It’s my first time taking care of a elderly mother who has diabetes and bone issues.
I’m still learning to ask her questions without asking anything too personal.
In mental and physical health wise, is there anything I should look out for? How should I apply this information on an excel spreadsheet?
Your profile page says that your mother is 64. Is that correct?
What care needs are you a) aware of and b) directly involved in meeting?
Is your mother happy for you to be involved in her care?
Why does the information need to go on Excel?
She’s happy with my care so far, I’ve just met her few days ago. Please excuse me for English is not my best language and in Asia; we don’t ask personal questions immediately upon first meeting. I understand it’s important to ask;
is there any questions I needed to know and keep track of? I was asked to put her info on a excel spreadsheets by my employer to update them as they’re living abroad.
Thank you for your answer.
Why at her young age is she needing you to do any care for her? I've had 9 surgeries in the past 10 years, have arthritis, and fibromyalgia, yet I don't let things get or keep me down. And I live by myself and take care of myself.
Your mother with only diabetes and bone issues shouldn't be requiring you to "care" for her. She should be capable of caring for herself, so I wouldn't be worrying about what you need to be paying attention to when it comes to her, but should be paying attention to yourself, and why you feel she's needing your care.
I cared for my husband for 24 1/2 years of our 26 year marriage, after he had a massive stroke, and never once took notes or thought about putting anything on an excel spreadsheet. I learned as I went along, and applied what I learned.
And as far as asking your mother personal questions, if you can't ask your mother personal questions, well then who can you? She should be open to any questions you may have for her, and vice versa.
It sounds to me like you're trying to make things way more difficult than it has to be. Just enjoy your time with your mother, and let her live her life and you live yours.
The lady is not my mother but she is a mother of two adults. I’m still new to this website, I’m sorry for not mentioning that I’m not her child.
Please excuse me for English is not my best language and in Asia; we don’t ask personal questions immediately upon first meeting. I’ve only met her few days ago. I understand it’s important to ask;
is there any questions I needed to know and keep track of other than medicine and her medical condition?
I was asked to put her info on a excel spreadsheets by my employer to update them as they’re living abroad.
Thank you for your answer.
Is this YOUR mother you are talking about being a caregiver for? If so what other conditions does she have that she would require a caregiver?
If it is not your mother and you are a part time caregiver for someone else then I kinda sorta get it.
If you are a caregiver then you HAVE to ask personal questions. That is part of caring for a person, you have to know the limitations they have. You can not begin to know limitations and needs unless you you ask the personal and yes sometimes embarrassing questions. Unless someone has done this previously and made a Care Plan. In that case you sit down for as long as it takes and you review the Care Plan and you ask questions based on that information.
If you are caring for a family member I would not bother with a spreadsheet, a notebook is just fine. you want something that another caregiver can read so that they can be updated quickly if you have another caregiver in the future.
If this is for someone else I would not keep any information on a client on your own computer. The information has to be SECURE and HIPAA protected.
She is not my mother but she is a mother of two adults. I’m still new to this website, I’m sorry for not mentioning that I’m not her child.
I’ve just met her few days ago. Please excuse me for English is not my best language and in Asia; we don’t ask personal questions immediately upon first meeting. I understand it’s important to ask;
is there any questions I needed to know and keep track of other than medical care and medicines? I was asked to put her info on a excel spreadsheets by my employer to update them as they’re living abroad.
Thank you for your answer and feedback.
Just wanted to update that I’ve read the answers and would like to clarify that she is not my mother but she is a mother of two adults that are living abroad. We are both living in Asia and in where I live, we don’t ask personal questions immediately as I’ve only met her few days ago.
I’m still new to this website, I’m a new caregiver and a friend of a employer who requires me to update them through excel spreadsheets.
Thank you for your time.
Have you been informed of her medical conditions and why she needs a caregiver at such a young age?
It sounds to me that you are actually working for the adult children of your ‘client’. Ask them what they want to know, and what they want you to do! That is not asking personal questions from the person you are caring for. Perhaps they want to know that her diet is OK for her diabetes. Perhaps they just want to provide a companion for her, and they would like some assurance that you are providing it (not just sitting chatting on your phone!). Perhaps they want to know that she is looking OK. All of these things are important to different people in the US, and some are probably important to your employers. But it’s a bit like tests for cancer – there are more cancers and more tests than anyone can take, and more things that you could report on that aren’t important at all!
