There are 4 siblings in my family. The youngest sister is trustee and has durable POA. After my Dad passed, she decided who could and could not spend time with Mom. I had to stop calling as she would scream into the phone every time I called which upset my Mom. The last time I saw her, my brother attacked another one of my sisters and spent some time in jail. This happened in my Mom's backyard. I stopped going over as for some reason they hate me and spread lies about me to anyone that will listen. My brother is 2nd trustee and the two of them work together. They have illegally tapped my mom's phone and constantly watch the ADT. I have contacted Senior and Disabled Services and they did nothing. Told me to bring a "bodyguard" if I went over. The phone now never gets answered when I call. Trustee #1 was a CNA and believes she can do it all and will not allow me to help in anyway. Uses my disability and CHF as an excuse. I have been seeing a therapist who basically has told me there is nothing I can do. At this rate, I will never know if my mom dies or when her funeral is. They hold all information to themselves. I am heartbroken over this. I never expected this. I "assumed" we would all work together. I was so very wrong.
"https://www.agingcare.com/questions/what-to-do-when-one-sibling-has-taken-over-caretaking-for-your-mom-and-refuses-to-let-anyone-in-475210.htm"
POA does not give sister the right to keep children away from a parent. It was suggested in ur last post to call APS and get a "well check" Being trustee gives her no rights either. Thats over Moms money, not Mom.
All I can say is hire a lawyer. There's legal aide if you can't afford a lawyer. Have them write a letter telling the Sister that POA does not give her the right to keep Moms children away from her. Being a Trustee does not give her that right either.
Been there done that.
Is your mother now suffering from dementia?
Sorry to say this, but were it me I would hope that I WAS completely and utterly mindless now.
You have already contacted authorities. They have told you that you should have a guard if you go there. So you have two courses of action now.
Legal Action: Attend an elder law attorney and find out what the visitation options are for your own state. You may also consider an action to ask the POA to bring all records to a judge of the court for examination. If there are signs of abuse these POA may be excused by the court and a court appointed attorney put in place. THIS OPTION REQUIRES MONEY.
PEACEMAKER Action: Send cards, notes to Mom and hope they get through. Attempt to make peace offering to visit only with sister in the room during brief visit to tell Mom you think of her and you love her. This option will require offering your help, attempting peacemaking.
NO action: When something like this happens to a family, this sort of angry chaos, there is already a WHOLE FLOOD of water that has flowed under the bridge. You do not have POA. I don't know if your parent purposely gave sister and brother POA or if they coerced it, but without court action it simply is what it is. You already reached out for help and it was denied. So yes, in this case, it is OVER. The more you interfere the more you will be denied. Send a note saying you are always available to help day or night and would treasure a visit to give Mom your love but that you are otherwise out of all this and getting on with your life.
Then get on with your life.
Remember Dr Laura's excellent admonition: "Not everything can be fixed".