My mom is 90 years old, in good health, has 2 savings accounts, 1 checking account, an IRA and an annuity. Her home is paid for, she paid cash for her car and her bills and health care are up to date. I know this because I help her pay her bills and make sure she gets the medical attention she needs. Her memory is not good, but not seriously bad. She lives independently and goes wherever she wants. We went out of town, she took a large amount of money from her savings and lost it. She could not remember what she did with it.
My daughter asked her if she wanted to attend a program where the ticket costs $18.00. She said that she did not have the money. She has money in both her savings and checking so we know her statement is not true. My husband and I have talked with her to let her know that she does have money. But, if there is a big ticket item that she wants to purchase, like a couch, that she does not need, she will try to figure out how to purchase it. Why does she say that she does not have enough money? My husband and I are baffled because we know better. I've shown her statements so she could see how much she has in her accounts. What do we do and why does she think she does not have enough money? When I questioned her about her transferring money from one account to another one, she said that she wanted to build her account up. I told her it was best to let it stay where it is because it draws more interest, she then said that she had something that she wanted to do. I did not ask her what it was that she wanted to do because I thought that she might get angry.
Any explanation would be helpful and appreciated
It sounds to me like you need to manage your mom's accounts. It might be hard to get them turned over to you, but if she has lost a large sum and can't understand how to best manage her money between accounts, you need to be in charge.
Plus due to her dementia she can't remember much.
I had to fight with my mom to buy a hearing aide when it was apparent for years that she needed one. Boy was that a struggle. But she had her priorities straight with paying her bills. The last 18 months of her life was in a NH but prior to that she paid everything on time. Money orders were big with her as well; she preferred these or cash to pay her car insurance, secondary insurance premiums, etc. But for her to pay more than $20 for a haircut and perm was pushing the envelope so I would pay for those things she considered over priced.
Her generation were taught that every penny counts, plus she had 11 brothers & sisters so her family probably struggled.
My mother would have been an awesome financial manager in the days before her dementia.
It is best just to not bother your Mom about her savings. If she doesn't want to pay for tickets, then she won't go. She remember when tickets to an event were 25 cents, so $18.00 sounds outrageous to her.
Heck, I remember when gasoline was 35 cents per gallon. So I know how your Mom feels.
If your Mom wants to buy a new sofa for herself, so be it, it's not worth the battle at that cost. My parents finally bought a new sofa after 55 years. So pick your battles. Now if your Mom has her eye on a red Dodge Challenger, well that's a different story :)
Thanks again