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My brother was pretty much unconscious for about 3 days, breathing like he was running a marathon, with his eyes half closed. He wasn’t awake to take fluids but it was like all the liquid in his body was coming out. His depends was shockingly soaked his last evening. Then overnight he changed, his eyes were glassy, and I really felt at that point he was gone. He died a few hours later later with little baby gasps of air.

He had a pump for pain meds and TPN, which hospice really shouldn’t have provided but he was very insistent that he was going to graduate hospice even though he a complete bowel blockage from his cancer.
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Reply to ShirleyDot
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I’m sorry you’re experiencing this, it’s truly awful. My mother went without food and had only what was termed minimal hydration for 3 full weeks after she stopped responding to us before she died. My dad chose home hospice, he stopped eating five days before, stopped communicating two days before. It was emotional and exhausting. I wish you both peace
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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For my Mom, it was a week after Hospice came on board but she already was showing signs of transition. First, she closed her eyes about 2 weeks before her passing. Still was responsive but then would not get out of bed. Then the swallowing problems. So I had the facility call in Hospice. She passed 20 min after my last visit.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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My dad's breathing slowed down to about four breaths a minute. This lasted for days. He did not have a rally before death like some people do. He passed away after less than two weeks of no food or water.
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Reply to JustAnon
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lealonnie1 May 31, 2026
My dad too. I found myself holding MY breath while he was breathing so slowly, the whole experience was awful.
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Everyone's dying experience is different, but when someone doesn't want food or water(and it's just not being withheld for some reason)that typically lets you know that the body is shutting down and preparing to leave this world for the next.
Like already said I hope you have hospice on board by now as they can answer any questions you have going forward.
My late husband went for 41 days without food or drink(although he got a little fluid through his pain pump)and hospice told me that he had broke their record for lasting that long without both. Hopefully your loved one won't be breaking any records.
So at this point since hearing is the last sense to go, make sure that you're not leaving anything left unsaid with your loved one.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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Hopefully you have hospice on board to guide you and to keep your LO comfortable? In the case of both of my parents, they didn't eat or drink for a week to 12 days before passing, there was almost no urine output, blueish cast to hands and feet, deep sleeping, and Cheyne-Stokes breathing pattern (death rattle) during the last 1-2 days before death.

My condolences on your impending loss.
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