I'm so confused right now. People on here tell me my mom needs to be in a facility and I need to get her placed ASAP. The social worker from the local nursing home visited my mom in person and said she determined my mom had the cognitive ability to refuse care and care could not be forced on her at this time.
When my mom's money ran low (my dad passed away previously and required nursing care) I applied for help from Medicaid for her. She was evaluated and approved for 4.5 hours per week on the Pass Chore program. I was informed no home care agency was available. A friend gave me a different phone number to call, (Medicaid has dozens of different offices all over the state so finding the correct office is like looking for a needle in a haystack) this time I was referred to the area Agency on Aging and my mom was assigned a caseworker who evaluated her and approved her for 31 hours per week, but in the same breath she said I would need to stay with my mom 24/7 and be her unpaid primary caregiver.
The lady with the home care agency evaluated my mom and said she could only send someone over 2 times per week for 2 to 3 hours per day. She could give us up to 16 hours per week if she had the staff available but we would have to accept them when they are available, they can never cover the hours I need them.
I then had to go through a different office to get approved to be paid for the hours the home care agency couldn't cover. I have to be here 168 hours per week but get paid for maybe 20. My mom's caseworker said I could sleep at night, I just can't bill for time I'm sleeping, but I can't leave the house.
At the same time I had my mom evaluated for Hospice home care, but the Hospice Nurse said my mom was rejected because she didn't have a qualifying condition and she recommended placement in a nursing home.
My mom's caseworker put in an authorization for ATP (Assistive Technology Partnerships) to evaluate the house and make it more accessible. They were wanting to do $30,000 in renovations which to my best guess is the value of the house. I was able to stop the bathroom renovation because they were wanting to "temporarily" place my mom in a nursing home for a week, then after the renovation was complete, make me take her back home. I told them, she's 96, if we get her in the nursing home she needs to stay there. I have to let them go ahead with rebuilding the front porch and installing a vertical lift even though she is now mad about it and says she won't use it.
I've been against the project because they evaluated a 96 year old lady as needing these renovations to remain in her house when she clearly needs placement in a facility and she'll need to be on Medicaid from day 1 regardless of how much money Medicaid spends to make her house more "accessible". I just can't get her to go to the nursing home now because she is holding onto her house with a death grip.
She did give me DPOA back in 2008 without my knowledge then hid the papers in the safe until a few months ago. A lawyer told me the POA went into effect as soon as she signed it. Her doctor told me I was misinformed about her dementia. He said she was showing signs of age related dementia but he said he did not make any diagnosis. He referred her to a Neurologist several years ago, but she didn't go and never said anything. The only advantage to seeing a Neurologist now would be if the formal diagnosis would help her with placement.
Medicaid makes no sense jumping from 31 hours home care to the nursing home which my mom refuses to go to. I guess start leaving her alone for a few hours at a time and see what they do. I have a cousin who guesses they won't do anything. I know she's been reported to APS several times and they never have shown up. Just how am I supposed to place my mom in the nursing home using my POA when I'm told she has the cognitive ability to refuse care?
You need to work on first thing first. That will be evaluation and diagnosis, and staging and prognosis. Then the POA can be acted on.
I am sorry there are so many entities involved here, and understand your confusion.
Go right over her head to her supervisor. "I have to go back to work, because I am not able to make enough money getting paid by Medicaid taking care of my mother to make my ends meet. Your staff person has told me I am not allowed to leave my mother alone; and I'm telling you that I cannot survive on what I am earning. I will be starting work on (such and such a date). My mother will be left alone during that time. If you feel that she isn't able to be left alone, you and your agency MUST find a different solution, because I will no longer be available to take care of her for all but 15 hours a week."
There is NO WAY you can expect me to believe this is the first time they've dealt with this situation. No way. You are doing yourself a disservice waiting for permission that will never, ever come, because it is easier for everyone, mom included, if they throw roadblocks in your way. Easier for everyone except you.
Let me ask you this - IF you were to leave mom alone and go to work, and IF APS decided to press charges of neglect against you, IF you end up being persecuted and IF you go to jail, what will their care plan for mom be then? You might ask them THAT question the next time they make threats.