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At your moms age of 90 I'm not sure it will really matter what time she last drinks for the day. Especially if she has dementia. There are medications that might help with her bladder spasms, and her urologist can put Botox in her bladder to see if that helps calm it down some, but in all reality she can no longer control when she has to pee, and of course it's more important at her age that she drinks as much as possible as you certainly don't want her getting dehydrated, as that is much worse than peeing all the time. I would just make sure that she's wearing 24/7 incontinent underwear such as Depends with an extra pad in it for overnight, and keep waterproof pads underneath her not only in bed but when she's sitting in her chair as well. And you can try keeping a bedside commode right next to her bed if you don't want her getting up all night and walking to the bathroom.
My late husband who had vascular dementia, wouldn't drink past 7:00 p.m. and until he got his permanent catheter, he was getting up every hour on the hour to pee, which meant neither one of us were getting any sleep.
It's hard when you're running on empty and still having to take care of someone, so please make sure that you're taking good care of yourself.
Hi Bevbur,What is too frequent?It is not good to limit liquids and more may be needed in this heat unless your mom has CHF or some other medical problem that a doctor has advised to restrict liquids. Pullups with pads and protective bed pads are helpful. Also know that sitting all day with feet down will make fluid pool in the lower legs. This is hard on the heart and kidneys. If mom is sitting, her feet should be up. This will help her release the fluid during the day. When she stands she will need to go to the bathroom. If she is going more often than usual, check for a UTI. Her bladder may not be completely emptying. Have her sit on the pot and lean forward to help the bladder empty. Speak to her doctor about this. The right amount of water can be tricky but dehydration is awful. Ask the doctor or nurse to show you how to tell if mom is dehydrated or holding fluid.
We were told to help limit nighttime soaking to limit Moms fluid intake after 6 to only what she needs for taking her pills, have her use the bathroom every 2 hrs wether she feels the need or not and then to use a nighttime Depends with a pad inserted (they make them for incontinent disposable underwear and have slits for the excess urine to flow into the Depends when the pad fills. We also have the mattress well protected with waterproof barriers, disposable chucks and then the large reusable bed pads on top of the bottom sheet.
You can try a few hours before bed see if that helps. But as mom declines and all her food needs to be pureed she will be consuming more "fluids" You can also try getting mom up. Early on my Husband would go to bed about 7PM and I would get him up about 11PM to go to the bathroom. He would not have a problem getting back to sleep. As he declined and it became more difficult to get him up I would just change him in bed. (I would change him about 11 or so and he would wake up about 3 or 4 AM and I would change him again then I would go back to sleep. Took me a long time before I could sleep through the night.) If getting mom up or changing her in bed is not possible get the extra absorbent briefs, place a absorbent pad under her and that should contain any leaks. If she is not in a Hospital bed it might be a good idea as those mattresses are easy to clean and will not absorb fluids.
Usually, everybody makes at least 30 mL (1 oz) of urine every hour. Most people pee every 3-4 hours while awake. Most people can hold their urine at least 4 hours and usually 8 hours while asleep. Limiting drinks does not change those facts.
A better option may be finding ways to deal with the incontinence. Pad the bed with incontinence pads as well using overnight incontinence briefs. Try going to the bathroom before going to bed. Try a middle of the night bathroom break if you, or your loved one, will get up to use the toilet. Talk to your primary care provider about "incontinence." This person should check for UTIs and can prescribe medications to help the bladder hold urine for overnight.
Excellent points, Taarna. The best advice is as you say. Find ways to deal with the incontinence. It's never a good idea to withhold drinks from a person who is thirsty. Especially an elderly person because it puts them at higher risk for dehydration and UTI's.
I was getting up 4, sometimes 5, times per night. Nothing much helped, such as limiting liquid intake, earlier times for last intake, etc. But lately I have been getting through the nights with as little as three times getting up to urinate. I attribute the change to my putting pressure on the baldder each time I urinate. I simply tighten my stomach muscles asa much as I can while concentrating on bladder itself. The more time you are willing to expend on this routine, the better the rresults. Try it. It's free,. It's been working for me for the last year.
I agree with you, that routine works. I will allow myself to give you another resource for when you have decided to attend to the call of nature by taking too long: immediately when you decide to go pee, force your imagination in another direction. In my case, I focus on something I have to do, whether it's changing the water in the vases, or remembering a poem or recalling something someone told me... the subject doesn't matter as long as it interests you. You have to focus and not let your brain remind your bladder that it's full. With me it works very well, it's all a matter of practice. It's a brain power challenge and you must win.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
There are medications that might help with her bladder spasms, and her urologist can put Botox in her bladder to see if that helps calm it down some, but in all reality she can no longer control when she has to pee, and of course it's more important at her age that she drinks as much as possible as you certainly don't want her getting dehydrated, as that is much worse than peeing all the time.
I would just make sure that she's wearing 24/7 incontinent underwear such as Depends with an extra pad in it for overnight, and keep waterproof pads underneath her not only in bed but when she's sitting in her chair as well.
And you can try keeping a bedside commode right next to her bed if you don't want her getting up all night and walking to the bathroom.
My late husband who had vascular dementia, wouldn't drink past 7:00 p.m. and until he got his permanent catheter, he was getting up every hour on the hour to pee, which meant neither one of us were getting any sleep.
It's hard when you're running on empty and still having to take care of someone, so please make sure that you're taking good care of yourself.
But as mom declines and all her food needs to be pureed she will be consuming more "fluids"
You can also try getting mom up. Early on my Husband would go to bed about 7PM and I would get him up about 11PM to go to the bathroom. He would not have a problem getting back to sleep.
As he declined and it became more difficult to get him up I would just change him in bed. (I would change him about 11 or so and he would wake up about 3 or 4 AM and I would change him again then I would go back to sleep. Took me a long time before I could sleep through the night.)
If getting mom up or changing her in bed is not possible get the extra absorbent briefs, place a absorbent pad under her and that should contain any leaks. If she is not in a Hospital bed it might be a good idea as those mattresses are easy to clean and will not absorb fluids.
If you're cutting back on liquid in the evening, be sure to cut back on salt and sugar for dinner. Those two make your body thirsty.
A better option may be finding ways to deal with the incontinence. Pad the bed with incontinence pads as well using overnight incontinence briefs. Try going to the bathroom before going to bed. Try a middle of the night bathroom break if you, or your loved one, will get up to use the toilet. Talk to your primary care provider about "incontinence." This person should check for UTIs and can prescribe medications to help the bladder hold urine for overnight.
It's never a good idea to withhold drinks from a person who is thirsty. Especially an elderly person because it puts them at higher risk for dehydration and UTI's.
Try it. It's free,. It's been working for me for the last year.
I will allow myself to give you another resource for when you have decided to attend to the call of nature by taking too long: immediately when you decide to go pee, force your imagination in another direction. In my case, I focus on something I have to do, whether it's changing the water in the vases, or remembering a poem or recalling something someone told me... the subject doesn't matter as long as it interests you. You have to focus and not let your brain remind your bladder that it's full.
With me it works very well, it's all a matter of practice. It's a brain power challenge and you must win.
6-7pm.
However, you may want to have Dr check for UTI to rule that out.