My 86-year-old mother-in-law broke her hip 3 years ago. She was very uncooperative during her rehab stay and refused to make life-style changes (wear better shoes, remove loose rugs, rearrange furniture, use walker, get LifeAlert, use portable phone) to aid in her recovery at home. During the last six months she has declined rapidly, falling three more times, with the last fall leaving her semi-conscious on the floor for 10-12 hours before she was found. She spent 3 days in the hospital, 30 days in rehab and has been moved into assisted living for a 30-day trial period. One week into the trial period, the staff have already indicated that they do not think she will adjust. She has refused to eat, refused to do physical therapy, refused to participate in any activities including church, and refused to let staff change her clothes after she had an "accident." She needs 24/7 care and we believe that she will also refuse to cooperate with home caregivers. What do we do now?
~FyreFly
I've been impressed with the smaller facilities and think that they could be an option for her. We chose the current facility because it was affiliated with her church but that doesn't seem to matter as much to her since she refused to attend church services. She just keeps insisting that she wants to go home.
Her current facility has offered to move her to back to rehab until we decide what to do next. (After a week of refusing to eat and to do physical therapy, her condition has worsened again.) She now believes that moving back to rehab means that she will be going home soon. The facility has suggested that she have a geriatric psychiatric exam. Would this be helpful?
There may be another possibility, though, that you might consider. Assisted living facilities are typically thought of as larger, almost resort style properties. Becoming more common are what have become known as "Adult Family Homes". These are smaller ALFs, typically under 14 beds, where caregiver patient ratios are higher, and care is more intimate. Pricing is similar if not less than larger facilities.
There will be no where near the social interaction, activity, etc., but hey, not everyone thrives in those environments. With more attention and calmer surroundings maybe mom will do better.
Carol