I lost my job in April 2014, had to move in with a friend of mine, who at that time was working overseas, he also lost his job in Feb 2015, when i moved in, i had to look after his mom, who is 84, as she had series of mini steokes and also dementia. I take care of her, do the cooking, cleaning, ironing, shopping, laundry, run errands for them both. When i moved in i had just received my pension from the company i was dismissed from, i bought a car and a foodtrailer as means of income, but after a year and six months had to sell the foodcar, as i just dont have the time to continue with it as i am looking after his mom, and doing all the other things as well. Also when i moved in, i paid R50 000 to have the roof of the backroom fixed as it had rain damage and leaking, and i had to fix it in order to store my furniture there, after a bit more than a year, i moved out, but within 2 months i was back, continuing to do everything. I dont have the use of the fixed room now for storage and had to store my furniture at my parents house in a garage, its getting damaged there with water and also rat infestation. So i have "paid" and "lost" the money i spent to store my things in the room i paid to have fixed. I hardly get time for visiting my kids saw my kids in December 2015, and see my family maybe once a month on a saturday, provided i take the elderly lady with me when i go visit. Her other son and daughter refuses to look after their mother, even for a couple of hours. I often feel like i have no life and i cannot leave her on her own. She refuses to go to a care centre, as we also have no money for that. She receives a small state pension, and i am honestly to my wits end here. We are battling to keep head above water, as both her son and I are still rmployed, but get no help from the siblings. Her son asked me to find out what my remuneration package would be, in order for me to arrange a meetingwith her other two children, as i have been doing this now for almost three years now. I love the lady and dont want to dissapoint her and leave her to own devices as nobody else are willing to look after her. I buy food and prepare all meals, but not paying rent as i am taking care of her. Could you plase advise on what i could tell them with regards to my salary package? Thank you
Hm, no talk of a contract so I bet this was all "between friends"....and that can get sticky.
I worked Elder Care for a few years, for an agency, so they took the lion's share of whatever they were billing out. I made $8.50. After a year I got a 50 cent raise. Along the way, the family "tipped" me every month , as mom got harder and harder to care for. I still was making only about $12 an hour.
When we had paid private care for daddy, it was $20 an hour. Even that didn't seem like enough. It's that hard on the caregive.
Honestly, this isn't your family, you are being taken advantage of in a big way and you should probably get out.
The difference between "service" which can be wonderfully rewarding and "servitude" which can be demeaning and depressing--is only a heartbeat apart. Service uplifts us, servitude drowns us.
This situation isn't stable, too many things could change even if you were able to finally start receiving a salary. The family might think down the road since you worked for zero pay, why should they pay you now. They see you as needing a roof over your head.
Make it a lesson learned to first have a signed contract [how many hours per week you will work, and the hourly rate] before doing this again. I say, cut your losses and go back to your family.
Quoting one of my favorite contributors to knowledge network groups
Attorney at law Kevin P. Keane:
"agreements not reduced to writing, are NOT worth the paper they ain't written on."
Also always look at "Frail Elder Waivers" ....
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/personal-care-agreements-compensate-family-caregivers-181562.htm
See All Answers