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Its 3:00am and once again I can't stay asleep.  I'm not even a caregiver anymore. My Mom passed six mths. ago. But I still suffer with insomnia.

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The best advice i ever got about insomnia was "get up". Don't stay in bed and worry. Get up and read a boring book. Do the dinner dishes. Sit in the dark and meditate. When you feel sleepy., go back to bed.
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I have pills for that. I take about half a pill and read a book until it kicks in.
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Gershun, you start reading AC on the tablet.;-)

Try zzzQuil. It is wonderful. I also will take melatonin in the early morning hours. That will usually get me another five hours of sleep or so. And watching Andy Griffith episodes on YouTube also works fairly well. Chamomile tea? Hit the brain off switch. Don't you wish there was such a thing? A sleep switch woyld be better, but then how would you turn the wake switch on?

Hoping you got some sleep.
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Back before modern times (and modern lighting - thanks to Thomas Edison and the Industrial Revolution that required working on a set schedule) a lot of humans slept in two blocks of time. So they'd wake up and get up and do some stuff and then go back to bed. It's only recently that we think we should sleep in a solid 8 hour block of time. Here's an article from LiveScience about it. If they strip it out, google polyphasic sleep. It's pretty interesting. Once you realize you're "normal" when you wake up, it makes it easier to deal with, I think.
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Gershun, I hate it when that happens. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and have a hard time getting back to sleep. I rearrange the pillows and covers, but nothing works. I take the covers off, then pull them back up. Ack! I usually just lay there and convince myself that resting my body is good, too, so not to worry so much about not being asleep. Finally I go back to sleep.
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I had trouble sleeping last night. So I got out of bed, went to the living room, and took an over-the-counter sleep med with Benadryl. I just God an Amazon Echo, so I ordered up a thunderstorm sound and listened until I got very sleepy. Off to bed!

Any major pharmacy has a generic. Cheap, non- habit forming, effective.

Don't stay in bed.
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Melatonin usually works; sometimes I take a 81 mg aspirin, which a neurologist advised me to take years ago anyway. I used to drink certain kinds of herbal tea but haven't done that in years and don't remember which kinds I drank.

But first I try to redirect my mind. I read sometime ago that SERE military training incorporated a technique to refocus thoughts on something other than a current experience, such as that when someone was caught by an enemy combatant. It's a method of coping with an extremely unpleasant physical and mental situation (you can interpret from there).

So I think about waves lapping on a deserted beach, the scent of pines in a forest, and breath deeply as singers do - it takes concentration just to do that. Learning to breathe for vocal strength is different than the way most people breath naturally. Usually I'm out in about 5 minutes.

If worse comes to worse I get up and read IRS instructions. The ones for trust tax preparation are especially good; I can hardly get through a page without becoming drowsy.

Or get up and do something that always relaxes you, whether it's reading something soothing (unlike IRS instructions), or something that diverts your attention (sewing, crocheting, knitting, drawing).
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I've had insomnia as long as I can remember, even as a teen ager. I've become a mini expert in all the home remedies. What type of bedding, what type of pjs, scents and lighting, sounds and warm drinks - some ridiculous some reasonable. I even sought rxs but avoided the real heavy hitters as I need to be able to wake up if I hear my disabled son getting up and wandering the house. Nothing worked. As my mom declined my insomnia got worse - I would have at least 2 nights a week with no sleep at all. On nights I could sleep I would only be able to sleep about two hours at a time - then up for one hour - then sleep for two. I never got to that REM stage that you need to hit to become truly rested. One thing has finally worked - it a bit radical. So, my AC friends please don't judge me. Cannibis. Being a child of the 60's I had tried it a long time ago but hadn't used it in over 30 years. In Oregon cannibus became legal for recreational use last summer. Now you can buy it in little shops where they have "bud tenders" who advise you like you are shopping for a fine wine, lol! I asked for one that would help with sleep. The pot today is nothing like the pot of my youth - it is very customized, if that's the right word. Two puffs and I fall asleep almost immediately and stay asleep for at least 4 hours. I never smoke during the day - although I've been tempted on particularly stressful days, lol. I don't drink alcohol at all. And I only resort to it on nights when I spent at least two hours trying to fall asleep the old fashion way. It has saved my freying sanity. My brother suffers from insomnia as well - I suggested it to him and has worked for him as well. Just a thought. Of course you need to be in a state where you might be able to get a medical marijauna Rx or in Oregon, Washington or Colorado where it is legal recreationally.
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RainMom makes a good point - aromatherapy. I sniff cinnamon; it relaxes me so quickly. I also have a heating pad with lavender and geranium oil - Just a quick sniff relaxes me.

Heating cinnamon or ginger or cloves in water can also produce soothing aromas.

And if you have a cat or dog, petting them is soothing enough to be relaxing.
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It's at those times when I find myself saying some of the most honest, heartfelt & passionate prayers that I can...prayers for help & guidance as well as prayers of thanks for small victories & unexpectedly quiet moments. It always gives me a sense of peace that allows me to relax & fall asleep.
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Ugh, I was restless last night, too, and it was only a quarter moon in the sky. I usually turn on the TV and search for a show that normally would makes me sleepy... I tune into the Buzzr network with the old 1950's-1970's game show reruns which also has the old commercials from that time. Eventually I will doze off.

As for pets, I usually find all 3 cats on the bed, with two of them glaring at each other then in a blink of an eye a cat fight develops. Not easy to doze off after that :0
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Whatever you do Gershun, don't do what I do...
1. Do not watch those cooking shows then cook loads of yummy stuff, end up eating it all because it's only you and of course, get fat. I keep telling myself that I'm purposely trying to see how much weight I can gain.

2. Do not expect your fur kids to be any company. My girls don't stop snoring when I get up and leave, if they do happen to wake up, it's only to occupy the empty spot leaving me to become a contortionist when I do go back to bed (heaven forbid I make them move)

3. Don't watch a comedy (Train wreck) expecting to laugh the entire movie. Oh no, even that movie made me cry when her dad in AL died. Gads.

4. Pot? HA! Been there, done that. I laid huddled under the covers with a major panic attack from just a few puffs, which was after I ate the entire box of cookies.

Lately I youtube Native American flute music set to sounds of thunder and rain as GA suggested I try to redirect my ever rampant thoughts and concentrate on deep breathing.

Rainmom, I've been dabbling with heading over to the pot shop since it is very customized these days. After the awful experience I've had the few times I tried it I am a bit leary... God knows I don't need the munchies followed by severe anxiety attacks. Oh and no judging from me... if it had become legal 6 months earlier I was going to try it on my mother to ease her 36 hour pace-athons.
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Hi Jeanette - sorry to hear about your bad experience. One of the first "strain" I tried also sent me into a near panic attack. For some reason it reached into my brain and found my worst fear - who will look after my son after hubby and I no longer can. It only lasted a short while but it totally freaked me out! So into the trash it went. Then I got on line and did a truck load of research. Educated myself on the different strains, "head highs" vs "body highs", munchie strains for people who need to help their appetite vs those who don't (me!) strains that are good for pain, strains that were good for anxiety etc. I was dumbfounded at how specialized it all has become. I also found a shop where the staff really listened to my needs and fears and after trying 3 different strains I found the right one. A while ago I clocked how much sleep I was getting in a week - roughly 28 hours and never for more than two hours at a time. My daytime hours were being dangerously impacted by my lack of sleep. I wasn't safe to drive - would fall asleep behind the wheel. At times I would actually fall asleep standing up. I once fell asleep while vacuuming! I couldn't nap during the day as I had to watch my son - every now and then I could get him to lay down with me and I would throw my arm over him to wake me if he tried to get up. But people with autism are notorious for needed little sleep...Melatonin does work for my son at bed time. He takes 3mg every night and has for 20 years. I would have thought he would have developed an amunity to it by now - however on nights when I hear him still awake an hour after going to bed, I'll think about it and realize I forgot to give it to him that night. So I would suggest anyone try that before going my route - Melatonin just didn't help me. For sure cannibis isn't the answer for everyone - but it has been the only thing that has helped me after over 40 years of sleepless nights.
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Get up.
Adjust the temperature, cool is better for me.
Open a window for circulating air.
Drink water.
Don't expect anything fun, entertaining, or exciting to be happening in the middle of the night. (Changing your expectations).
Don't fret over not sleeping.
I eat something, but not much.
Repeat your bedtime ritual.
If you want to sleep, turn off electronics and the screen on your tablet/kindle at least one hour before bed.
Appreciate the silence, the dark, or, turn on a nightlight.
Hope this is helpful to you.
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Gershun, Sorry that you are missing your mom. I believe that once a caregiver, always a caregiver. A retired caregiver, but with a wealth of loving concern, compassion, burnout, and skills that could never be taught in schools. And, always a part of this caregiving community, a part of a special friendship and family that won't forget you. If that leaves you a bit undone for awhile, and sleepless, then you are not alone, friend.
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Wow, you guys really came through for me.Maybe I'll try all of the above tonight. Listen to native music, smoke pot, open the window, pat my cats, read IRS instructions etc. etc. If I don't fall asleep I might flip out and be taken to the funny farm. I hear they have lots of good drugs there that would help me out.

