My mother drives and they spend lots of $$$ eating out and shopping. I feel like they should save money for their future but I also don't want them to feel like they are "stuck" and can't do anything fun. I think they should try to eat a lot of meals at the AL facility since they've paid for them and they are balanced and nutritious. Am I being too controlling? I have POA for my father since he has dementia.
My mom has lived in independent living for 13 years. I can't count the number of people in that time who have had to leave the facility because their money ran out. So try to strike a balance between living for today and being cautious with their spending. How old are your folks? My mom is 96 and my dad lived there for 9 years too, until he passed away...so your folks could be living there for a long time, depending on their ages.
As POA's our job is to make their money last to cover their expenses for their lifetime, IF it is available. So many are not as fortunate. You have some careful decisions to make when you get their budget hammered out.
My mom eats cereal in her room for breakfast and I keep her fridge stocked with evening meals. It's nice to get a little monetary break.
It's all about adjusting your perceptions and living in the new reality, even if that reality leads to some very difficult conversations. Just remind them that the reason you are doing this is because you love them. If you did not care, they could possibly run out of money and then where would they be?
You are a loving and compassionate daughter looking out for their well-being. It will be tough at times dealing with them. Always remember you are doing the right thing and stand firm as you said. Those are good words in your situation. ((Hugs))
Right now when they call for more money and I ask what they spent the other money on, they are very vague :( They spent more than $900 this month and this is on top of the assisted living fees where ALL their meals are paid for. They have always lived without a budget and just used credit cards so this is a huge change for them.
My husband and I will be meeting with them next Saturday and we've got their income and debt all spelled out -- we'll work together so they can come up with a reasonable budget. My only fear with a prepaid debit card is that they won't keep track of their balance and they'll be at a restaurant and not have enough money to pay. We'll have to see how to mitigate that.
Thank you again to everyone for their input. I appreciate it.
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