I take care of my mom with a little help once a month from my sister. My mom is physically violent. I get hit and or pushed when she's angry. I have POA but as long as she has any lucidity, I can't force her into a nursing facility according to a Elder attorney in my state. I'm getting tired of it. She hasn't been officially diagnosed as she refuses to go to the Dr and has stopped all of her heart meds. But she's displaying all the signs of Alzheimer's. I don't know how much longer I can deal with her.
Call 911 the next time she gets physically violent with you. Then tell the cops or EMTs that she's not herself and maybe has an untreated UTI (ERs and hospitals do not diagnose dementia because it isn't a medical emergency). Once there you can tell the staff she is abusing you and is an "unsafe discharge". Absolutely refuse to take her back home. They may move her to a psych wing to try to get her on meds for her aggression. Ask to talk to a social worker to see if there's an option to transition her into a facility. She should never go back home. She needs to be in a facility.
Maybe you can get your Mom to go to Urgent Care for a UTI test (peeing in a cup), but tell Mom that you are going there for yourself and would like her to come. Most Moms will say "yes" thinking they are helping their daughter. Usually an Urgent Care center can have the results as you wait. Antibiotics are prescribed.
2. Once Mom is in the ER you tell them she cannot return home. That she must have diagnosis and treatment. That you will not accept her into the home. You leave at that point.
3. You continue, when you are called by doctors and social workers to accept her as an unsafe and undiagnosed discharge. Tell them if she is returned to the home you will leave it and call APS.
This will get you a diagnosis.
If she is mentally ill nothing will be done and she will be returned home with medications she will refuse to take. If it is HER home you will have to leave. If it is YOUR home you will have to evict her, and if she is competent you should resign any POA. If she is incompetent you cannot, but you CAN place her.
The solution here depends upon who is dependent on who.
Are you living rent free in your mother's home and not working?
That complicates things in that you must move and get a job if she is diagnosed as competent but mentally ill.
Or is she taken already into your home without diagnosis? Then that was awful decision making and you have painted yourself in a corner requiring you to evict a mentally unstable (if diagnosed competent) woman to the outside world without a caregiver.
Give up your POA whether she is competent and can receive written resignation or INcompetent and requiring placement in my humble opinion, as that would mean lawyers and a whole lot of work. Let the state take her on.
You may want to, before the drastic measures of all the above, contact APS and have them come to assess things and open a case.
So sorry you are going through this. If she owns her own home , that can be sold to put her in an AL. If she is on Medicaid, you will have to wait till a fall or something, and tell them , there is no one available to take care of her anymore.
Why did she stop taking her meds? Some do you this because they know it's what's keeping them alive, and they are just done with this world.
You can go to your pharmacy and get strips to test for a UTI, at home.