to help since you could need to go through all of your spending (I'm assuming that you are thinking that you may need to go on Medicaid which is good planning for nearly anyone - be prepared).

If you given large gifts to family or friends or even organizations or your church during that time, those should be looked at right away. I don't think your grocery bills will be an issue but I'm not a Medicaid expert. Likely, much will depend on what you've given away since technically that person could be required to pay it all back if five years haven't passed.

If you haven't given large financial gifts it may not be too big a deal but it's best to know your state Medicaid laws. I would suggest one meeting with an elder law attorney who knows your state laws. He or she could help you streamline the process and you'd know exactly what you need to do.
Take care,
Carol
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Two struggling POAs. What a surprise! Let them duke it out, and I don't know how you fit into this, but try to visit your aunt. Abuse comes in many forms and if you see bruising, not being fed, etc. call APS. Otherwise let them fight their battles. Remember, it was your aunt who gave them her POAs.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Roxibo:
I'm sorry your aunt is going through this and you are an unwilling spectator. For the rest of us it is a cautionary tale and a situation to avoid.
If your aunt has sufficient competency she can revoke the POA that is causing the conflict. However, a POA is sort of like an embarrassing photograph, even if the original is destroyed copies that cause trouble may still be around. Your state may have an Adult Protective Services unit that can be consulted if financial abuse is suspected.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Why on earth did your aunt appoint 2 POA's? Didn't she realize that they were going to have differing opinions on her care or was she already too ill with Alzheimer's?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Consult an attorney. A lesson here is to not put two people in charge. Also, it is not unheard of for a person to intentionally leave a mess for the family to suffer turmoil. It's called payback!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

My Moms health POA has my daughter as secondary if I'm not available.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

the only thing I would add to Dcoach's answer is to give adult protective services a heads up.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I am not sure why you are so concerned. You seem to be a busy body that collects information and maybe uses it to your advantage for some ungodly reason. You should mind your own business and stay out of it and let it rest in God's hands. Amen
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Dcoach the POA states SECOND if FIRST can not be reached. Thank you ALL for your answers. I was looking for info and got it. @concerned4mom im concerned because i love my aunt, but thanks for the jab, my question mustve hit a nerve.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This is why there should only be one POA/DPOA. Some people will say there should be one for this and one for that, but as you can see this is often the result. It puts a lot of responsibility on one person to be POA, the reason why it should be a responsible person. Giving POA to someone is not like splitting up the family belongings half and half, it needs to be the most responsible person you have to help you.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter