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Actually, I was 17 and he said " If you walk out that door don't ever come back" and I replied " You got a deal"... It really doesn't matter what age you are, you just get up and go when it gets physical.
I quit sleeping on my mother's couch when around 1:00 a.m. one night I awoke with the light on and her standing over me staring at me like "Who are you and Why are you sleeping on my couch?" I live two hours away and don't always go home after our visit so mom's couch was just convenient. "Was" is the operative word. She so totally freaked me out that I swore I'd never stay on her couch again. I either sleep at the local Motel 6 or at a friend's house. It's just one day she might forget who I am and come at me with a weaponized rolling pin.
When they have dementia this is not uncommon for them to turn on a dime. Sometimes it is time for their meds or just the opposite the meds may have them in this state. But it is neither one of your faults when things like this happen, it is all part of the disease. They can be so happy go lucky one moment and two minutes later they are incoherent and full of rage. When this happens walk away for 10 minutes or so and try to re-enter the room, most times their anger has passed and they are co-operative again. If this continues to happen the I would talk with his Dr. and have his meds re-assessed as they may be working against him or they need to be changed up. Hang in there as it is difficult all you can do is try other approaches, a soft gentle voice can sometimes bring them around. Hope things get better for you.
Are you telling us Dad puts you to the ground accusing you of things? Or, are you asking if this could happen?
If it hasn't happened, it is possible. People with dementia can sometimes get physical, but it's hard to say. If it already has happened, then you need to think about this pretty seriously, because it will not be the end of it.
And, as for accusations, you'll probably hear more. As others have said, when someone has dementia, it is not uncommon for them to forget who you are. Sometimes, they think you're a friendly stranger; other times, a dangerous stranger. And it can switch pretty quickly, so you can be some friendly stranger they're having a nice time with, you leave the room, and when you return they think you're there to steal their money -- they've forgotten the last bit of time with you that quickly.
We have my mom living with us - she loves sleeping in the same room with us. We have not had this issue and I doubt we will - it is a matter of habit and familiarity. If she is accustomed to you being there it is different that if you are just dropping in for a night every now and then.
Yes, except mine seems to be glued to the t.v. standing up and doesn't move. If it is only a stare, ask him if he needs something. Stealing issues is a very common delusion with dementia. Just let it roll off your back and do the best you can.
Yes. Dementia can be the cause of this and their mind wanders elsewhere or loses track. My mom has drifted off on occasion where she stares off into space or stares right thru me and it is obvious she doesn't know who I am for a few minutes. She will accuse me of being a stranger or go off on me about stealing or gas lighting her, etc. It was scary and disconcerting but then I just let her be or bring her a drink and snack and she snaps out of it.
I too no longer sleep over at my moms because I'm afraid she will mistake me for an intruder and attack me. I stay at a nearby hotel and just tell her I have to use the internet for work.
She and I both rest better that way.
Only you can gauge if he didn't recognize who you were or was in an agitated state and was irrational with you for the moment. Just know that can be normal behavior with dementia and ALZ.
My mom tries to throw me out of my own house probably one night per month and has hollered both of us out of a dead sleep to do so (nothing makes me angrier). Very very difficult not to respond in anger but I'm getting better at it. I sure don't sleep as soundly since I moved her in with me. I just keep telling myself this period of time will not last forever, though sometimes it sure seems so. Some days, I still let go and tell her exactly how I feel and just don't care what she thinks. Took me 20 minutes this morning to find the basket for the coffee. Maddening, I hate her in my kitchen. Anyway, she forgets our harsh words (I guess, who knows) and we go on, but man, it can feel so ugly.
My inlaws live with us..my mil has been a quad since 1986..she has developed dementia over the last 2 years, and she can be quite sharp with her tongue now, but the thing that she does that has me hiding in my bedroom is staring..she follows my every move, and pulls her motorized wheel chair up to me and stares at me if I'm in the kitchen..I literally get the heebie jeebies when I hear the click-click of her wheelchair..
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
It's just one day she might forget who I am and come at me with a weaponized rolling pin.
If it hasn't happened, it is possible. People with dementia can sometimes get physical, but it's hard to say. If it already has happened, then you need to think about this pretty seriously, because it will not be the end of it.
And, as for accusations, you'll probably hear more. As others have said, when someone has dementia, it is not uncommon for them to forget who you are. Sometimes, they think you're a friendly stranger; other times, a dangerous stranger. And it can switch pretty quickly, so you can be some friendly stranger they're having a nice time with, you leave the room, and when you return they think you're there to steal their money -- they've forgotten the last bit of time with you that quickly.
thedevotedheart/what-everyone-ought-to-know-about-dementia-and-behavior/
I too no longer sleep over at my moms because I'm afraid she will mistake me for an intruder and attack me. I stay at a nearby hotel and just tell her I have to use the internet for work.
She and I both rest better that way.
Only you can gauge if he didn't recognize who you were or was in an agitated state and was irrational with you for the moment. Just know that can be normal behavior with dementia and ALZ.