Ask them if they would like a camera installed, so that they can see for themselves how she is getting on. They can arrange it themselves. Ask them if they want to speak to her on the phone, and arrange a time that suits you all. Ask them if they would like to know what she is eating and drinking. And ask what else they want reassurance about!
Don’t be shy about asking questions. You can’t do what is wanted, unless you know what it is. Have courage! Love Margaret
PS I'm sorry about the excess exclamation marks, please ignore them!!!!
So: your employer is this lady's child and has asked you to keep track of his/her mother's care, and to put the information onto an Excel spreadsheet to email overseas?
#1 - do you have the lady's permission to do that?
Even if your employer is the adult living overseas, your client is the lady herself, and her information is confidential. You need her permission to share it with anyone, including her children.
This usually isn't a problem: you simply say "is it okay for me to etc.?" and she will almost certainly say yes. But trust is really important, and the first thing you need to do is show her she can trust you to respect her rights.
What to record. It depends very much on the lady's circumstances - such as, whether she is living alone or with other people around, whether she needs a great deal of support for her everyday life or almost none. What sort of things is your employer worried about?
I'm still trying to understand the relationship and role between you and the client.
Is this correct:
A. Your client/employer is the mother of 2 adults (?) or children (?) living abroad, in the US?
Or:
B. You're a friend of an employer (not the mother) who wants updated data, through Excel spreadsheets. The employer is in Asia, not America. W/o naming anyone, who exactly is the employer? Does this person have any relationship to the mother and/or two adults living abroad?
This could make a difference as a mother should have access to data about her children, UNLESS they're "of age" and adults themselves. There are American privacy rights attached to medical information.
If this is correct, there are some legal issues to first address, but with two country jurisdiction, I can only identify those issues.
1. As you know, Excel is designed more for numerical data than descriptive (words and phrases, etc.) entry. I used it to keep track of medical trips, mileage, and various payments that could be considered tax deductible.
It sounds as if your employer wants someone to log administration of medicines, and medical care, which presumably would include doctor trips, hospitalizations, etc.
2. If this is a log of that kind of data, it would be easy to record it through Excel. But if there's information that has to be provided by SOMEONE ELSE, such as a caregiver in the US, or a relative in the US, that could change the situation.
3. You're a "friend of a employer who requires me to update them through excel spreadsheets." So you're not actually employed by the mother of the 2 people living abroad? Does the "employer" have any relationship to the mother and her children?
Perhaps we can simplify these issues for you:
1. Is the mother of the two adults your employer? If not, who is (no names, just relationship, such as aunt, uncle, care company in your area, etc.)?
2. Are the two "children" not in Asia adults? Or are they children? Of what ages, generally? I ask b/c at a certain they're considered adults, with different rights.
3. Are they living in their own homes, being cared for by relatives? Or are they living in some type of care that isn't with relatives, and is paid for perhaps by their mother?
4. W/o prying, what IS the goal of keeping track of medical data? To ensure that actions are taken? To monitor daily medical activity of the siblings?
5. Who is your employer? If it's the mother, her authority to share data about children would probably be governed by laws in your country, but if the employer is not the mother, sharing data from the US with someone who's not a relative could be a legal issue.
I'm sorry to be such a nit picker, but international law could apply, as would the age of the 2 people, and the use of the data collected.
This could be complicated, but knowing more about the mother and the 2 siblings would help, as certain privacy rules might apply if the 2 siblings are being cared for by someone other than family.
Otherwise, they have a reason to complain about what was or wasn't provided.
Don't forget to bill for the time spent filling out the paperwork.
Speaking of that, be sure and secure your wages in a timely manner. If they don't pay you, leave for non-payment. Being in 2 different countries will make it hard for you to collect, so being out one week is better then months.
Unless, the person is going to use the spreadsheet to pay you by putting in how much they feel each thing u do is worth and then totaling it. I hope you have a contract outlining your duties and what is expected of you. Without it, you could be taken advantage of. Here in the US you can't work a live-in more than 40hrs a week. Over that there is overtime. They must have time off. Room and board are included and pay must be at least minimum wage which the employer is responsible for payroll deductions. This would go for those coming in on a daily basis too but seems live ins tend to be taken advantage of. Know your rights.