Both my older brother and sister (all of us in our 80s) have been diagnosed with Alz and I can only think I will be next. I have no children or anyone to act as caretaker as they do, so am considering moving into assisted living while I am still in charge. Currently, I live alone in my own condo, but find I am having difficult keeping it and me clean and eating meals as I should. My memory is still working, but I am depressed with my siblings' situation and worry about what's coming next for me. What are the negatives I should look for before moving into assisted living, I wonder?
I applaud you for planning ahead.
I am sorry about your siblings. It is upsetting to see people we love declining.
Have you gone to have any cognitive testing done for yourself?
Maybe it would make you feel better if you went to see a neurologist for testing.
As far as assisted living goes, do your research and find a place that most suits your needs.
Best wishes to you. Keep us posted.
Also, he feels it's a little less private than he would like. Granted, if he doesn't want someone in his room (really more like a suite, it's very nice) he can just tell them no, and they will agree so long as it's not a medical emergency or something like that. But he's a pretty private person and it took some time to adjust to people knocking on his door and being in his space. Of course, they were doing that so they could clean it, do his laundry, make sure he was taking his medication, etc, all things he was not handling well at home — they aren't coming in just for random reasons. Again, once he adjusted to the schedule and let them know he was a night owl who liked to sleep later in the morning, it was fine. But really, it's those little things, the change of habits from home, that seemed to be the biggest frustrations.
Being depressed is not going to help your memory situation. I would get into some therapy and maybe meds to help get you back on your feet.
Take some preventative action.
Get more active - this can be done at any age. Increase your activity little by little until you get to a good level (there are suggestions for daily/weekly minimums online).
If you have diabetes - clean up your diet, going much further with sugar/carb reduction than any dietician will suggest.
Stimulate your brain - puzzles, word games, sudoko, etc
Socialize - get out with friends more and/or the senior center
Eat brain foods - avocado, beets, blueberries, salmon, eggs and walnuts to name a few.
Follow the mediterranean diet
Take vitamin D
Take good care of your oral health
OK, assisted living is great. My mom, with dementia, has been in one for a few months. There is definitely an adjustment period. Like with any group of people, there will be some you like more than others, and some that might outright annoy you. Just try to go with the flow and be polite to the annoying people. Don't let them get to you. Take advantage of all the activities they have - this is how you will make friends which will be the best way to enjoy your stay there.
Yes, as mentioned, meals are on their schedule. Well, that's a little annoying but you can adjust to it. My mom's breakfast is a couple hours earlier than when I served breakfast but if you try not to be too set in your ways, it won't take long to get used to it.
The biggest thing it probably to go in with a good attitude and be flexible. I think it is an excellent idea to get yourself settled before any significant issues arise. You will be able to get to know the routine and the people and staff while you're still in a good place.
Best of luck!
I would suggest that you look at a place that has "sister" communities in other areas. They may allow you to stay in another of the communities if you decide to travel.
Also look for a community that has continuing care.
If you need Memory Care you will not have to move..if you need rehab, often it is right there.
You are in a Condo now so you are sort of used to living in a community. It would be more difficult if you were in a single family home.
It is great that you are looking ahead and planning for your future "what if's" but please do not forget to live in the present, you never know what the future holds. If you think moving to an AL community will lessen your depression I think you are mistaken. You should talk to someone about your family situation and the ramifications.
My mom always ate breakfast in her own unit--she was never a morning person and wasn't about to change at age 90!
I like the idea of a week or month as a trial stay. Mom moved into one community where several family members were quite happy, but it wasn't at all the right fit for her. Interestingly, it was folks almost exclusively from HER ethnic/nationality group, but she had gotten used to a more diverse group of friends over the years, so was happier in a place that was more integrated.
My mother was always very interested in varieties of religious worship; one of her favorite things was going to each religious service, not just her own.
Independent Living is usually a 1 or 2 bedroom apartment, large living room, full size kitchen. The facility my Dad was in, had as part of the monthly rent, weekly housekeeping and linen service. There was a restaurant style dining room with menu. Dad loved being around people closer to his own age. Plus around the clock RN's.
This senior facility also offered Assisted Living for those who qualified, and Memory Care. After a time, the Staff recommended my Dad would do better if he moved over to Memory Care as he was found wandering and trying to leave the building late at night. The apartment in Memory Care was much smaller, Dad use to joke about his "college dorm room".
I would ask Dad every now and then what would he change about where he was living. And his answer was "nothing". Dad even said he wished he would have moved to that facility sooner, but he didn't know they even existed.
Then she had a slight stroke and was scared to stay alone at night, she kept calling the EMT's and they were starting to bill her $600 each time she called as there was nothing wrong with her.
My brother & I swooped in, brought her to Florida and I found a nice AL for her.
Well, now she says "I wish I had done this 10 years ago"! I love it, met new friends, don't have to keep a house up and have lots of activities.
She has a nice apartment with a small kitchen, the place has beautiful grounds so she can sit outside and enjoy the sun.
Go figure, she will be 98 next week and has been there for almost 3 years.
Alz does tend to be hereditary. It effects the brain differently than other Dementia's. I so hope your siblings make it easy for their LOs to care for them and realize they need to enter ALs too. One thing I would talk to ur Doctor about is Statins (Lipator for one). It has been proven they contribute to Dementia's. They do effect cognativity. You may want to go off them if you are on them for Cholesterol.
In my Dads family those who got ALZ started in their 70s. Out of 8 children 2 were diagnosed with ALZ in their 70s. They lived to be 83 and 89. Another Uncle lived to be 87, he had a stroke. 3 lived to late 70s and showed no signs of ALZ. Heart and stroke. One late 60s and one 53 both heart. So see, you may not even contract it. But good you are thinking ahead.
For my brother the downside was that he was basically a very quiet man who didn't socialize a whole lot with others. In ALF you will be socializing. Look for the place that is best for you as they vary in how they are set up. Some have cottages with say 14 residents and a common room for dining, games, TV and etc. Some are more like high rise hotel. Food varies. But you generally eat with others in a common room. There are activities and such, sometimes trips to tour the town, trips to shop, trips to a movie. There might be a "happy hour" in some places.
I would say that most of the people in my brother's ALF were more mentally impaired than he was. That would cause problems. He often said "Hey, this is like a 60s commune with everyone arguing over everything from whether the shades in the common room should be up for the artists and readers or down for the TV folk. He had beautiful grounds at his facility and liked to sit out there walk out there. Some enjoyed visiting and chatting; some didn't.
I would suggest that you consider your assets, then consider touring some facilities and see what you yourself thing. Come back and let us know.
I don't think are any negatives to AL except that your apartment will be a lot smaller (probably) than your condo now. Make sure it has Memory Care facilities attached to it as well, so if the time comes that you require more services, they are available to you w/o a major move involved.
The cost is another negative for most people who grit their teeth at paying $4-5K a month for AL.
Set up some tours of local AL/MCs in your area, and see what you think. Which one has the best all-around-package to suit YOU. Dining/entertainment/apartment/activities/care wise.
Do look over the contract you sign beforehand, looking for any oddities pertaining to 'moving out' or that they'll require 5 months notice; things like that.
Best of luck to you.