Follow
Share

Hi! I'm back. Again. I am so confused by my MIL. She is 95 years old.
My MIL with moderate dementia was falling a lot. We had her evaluated at a hospital. They did a lot of testing to see if they could find out why she is confused and falling. Found nothing. She was then transferred to rehab 8/18 to help with balance and stability. We had hoped to place her in assisted living, but I think she will have to go to a lockdown psych ward because of her violent behavior.


These are some of her care notes:
8/28 this nurse walked by resident's room and saw resident sitting up on the floor. No injuries noted, no c/o pain. Resident stated she didn't know where she was going. Resident pleasantly confused. Brought to nurses station to watch for safety.
8-29 Resident cut off wander guard with butter knife. New one placed on left ankle. Requested plastic wear from kitchen
9/1 Resident received shower this afternoon, resident very combative, hitting STNA's scratching, kicking, and putting nails into skin and breaking skin of STNA. Tried to redirect resident, resident tried to hit this nurse with walker. Out in common area for safety.
9/2 Unable to perform Covid test, resident tore test up
What do we do?
Why is she doing this? We asked her about kicking people and she denied doing it.
She was terribly uncooperative for us when living at home by herself. We tried to get her to wear a fall alert after she fell twice and seemed to have blacked out. She refused. We tried to get her to use a shower chair after she got stuck in the tub twice. She refused. We offered other alternatives for safer bathing. She was having none of it. She was very mad that we took away her car keys. Would call us asking for them back. Sometimes thought other people had borrowed her car. Her PCP told her if she did not cooperate more with those taking care of her, she would end up in a nursing home. She strongly shouted. "NO, No nursing home. I am staying in my house." I think she will be placed in a psyche ward.


She is incapable of living at home. I can't take care of her. And now she is behaving like a spoiled two year old prone to temper tantrums. She has always been EXTREMELY STRONG WILLED and as a child tried to see how much she could get away with.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
8/29. 9/2. Spunky.

9/1 definitely no good. Was the STNA rough with her and/or showed her frustration?

She is probably bored and this is her way of having "fun"
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
JoAnn29 Sep 2023
Really Cover some of ur responses don't help.
(2)
Report
See 3 more replies
Your MIL suffers from dementia which is why she's confused, falling, and acting combative. She needs to be evaluated by a geriatric psychiatrist who can medicate her appropriately to help her stay calmer. If your husband is her POA, he can then place her in Memory Care Assisted Living even if she doesn't want to go.

I suggest you read this 33 page booklet online about managing dementia and what to expect with an elder who's been diagnosed with it. Lots of Do's and Don't tips for dealing with dementia sufferers are suggested in the booklet.

Understanding the Dementia Experience, by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller 

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580

Jennifer is a nurse who worked for many years as an educator and counsellor for people with dementia and their families, as well as others in caring roles. She addresses the emotional and grief issues in the contexts in which they arise for families living with dementia.

The reviews for her books are phenomenal b/c they are written in plain English & very easy to read/understand. Her writings have been VERY helpful for me.

The full copy of her book is available here:

https://www.amazon.com/Thoughtful-Dementia-Care-Understanding-Experience/dp/B09WN439CC/ref=sr_1_2?crid=2E7WWE9X5UFXR&keywords=jennifer+ghent+fuller+books&qid=1657468364&sprefix=jennifer+ghent%2Caps%2C631&sr=8-2

Educate yourself about what lies ahead as dementia progresses before you decide what steps to take. Knowledge is power.

Best of luck.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
MargieRKB Sep 2023
There is a memory care assisted living on the other side of one of the doors to the rehab unit. I toured it yesterday. They do have an opening. And they have this beautiful day room with a full wall window to a beautiful enclosed courtyard that the memory care residents can use. They have special music and art programs for dementia. It is a smaller unit and they try to keep the same staff there so those are consistent
(1)
Report
Make sure she gets tested for a UTI. These can cause psychiatric symptoms.

Agree with getting her seen by a Geriatric Psychiatrist.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
anonymous1732518 Sep 2023
Why can't it just be she may be bored and this is her way of having "fun"?

Tearing up of COVID test, takes some nerve.
(0)
Report
See 3 more replies
Have they tested for a UTI? It could be delirium because of where she is. I would say, though, that Mom is more than Moderate Dementia. And now is the time to place her. Get a 24/7 eval. If ur told she needs 24/7 care and she has no money she can be transferred to LTC with Medicaid paying. The LTC can help u get started with the application. Be on top of them though, Medicaid only allows a certain length of time to get to them info required. Also, make sure you read the application to make sure everything is in order. If she has money, she can go into Memory Care.

Its no longer what Mom wants, its what she needs. If she has not seen a Neurologist, she needs to.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
MargieRKB Sep 2023
yes, it went from moderate to fairly severe. She will not be coming back to her house. She will be going into some kind of care. We are looking to sell her car and house to help pay for her care. Also, unoccupied house and unused car are money down the drain.
(1)
Report
What can you do about Mom attacking, nothing. The RN should be bring uo the problem with tge facility doctor. He can order a medication to help her. I would ask the DON if meds can be given.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
anonymous1732518 Sep 2023
Thing is to make sure she takes them.
(0)
Report
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter