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She is very fearful going down steps facing forward, but insists she want to go to a family gathering that requires her to go up a full 14 steps. Two people will be helping her, so I think she'll get up okay. Facing the descent is more scary, even with a person in front of her. I see no recommendations online for facing backwards or sitting on each step. Has anyone tried either?

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I would consult with a physical therapist about this. A gait belt might be a safe bet.

Have you spoken to her doctor about this " feeling " she has?
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I'd also make sure that the handrails on this staircase are well anchored.
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For going down stairs, which can be scary as we get older, is to have handrails on both sides of the stairway, depending on how wide the stairs. I work in an older building that has no elevator and the stairways have handrails both sides which are easy to hold onto, never afraid of those stairs :)

Now what to do at someone else's house.... I can't envision a lady of 92 going down the stairs by siding on her backside and trying to slide from one step to another. My Dad [94] has tried that at his own house which has stairs that are U shaped thus there is a landing for him to rest, and he said he was exhausted.

I wouldn't recommend going backwards down the stairs as that is so unnatural that anyone helping Mom could fall in the process.

Best bet is like you had mentioned having two people helping Mom.... have Mom hold onto the handrail with someone holding her arm as a guide. Now a younger bigger person could be in front of her as a buffer in case she feels she will fall, but note whomever is in front could also fall.

I recommend whomever is helping Mom to do this quietly, the softer the voice the easier depending on her hearing.... no loud WATCH IT, MOM, DON"T FALL, as that could startle her.
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Another thought why Mom could also be afraid of going down stairs beside her leg.... does she wear bifocal eyeglasses? If so, when doing down stairs she would be looking down through the reading part of the eyeglasses so everything beyond that reading level will look very blurry.

One of my Mom's doctors had recommended a single vision pair of glasses when she doesn't need close up vision... like glasses used for driving, looking in the distance. The doctor said it would make walking easier so she could easily step up or down at a curb, instead of using her foot like one does to stick their toes to test to see how cold the swimming pool water.
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Who will be at this event? When my grandfather faced this dilemma two burly young grandsons just scooped him up and carried him. Which ever method you choose make sure the helpers are actually physically capable of catching her if she falls otherwise you will have two or three tumbling down the stairs instead of one!
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Is it the same leg Mom feels may give out or do they both feel that way?If it is the same one use the better one to step up then bring the weaker one up to the same step and continue to do this one step at a time. Have her hold on to either the rails or two sturdy people positioned one step ahead of her. Have another strong person behind to push if needed. Let her take her time and decide when she is ready for the next step. Going down is usually easier but use the same principle and let the strong leg lead. You can try carrying her up and down tied to a chair with arms but the helpers need extremely good balance. If the stairs are very wide try the chair method with one person on each side and hopefully a rail on each side too. I agree about not wearing bifocal glasses they do cause a lot of falls.
having written all that I see the original question referred to going down stairs.
I would guess the easiest would be sideways. Have Mum face the rail and hold on with both hands. Let the strong leg lead. Put the strong leg on the next step then bring the weak one down beside it and repeat. Mum will be steady enough holding on with both hands to look down and see where the next step is so she won't get disorientated. A circle of helpers of course is needed for safety but don't stop letting her have fun if she really wants to go.
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I remember when I went to some classes with my mom prior to her first hip replacement they covered this. Although I can't remember for sure which leg they said to use first - sorry! But you might do an online search using this criteria to find the answer. I'm pretty sure it's as Veronica say - strong leg leads and then proceed like a toddler would - always leading strong leg, one step at a time - not alternating legs. My disabled son is afraid of going down stairs - which for me, is kind of a good thing as it can work like an invisible fence. Anyhow - he will use his heel on the lead foot and slide it down the face of the descending stair. Not sure how this helps but since it is an instinctual act with him there has to be something to it - and he is defiantly stronger on one side than the other. Maybe suggest it - or not, could just add confusion. And if using steps a lot, you wear through shoes quickly.
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Use the strongest leg first. That's what the therapists told my father after his falls.
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You have gotten very good advice. Do not go backwards as that messes up the brain to much. Use a gait belt as suggested, if you dont have one a wide mens belt will help, fasten it around her waist a bit loosly the person behind her puts their hand through the belt in back. This will help her feel more steady. Use good leg first and go at a pace she is comfortable with. The person in front is there to give extra support if needed. If there are no hand rails i wouldnt attempt it at all. Going down on butt has the big problem of getting on you butt at the top of the stairs so dont think thats a good idea. Nice to see her wanting to be involved. Hope all go ok and everyone enjoys the party.
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Um, actually the rule of thumb is down with the bad, up with the good. Do get PT and maybe OT involved, try to find out why the leg feels like it will give (hip, knee, ankle??) with an ortho or rheumatology appointment maybe. Here's how the stairs work though: you step down with the weaker leg, and then just to that step with the good leg once you are steady That's one step at a time not step over step. And yes, hold the handrails. The reason is when you step down, the leg staying on the upper step does most of the work in controlling the rate of descent, and when you step up, the leg stepping up does the work in lifting the body.

My mom did the backwards stair climbing going down and it worked for her - she had bad hips and knees, and they had let an OT recommend and get good stair rails installed that served her well. She eventually fell off a step stool trying to clean a closet that did not need cleaned, though....
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Yes sorry vstefan is correct down lead with bad up lead with good
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I honestly couldnt recall from the hip classes but leading strong seemed to make sense - guess not, sorry! For fun (quiet night) I went to our steps to go down - just wanted to see what came naturally. Sure enough my leg with nerve damage started off on its own first!
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After my mother suffered from a fractured femur, my father made "baby steps" for her from wood about 1" thick. I don't recall specifically what kind of wood.

The height was about half the step. Generally, one of us would hold onto her, sometimes with a gait belt and the other would move the baby step from one fixed step down to the next one.

What this did is temporarily reduce the height of the riser so she didn't have to step as far, putting less stress on her legs.
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According to Mums OT good leg to heaven bad leg to hell - it was something Mum could remember. BUT you do need hand rails both sides of the stairs for this to work. On the coming down side of things the carer need to come down facing the LO then if the loved one does start to overbalance a well placed hand will enable the carer either to stop the overbalance or to push them back on to their bottoms. either way they don't fall. If you choose this method you have to come down the stairs together just one stair apart or the pull of gravity will make that steadying hand impossible - you will both end up in a heap at the bottom of the stairs. NOTE: this is NOT an approved method but it is just one that a very experienced nurse told me about and Mum feels happiest with. The RULE is to let them come down and if they fall they fall - sorry I can't do this hence me explaining the way I manage Mums safety
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Facing backwards would be disasterous! Have someone stand on one side of her and one on the other holding onto her. Have her look out toward the horizon and keep reassuring her she is "safe". Isn't there a railing?
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Have the good leg step down first; follow with the second. Stop on the stair and feel stable, than go for the next step. My 93 year old father followed this rule until we moved into an apartment with no steps. I have him living with me because falls are an issue with him.
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I don't have any trouble walking or going down stairs, but recently was going down carrying boxes and not being able to see the steps and felt insecure, so I tapped my heel against the back of each lower step to feel that my feet were aligned properly before setting down my foot. Don't know if that would be feasible for her or not. Just an idea.
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Absolutely use a gait belt!! If you've never used one you'll be amazed at how much help it is. I would also think coming down the stairs normally with people assisting on both sides of her would be safer than trying to go down backwards or on her butt.
You can get a gait belt on line at Walmart or probably at any pharmacy and they are under $20. I would recommend that anyone caring for an elder get one. Like I said you'll be amazed at how much help such a simple thing is!
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Let her go down how ever she is able. What does it matter if she goes forward oe backward? I f she is ia able to go down the stairs let her...there is so little left to her let her pick the way up or down and rejoice in her ability to do the this. Blessings, Lindaz
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How about putting her on a chair with side handles and having two men carry her up and down. That's how my mother left the house the last time she was at home even though we had a stair lift. The paramedics carried her out in a chair that we had.
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I have a problem like that myself where either of my names could easily give out or unlock. I have already collapsed more than once, and I actually try and avoid stairs as much as possible. Whenever I'm out and about in an area that requires stairs, I tried to up for the stair chair of the elevator instead. If this is not possible, I usually leave. If your situation happens to be in a residential setting such as an apartment building, you may want to get a downstairs apartment. If this is in a regular house, you may want to set up downstairs on the main floor. I know someone who did this because of her knees. She never went upstairs, And I don't want her because the last thing we need is a nasty injury caused by a leg unlocking or buckling under us. This is why I try my best to avoid stairs as much as absolutely possible, and I'll even go out of my way to make creative excuses to avoid stairs for this very reason. When you live alone, It's always wise to avoid hazards and stay well within in your personal limits when you discover where those limits are. It's well-known that prevention is key, and this is actually true.

Getting back to the house, another good option is to downsize to a smaller one story house with no steps. You will also find that there are places that will build you a ramp over your porch. When visiting people who have stairs, I try to avoid it as much as absolutely possible and have them come to me after explaining the situation. This is something you can try because it definitely works for me. If your loved one is open to hosting in her home, this would definitely be a big win for everyone. Anytime someone is afraid of falling down the stairs due to a problem with the lower extremities, this is a sure sign that they should probably just avoid the hazard all together, and that's where I firmly stand because you'll never find me in the ER with a stairs related injury, especially a head injury. Again, I am a firm believer are in prevention, even if prevention means complete avoidance. This is why am so glad that more or processes for incidences are becoming more accessible than ever before
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Private she is just asking about a one time visit to relatives house for holiday. But thank you for you comments. I agree stairs can be a scary thing for many people.
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ramiller, remember the line everyone saying where it only takes once for something to happen? Actually, this is very true! All it takes is just one time for something to happen, and stairs is no place to be if a leg suddenly gives out. This is why I am a strong believer in prevention since all it takes is one time for an accident to happen when you have one or both legs that can suddenly buckle under you.
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If financially possible, install a rail chair, one where the elder sits on the chair and rides up the steps.
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This is a one time dinner party.
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Handrails are a must and 1 more physically-stronger person- is also recommended. Someone at 92 or anyone whose balance, joints, or overall health is compromised in anyway should never be on a stairwell unattended. We found that facing the handrail and holding onto it with both hands, made stepping up/down much easier. You step down "sideways." Of course, someone else is next to this person- just a few "steps away" -in the direction she/he is stepping in just in case she/he loses her balance or needs assistance.
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pamelac, let us know how the family dinner party went and how your Mom did with the stairs in that house. Hopefully it wasn't a big issue :)
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Yes, hopefully it wasn't really that big of an issue and hopefully she didn't fall. Come to think of it, I would think that if stairs were totally unavoidable, she could go down on her can. She'll get a little dirty but at least she'll be safe.
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Molly, no, that's not good enough. The OP should invest in a riding chair rail system!
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Llama, the OP would have been taking her mother to someone else's house, where the OP would have no legal authority to make any alterations at all to the house, including installation of a chair rail system.

These also aren't that easy to install. There was a good DIY Holmes Makes it Right episode in which Holmes, an experienced contractor, had to finish up an installation that wasn't properly done. It was not an easy, or cheap, project.
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