Tying to stop my mom with Alzheimer's from wandering makes her aggressive. What am I supposed to do?

Wandering is a phase of deterioration. How long it will last varies from person to person, but it will not last. My Aunt went through it for over a year. What was really exhausting was when she could not sleep and was up all night going through her dresser drawers. Coping is a lot like when you had a little one in your home - a toddler that got into everything. It's just that the person is now older, but it's the same concept- you baby proof your home.
AND-- you make use of every opportunity for adult day care or similar programs that give you a break - try your local Area on Aging and /or Alzheimer's Organization / Sheltering Arms.
As for your home: Get a switch put into the gas line feed or the electricity to your stove so you can disable the stove completely anytime you are not using it your self, preferably out of sight and easy access by your Mom. Get dead bolt door locks, and take the keys out of them at night, and keep the keys on a chain around your neck, so when she is wandering at night she cannot get out of the house. That way if there is a fire , you do not have to look for the keys yourself in the crisis- they are right there around your neck. If all the deadbolts are keyed the same, you only need to wear one key. Then put up everything in the house that she can break, or drink and poison herself, etc.... Use child proof locks for your meds cabinets, knives, tools, sharp objects, glass, chemicals, kitchen cabinets with breakables, , etc.....and then just be willing to let her empty your drawers and use it as an opportunity to clean them out when you put them back. Some of the key to surviving this phase is just letting it be....just like when you made allowances for your toddler- and remember when they were fascinated by banging a pot with a spatula? If your Mom had a hobby that she used to love, you can give her some of the safe tools associated with that hobby, that she cannot hurt herself with, and a card table space that is hers, and let her "play" at doing it.....you might be surprised at what she can still do. My aunt was a CPA, and she would count and roll money for hours....she also loved to clip coupons and pictures she liked out of old magazines.....we made collages together with glue and construction paper and displayed them on the refrigerator! Helped my sanity tremendously when she stayed with me on weekends , and I think it helped hers too.... she felt like she was doing something useful. It wasn't always easy, but it was much more calming than following her around. She would get up and walk around at times , and wander a little , but a few calls and encouragement always brought her back to the table, because she was interested in it. Music playing in the background helped a lot too, to keep her focused...kinda like "white noise" does.
God Bless You for trying to help her anyway you can... it's a challenge and you are a special person to try to help her ...... but with her decreased faculties, she is still inside, and once in awhile you can get her to come out and play. Do not underestimate the need for exercise- long walks, etc., help her to sleep at night too. My Doctor also put my Aunt on Symmetrel for her agitation... believe it or not it helps......be sure you have a good neuro/geriatrician who is willing to talk about effective pharmacotherapeutic agents for you Mom that can also help her keep calmer , and a good day/night sleep pattern going.
Best of everything to you !!! I hope these suggestions are of help !!!!

Lovemom--Good question, and guess it can be very tiring on one. Is there a way to have you Mom get into Adulr Day Care=to give you some peace of mind? As for her wandering, you need to contact your neurologist on this for a professional opinion. In the meantime the following is what I have for you~
Wandering - One of the more dangerous behaviors among individuals with dementia, wandering may be goal-directed (e.g., the person thinks that he or she is going to a job or going "home" to a childhood residence) or non-goal-directed (i.e., the person wanders aimlessly). To reduce the frequency of wandering, make sure the person has plenty of supervised activity to channel his or her energy. Redirecting the person to another activity can also work. Interestingly, dementia sometimes affects perception in such a way that environmental approaches can help reduce wandering. For instance, a black square painted on the floor in front of a doorway - or simply a black doormat - may be perceived as a hole, which can prevent the person from leaving the home.
Thus you need to get to the bottom of this behavior-sooner rather than later. Another good resource/and suport form is your local chapter of the Alzheimer's Association-or call there hotline at (800) 272-3900.
Best to you with you caregiving~
Hap

