What to do with mom if she becomes wheelchair bound?
Dad with dementia died two weeks ago in a memory care home. My mom has been an alcoholic shut-in for most of the past decade and now, at only 77, has significant negative impacts. Right now she's in a senior mental health facility to get some counseling, etc. (she is not mentally stable). Over the past year she has transitioned from a cane to a walker. Last night at the facility she fell during the night, had to go to the ER and have staples in her head, and now they've got her in a wheelchair. I am afraid they are going to discharge her to me this week. She has no friends, no other family except me and I work full time+. Any thoughts on what we do now? She will NOT go to any kind of care-home willingly. She will expect to be brought back to her house and let the chips fall where they may. I am at total burn-out stage after a decade of managing the care of my parents - their 10-year decline has involved drinking, prescription drug abuse, dementia, falls, fights, etc. I am now at the point where I am concerned for my future, every aspect of my life is going down the drain.
You know she will throw a fit, so what!! It's time to get your life back. She has the LTC insurance. You have gone WAY above and beyond long enough!
You know what, one of her biggest push backs will be that she won't be able to get wasted daily. Again, SO WHAT. She made that problem for herself, not you.
I've seen your burn out for awhile now and I have been concerned and sad for you. Stay strong and use this opportunity to get her in AL. She should NOT be living alone and it's time. It's PAST time. You can do this. Talk to a social worker now.
Repeat, repeat, repeat.
Upstream, you are not responsible for her choices, she is now staring the consequences in the face. Please, for your family and yourself, let the professionals handle her. She is going to kick and scream and anything else that she thinks will make you bow to her demands, so be prepared for the nuclear explosion.
Get a social worker involved and get her placed in a facility that can help her. She will probably improve under professional care. My dad did. As far as the alcohol, her doctor needs to know so she is not left to go cold turkey.
When I was looking for facilities for my dad, all of them said that he could drink if his doctor said it was okay and he had to provide it himself. Several of them had nightly happy hour, after dinner to avoid drunkenness. So she probably won't have to go through withdrawals or completely give it up if she absolutely has to continue.
This is your best chance to get her the care she needs. Ask your husband to support you and remind you not to cave when she is nutting out and shredding you. Learn to hang up and try talking later. Learn to not talk to her every day.
You can do this!!!🤗🤗🤗👍👏👏