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My husband is a "glass half empty" 81 yr old, I am a "glass half full" 83 yr old person. His conversations are always, and I mean always negative and irrelevant. It gets so annoying to me. No matter how hard I try to change the subject, he adds something bad. He's living at an assisted living facility now, so usually kindly live. I don't know what else to do to save myself. Any other suggestions?

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Do you mean "Crabby old man"?
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Has he always been like this? I think it's time to tell your husband that you're tired of his negativity. You visit with the intentions of having a pleasant conversation and enjoying some time with him, and you leave dispirited. Tell him how his attitude affects you. You don't come to visit to listen to his doom and gloom attitude about anything and everything. If he can't carry on a pleasant, reasonable conversation, there's no reason for you to visit. Despite stating this ultimatum, I know you will continue to visit, but it might cause him to think about how his attitude is affecting you.
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Are you living with him at the assisted living facility, or are you still in your home? That of course makes a difference, as if you're still in your home, then you have the option of just visiting him less, if his negative attitude bothers you so. And if you're both living together at the assisted living facility, then I guess you'll just have to walk away or go elsewhere in the facility to get a break.
You can't make someone be something they are not, but you can however change how you react to him, as you are the only person you have control over.
My husband was more of a negative person and I have always been a positive person. You know they say that opposites attract right? We made it work right up to the end. Yes there were times when I had to walk out of the room, as I couldn't take it any more, but I never allowed him to steal my joy.
My husband died last Sept. and I would give anything to listen to him complain one last time.
So to answer your question on what to do with a crabby old man, I would say just keep on loving him, walk away, or stay away when necessary, and do some fun things for yourself, to keep your spirits and your joy in tact. Wishing you joy for your journey.
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I'm not following you. Is he grabbing you or other people? It is assault either way, regardless of any sort if dementia, and could be the start of even more serious violence. Be careful.
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I think she means "crabby".

Has he been seen by a geriatric psychiatrist?
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