But seriously friends. You guys are the absolute best. I knew I could count on you for great advice. Love you!!!
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Ozark Olly, i don;t have insomnia often, but yes, the best prayer ever on those rare occasions when I do. I learned at one of those times, that God's grace was enough for me, and I have not forgotten it.
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Too funny, Gershun! That's quite an image! I thought of a couple other "remedies" I've tried over the years that might enhance your experience. Sleep in the buff - night cloths twist, hike, construct possibly waking you. Chant a soothing, meditatave phrase - "I don't feel silly, I don't feel silly". Apply lavender scented body lotion as a part of a regular night time ritual...a night time ritual is key as it tells your mind and body that it's sleepy time. Go to bed and get up at the same time every day - doesn't make any difference if it's a lazy Sunday morning! Some of the things I've tried have seemed so odd - but when you're sleep deprived you'll try anything! Oh, by the way - do your IRS manual reading in a different room. The bedroom is only for sleeping!!! Not sure about the cats - that may be a grey area.
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I think of my sister Geri who died suddenly 2 years ago . She was 49 and it was sudden cardiac death. I say a pray for her , tell her I miss her and think about her and how beautiful she was . Then I cry and fall asleep ... Then I go,to sleep and seem to wake up ok for work .i haven't slept well since Geri died I'm still having grief and I miss her she was my bestie , I still feel lost.
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ohmeowzer Love your avatar first of all.Secondly I can relate to missing your bestie. My Mom who died 6 mths. ago was first and foremost the best Mom in the world but also my bestie.

Since her death sleeping has become quite the adventure. Nightmares galore. Nightmares about Mom dying, quite often about me dying. Dying,, dying, dying.
Seems to be the common theme. Maybe thats why I can't sleep. Cause when I do its all so depressing. I've been talking in my sleep lately too which is unlike me.
So what to do......what to do. I don't know. But you've all come up with some good suggestions.
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I have this problem as well! tried praying which sometimes helps although not very religious. Lavender oil on tissue near pillow and reading a good book not a boring one! The trouble is brooding on problems when trying to sleep. ( why didnt I get a divorce years ago for instance. The fact is the financial problems would have been worse than the continual controlling behaviour of my husband). I miss my lovely cat to cuddle! Too late to get another one I guess.

Also get up and tidy something for half an hour only - otherwise it can go on for the rest of the night! I must get some melatonin as suggested here. Can
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My mother wanted some cannabis for intractable pain but not available here in UK . Should have gone to Holland . Doctor horrified when I suggested it would help her. When we were in Virginia everyone seemed to have it- not legally of course. I think it would be helpful in very small quantities if I could get hold of it!
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Gershun,
It's the worst feeling in the world and I'm sorry you are having trouble.After i went off some medicene,I could'nt sleep for a long time through a night and I would see each hour from midnight to morning and never go to sleep.I know it's awful.The doctor told me that noone ever died from lack of sleep and to take melatonin.I finally found some relief after time and a few Lunesta pills.Take care!!!
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Another poster on the same subject a while ago said that her mother had told her that you should keep your tongue free and then you should fall asleep. It has actually worked a few times but not always.
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Keep your tongue free?
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What does that mean, to keep your tongue free?
Free, and flapping in the wind? Free to talk out loud in the silence? Free of cuss words? Free from chewing on it or keep it free and away from your teeth?

Maybe just thinking of what it means would put one to sleep?
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Good question. Explain Veronica. Enquiring minds want to know.
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I realize that my tips are NOT recommended by the experts, but they work for me. lol If I awake and can't get back to sleep, I eat just a little something to calm my stomach....just a bite of banana or a cracker with a sip of milk. Then I get on the couch, (getting out of the bed works for me) with my pillow and soft blanket and turn on some mindless tv. I try to find something that bores me to death, like a silent movie or homemaker show. I then slightly try to pay attention and I'm out like a light.
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My dentist once recommeded 7 grain bread, one slice before bed, instead of a candy bar. Apparently, some of us are waking up hungry not being able to go all night without food.
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Just try all or any of these tips! Must be something that works for you . Not too sure about the tongue free one but guess it means relax your tongue. Do not clench teeth either!
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