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We purchased an assistive hearing headphones for my mom to hear tv and not disturb aide, however, mom refuses to wear them. Can anyone recommend earplugs for aide which will drown out sound of tv yet allow aide to hear my mom calling her?
Try to get Mom on a healthy (for her) schedule. My guess is that Mom is dozing through the T.V. noise also. Use a second remote to keep turning it down, or off.
Your situation sounds a bit of priorities skewed, imo. What does the "aide" do, if your Mom is asleep all day? Who is watching Mom at night? Are you being taken advantage of?
Others will have a better answer for you...coming soon.
I would start by shaking things up. Send the T.V. out for service. You've got this.
Either aide needs to adjust her schedule, or better yet, mom needs to get back to a normal wake/sleep cycle. 2 methods
Slow change - get mom up 1 hour earlier every day and to bed 1 hour earlier every evening until she is on a more normal wake/sleep cycle. During this time, you have to keep her up during the day so she sleeps through the night,
Quick change - get mom up at the time desired and to bed at time desired. She needs to stay awake the entire day so she will sleep through the night. She will complain and not be happy since she will be tired. However, she will be adjusted in about 3 days.
If mom is awake the caregiver should be awake. What would happen if mom decided to leave the house rather than watch TV? With a bit of time and restructuring the day mom can get back on a more or less "normal" schedule. If this situation does not work out for the caregiver....time to look for another.
My DH does this--still works FT but has to have the TV on 24/7 turned to FoxNews which has to have the most annoying (to me) newscasters in the world. It's the same garbage all day long with different commercials. Since he has been WFH for the past 7 months, his weird schedules have driven me crazy--I literally was so stressed out and anxious I began to have heart problems!
Good sleep habits are basic to a more mentally healthy life. I left my bedroom and sleeping with my DH b/c he chose the TV over me.
I wear real high quality earplugs, and I somehow can still hear the doorbell or phone through them. The TV, not so much. I wouldn't suggest these for a CG, who needs to be 'on call' all the time. Unless she finds she CAN hear your mom. and not the TV.
How about bluetooth headphones for MOM with soft music (or even the TV) being piped in when she sleeps? This would not disturb the CG and maybe it would help your mom to have a better sleep cycle. Simply not allowing her the access to the TV from, say 10 pm to 6 am would help. You can program TV's to do anything these days.
Talk to her dr, there are much more effective nighttime sleep aids than melatonin, which I find so mild, it's almost pointless. My 90 yo mom takes 20 mg of that and also Trazadone--which she has taken for years. She sleeps like a rock--doesn't even shift positions in bed. I'd hate to 'knock' your mom out, but if she is sleeping at night, she'll stay awake better in the daytime. Many elders take catnaps during the day--I myself am a huge fan of an afternoon 'lie down' and find I can be better effective in my life when I respect my body's fatigue levels.
Lack of good sleep for your CG is going to result in the CG leaving your mom. You have to respect the CG's life and what she's doing. I find as I age I really, really need good sleep.
My mom loves her melatonin but naps far too long during the day. A short nap is fine but anything more is very disruptive to her night time sleep. She claims she sleeps but constantly is up going to the bathroom. Restricting fluids after dinner may help with sleep.
My Mom was a day sleeper and up all night. She wanted a sleep aid but Dr would not prescribe for two reasons. Would make Mom drowsy and a fall risk and the fact that she did not have a sleep problem. She WAS sleeping just at wrong time. It took about a week with lots of complaining but we got it reversed. Start getting Mom up 1 hour earlier than she usually gets up. This should make her tired earlier by maybe an hour. Next morning another hour earlier out of bed and that night another hour earlier to bed.....you get it. Good luck!
I agree your mom and aide should have the same schedule, but it sounds like maybe she was not aware it was the night shift! Perhaps since she is a live in, she could try to keep mom awake more during the day.. activities and projects,, waking her on a regular schedule? Perhaps saying 1 hour of TV once your in bed,, then its off and the remote goes to "sleep". Maybe a slight sleep aid for mom, like melatonin? Most of us are not cut out for night shift work.. and if you like the aide it would be a shame to lose her because she is sleepy and not herself during the day. Some TVs have timers?
Thank you for suggestions! We have tried to keep my 95 year old mom up during day with activities, physical therapy, etc. in an attempt to change her sleep schedule but it is not working. She is up all night and is exhausted during the day so she sleeps. We tried up to 10 mg of melatonin Per geriatric dr but it doesn’t work. Can you recommend a specific brand that may be effective? The aide will sleep when my mom sleeps.
I recall reading many years ago that one's biological clock can adjust about an hour each day, so it will be more realistic to allow a couple weeks for the change to take place. This was originally published to deal with jet lag, but in reality what is going on in the OP's posting is simply "jet lag" in the same time zone!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Try to get Mom on a healthy (for her) schedule. My guess is that Mom is dozing through the T.V. noise also. Use a second remote to keep turning it down, or off.
Your situation sounds a bit of priorities skewed, imo. What does the "aide" do, if your Mom is asleep all day? Who is watching Mom at night? Are you being taken advantage of?
Others will have a better answer for you...coming soon.
I would start by shaking things up. Send the T.V. out for service.
You've got this.
Slow change - get mom up 1 hour earlier every day and to bed 1 hour earlier every evening until she is on a more normal wake/sleep cycle. During this time, you have to keep her up during the day so she sleeps through the night,
Quick change - get mom up at the time desired and to bed at time desired. She needs to stay awake the entire day so she will sleep through the night. She will complain and not be happy since she will be tired. However, she will be adjusted in about 3 days.
What would happen if mom decided to leave the house rather than watch TV?
With a bit of time and restructuring the day mom can get back on a more or less "normal" schedule.
If this situation does not work out for the caregiver....time to look for another.
Good sleep habits are basic to a more mentally healthy life. I left my bedroom and sleeping with my DH b/c he chose the TV over me.
I wear real high quality earplugs, and I somehow can still hear the doorbell or phone through them. The TV, not so much. I wouldn't suggest these for a CG, who needs to be 'on call' all the time. Unless she finds she CAN hear your mom. and not the TV.
How about bluetooth headphones for MOM with soft music (or even the TV) being piped in when she sleeps? This would not disturb the CG and maybe it would help your mom to have a better sleep cycle. Simply not allowing her the access to the TV from, say 10 pm to 6 am would help. You can program TV's to do anything these days.
Talk to her dr, there are much more effective nighttime sleep aids than melatonin, which I find so mild, it's almost pointless. My 90 yo mom takes 20 mg of that and also Trazadone--which she has taken for years. She sleeps like a rock--doesn't even shift positions in bed. I'd hate to 'knock' your mom out, but if she is sleeping at night, she'll stay awake better in the daytime. Many elders take catnaps during the day--I myself am a huge fan of an afternoon 'lie down' and find I can be better effective in my life when I respect my body's fatigue levels.
Lack of good sleep for your CG is going to result in the CG leaving your mom. You have to respect the CG's life and what she's doing. I find as I age I really, really need good sleep.
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