Wandering is a phase of deterioration. How long it will last varies from person to person, but it will not last. My Aunt went through it for over a year. What was really exhausting was when she could not sleep and was up all night going through her dresser drawers. Coping is a lot like when you had a little one in your home - a toddler that got into everything. It's just that the person is now older, but it's the same concept- you baby proof your home.
AND-- you make use of every opportunity for adult day care or similar programs that give you a break - try your local Area on Aging and /or Alzheimer's Organization / Sheltering Arms.
As for your home: Get a switch put into the gas line feed or the electricity to your stove so you can disable the stove completely anytime you are not using it your self, preferably out of sight and easy access by your Mom. Get dead bolt door locks, and take the keys out of them at night, and keep the keys on a chain around your neck, so when she is wandering at night she cannot get out of the house. That way if there is a fire , you do not have to look for the keys yourself in the crisis- they are right there around your neck. If all the deadbolts are keyed the same, you only need to wear one key. Then put up everything in the house that she can break, or drink and poison herself, etc.... Use child proof locks for your meds cabinets, knives, tools, sharp objects, glass, chemicals, kitchen cabinets with breakables, , etc.....and then just be willing to let her empty your drawers and use it as an opportunity to clean them out when you put them back. Some of the key to surviving this phase is just letting it be....just like when you made allowances for your toddler- and remember when they were fascinated by banging a pot with a spatula? If your Mom had a hobby that she used to love, you can give her some of the safe tools associated with that hobby, that she cannot hurt herself with, and a card table space that is hers, and let her "play" at doing it.....you might be surprised at what she can still do. My aunt was a CPA, and she would count and roll money for hours....she also loved to clip coupons and pictures she liked out of old magazines.....we made collages together with glue and construction paper and displayed them on the refrigerator! Helped my sanity tremendously when she stayed with me on weekends , and I think it helped hers too.... she felt like she was doing something useful. It wasn't always easy, but it was much more calming than following her around. She would get up and walk around at times , and wander a little , but a few calls and encouragement always brought her back to the table, because she was interested in it. Music playing in the background helped a lot too, to keep her focused...kinda like "white noise" does.
God Bless You for trying to help her anyway you can... it's a challenge and you are a special person to try to help her ...... but with her decreased faculties, she is still inside, and once in awhile you can get her to come out and play. Do not underestimate the need for exercise- long walks, etc., help her to sleep at night too. My Doctor also put my Aunt on Symmetrel for her agitation... believe it or not it helps......be sure you have a good neuro/geriatrician who is willing to talk about effective pharmacotherapeutic agents for you Mom that can also help her keep calmer , and a good day/night sleep pattern going.
Best of everything to you !!! I hope these suggestions are of help !!!!

Mood swings are a 'side effect' of the drug. Please talk to her doctor about these changes. I am not a doctor, but I have found that drugs of this sort can sometimes make matters worse.

http://www.alz.org/alzheimers_disease_behavioral_symptoms_ad.asp

You can read more about these types of drugs on the website above, or do some research on your own.

Perhaps there are triggers in her environment that you can change. Your mother is wandering because she is unsettled and perhaps cannot express her concerns. Keep track of when she is wandering, and see if you can redirect her with another activity before this occurs. If she seems to wander more in the evening hours, this can be attributed to activities that she used to be responsible for: i.e. getting the kids from school, driving home from 'work', fixing dinner, cleaning the house, even personal care. If she is unable to do any of these things, she will 'wander' around, much like we do when we are on vacation visiting someone, living in their house but with little if any responsibilities!

i.e. While on vacation at my sisters house, I didn't have to worry about fixing dinner, shopping for groceries, even cleaning up after dinner, and after two weeks, "I" felt restless, etc. Imagine how our loved ones feel!

I found that my Mother felt better 'doing' something when she was her most restless! Even folding laundry, and sorting coins seemed to help. Of course all activities need to be monitored. I do hope this helps.

Luv you are a saint for doing all of this-but if the time comes you can no longer cope I hope you will be ready for the next step-you are a hero and I do hope you have support for yourself God bless you.

sorry-- I must have pushed the add answer button twice ! I apologize !!!

Lyrica, what you said deserves to be displayed TWICE!! Great information.

Lyrica,
A great post and full of great information that also helped me.
Thank you!

These are web sites are somewhat redundant but there is some good info....

http://www.alz.org/national/documents/topicsheet_wandering.pdf

http://www.alz.org/safetycenter/we_can_help_safety_wandering.asp

http://www.alz.org/living_with_alzheimers_wandering_behaviors.asp

Thank you ALL for the information and ideas. I do use daycare and she has escaped into the parking lot with them also. I deal with the wandering each night and all weekend sometimes, I bought push button keypads for my bedroom doors and chains on the tops of my entry doors. My mom was always one who never sat still. She was the best knitter in the world but cant remember a thing since her strokes last Fall. She was folding towels all the time, I bought 100 of them and brought them to daycare and she folded them over and over and loved it. Now, she cant do it. What a shame, as she thought she worked there and never wandered. The strokes causes half of her vision to go also and she cant even pretend to pay cards or color, tv, or anything. Its horrible. The only thing that keeps her busy is eating. I buy her colorful trix cereal, watermelon, cantelope, etc with bright colors and she will eat slowly for 2 hours or so. She loves to sing and dance, but her legs hurt so after 25' she is done walking and wil sit anyplace, like collapse. I wish she could do something other than eat, sing, and talk , but I cant get her to. Some weekends I have her wander all day, she is "going home!" and no matter what, I cant get it out of her head with any thing else. Sometimes we can get her to watch/listen to old lawrence welk shows we bought, or church shows we tape for her, but not always. This does end??? I am going to read the click-ons now and I want to thank you all. I would love any more medication ideas if any one has had luck. I will look up the one mentioned now also.
Hugs to all!
Luvmom