My mom was supposed to go to a Senior Nursing Facility. When they arrived to transport her there, she reused to go because she won't leave her dogs! We had talked about this for several weeks and all along she said she understood she needed care. She does have short term memory loss, and I worried if she would remember these conversations. We don't live in the same state, and because of my medical issues, I can't take care of her. She can no longer perform activities of daily living, let alone take care of her dogs. What can I do?
Most AL facilities will allow pets as long as the resident can care for the pet. So she would have to care for the pet or hire someone that can help her.
If the facility chosen does not allow pets I would look for another that does.
The other option is to have caregivers come in and help mom. This could be anything from someone coming in in the morning to get her going then coming in in the evening to someone 24/7.
The big concern that I see is who is POA for her?
If she has memory problems and has not appointed anyone POA when the time comes to actually place her in Memory Care or Skilled Nursing you may have a difficult battle on your hands. You may have to become her Guardian and that can be an expensive, time consuming proposition. If she is currently cognitive get the paperwork done now if it has not been done.
They love you unconditionally, they comfort you, you can tell them your troubles, and they never judge you.
It's not something easy to say good-bye to your best companions and walk away. Even when a person has dementia.
Make an arrangement with the nursing home for your mother to be able to visit her dogs weekly.
There are volunteers who actually do this. I had a friend who did volunteer work as a companion to the elderly. A person like this will take her to visit her dogs.
Some facilities allow dogs to "visit". They have to have special permission and be with a handler though.
Do a little research and I'm sure you'll be able to find people who will help with your mother still being able to see her dogs.
Anyway to check out some facilities near to you that allow pets? Or maybe a private home in her area where she could live with her pets?
How many dogs does she have? What provisions can be made for them if she can’t take them with her?
Is she competent to make her own decisions and does she have resources to provide for her pets?
Where did the dogs come from? Many shelters and rescues require notification or return if the animals they place need to be rehomed. If she can afford it, a donation would be appropriate.
So what arrangements are made for the dogs?
And if there is no short term memory, who is POA and who is willing to get guardianship if needed in order to protect the safety of Mom?
Too much missing here, and I can imagine myself unwilling to leave as well.