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The facility you mention you call it a Senior Nursing Facility. Is this a SKILLED Nursing facility or is it an ASSISTED Living Facility?
Most AL facilities will allow pets as long as the resident can care for the pet. So she would have to care for the pet or hire someone that can help her.
If the facility chosen does not allow pets I would look for another that does.
The other option is to have caregivers come in and help mom. This could be anything from someone coming in in the morning to get her going then coming in in the evening to someone 24/7.
The big concern that I see is who is POA for her?
If she has memory problems and has not appointed anyone POA when the time comes to actually place her in Memory Care or Skilled Nursing you may have a difficult battle on your hands. You may have to become her Guardian and that can be an expensive, time consuming proposition. If she is currently cognitive get the paperwork done now if it has not been done.
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For many people including myself, their dogs are beloved to them. Friends that are always there for you when no one else is.
They love you unconditionally, they comfort you, you can tell them your troubles, and they never judge you.

It's not something easy to say good-bye to your best companions and walk away. Even when a person has dementia.

Make an arrangement with the nursing home for your mother to be able to visit her dogs weekly.

There are volunteers who actually do this. I had a friend who did volunteer work as a companion to the elderly. A person like this will take her to visit her dogs.
Some facilities allow dogs to "visit". They have to have special permission and be with a handler though.

Do a little research and I'm sure you'll be able to find people who will help with your mother still being able to see her dogs.
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You find a place where she can have her dogs or use her money to keep her in her home with her pets as long as possible. Those dogs have become her closest family members. They are her 24/7 life. Imagine realizing or being told you have to leave your home and the family. Leaving a home would be difficult. Leaving my pets would be devastating.

Anyway to check out some facilities near to you that allow pets? Or maybe a private home in her area where she could live with her pets?
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BurntCaregiver Sep 2023
Well said, my2cents.
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Tell her she’s going to a hospital that doesn’t allow dogs, just for a few days.
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PatsyN Sep 2023
What?! What happens to her dogs then? I guarantee she won't forget them!
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as a dog lover i understand she wants her pets which are like our children to go with her. there are lots of places that take pets. I would try to get her in one of those facilities.
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She's using the dogs as the reason not to go, plain and simple. Even if they aren't there, she'll come up with another reason.
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my2cents Sep 2023
Sounds like you've never loved a pet just as others love people. I would absolutely hate to spend the final journey of my life without my animals. They become your family, friend, emotional support and your everything. Has to be a better outcome for this elderly lady as she moves out of her house.
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Some facilities will allow one, or maybe two, small, low maintenance pets.

How many dogs does she have? What provisions can be made for them if she can’t take them with her?

Is she competent to make her own decisions and does she have resources to provide for her pets?

Where did the dogs come from? Many shelters and rescues require notification or return if the animals they place need to be rehomed. If she can afford it, a donation would be appropriate.
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JoAnn29 Sep 2023
OP says Mom is not able to care for her animals. She has to be able to care for them herself. Aides are not responsible to care for pets. Senior facilities probably do not allow them anyway. Als may.
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I don’t know about SNFs but I’ve seen plenty of assisted living facilities where residents’ dogs are welcome. And a group home near me welcomes dogs after the owner gives permission. He has dogs himself that the residents enjoy. Maybe she could find a place where her dogs can go too.
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Yes, a lot missing. Why were the dogs not removed before the transfer? Was someone there to be with Mom to help her with the transition? I wouldn't have gone either if my animals were being left behind. Need more info.
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If she has short memory then remove the dogs and try again.
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my2cents Sep 2023
Short term or long term...I would be willing to bet the dogs are still quite fresh in her mind. She lives alone with dogs. They are her immediate family and have been. I suggest looking for pet friendly facility and see about getting someone to visit in facility to assist along the way with the dogs. Or a private assisted living home that allows pets. Sell her house and put all the money toward keeping mom happy as long as possible.
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I agree with all below. I do think that it MAY BE about the dogs however. To many of us they are family.

So what arrangements are made for the dogs?

And if there is no short term memory, who is POA and who is willing to get guardianship if needed in order to protect the safety of Mom?

Too much missing here, and I can imagine myself unwilling to leave as well.
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If you talked about this for several weeks what arrangements were made for the dogs? Surely they weren't going to take mom to the facility and just leave the dogs at her place with no one to care for them.
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olddude Sep 2023
It isn't about the dogs. She just doesn't want to go to the NH. If she didn't have any pets at all she would just come up with another excuse to not go.
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