Follow
Share

I don't live close to any of my children. I need to manage my care at some point in time, but for now I can manage.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
I think you already know that you are close to this or the question would not have surfaced. I knew, given I was never a great driver, that my early 70s, after the loss of most of my site on one side, was the time. My brother also knew, in his early 80s, and he ignored it because he lived in Palm Springs, a difficult place to get around on public transit. And he was alone. No one to shop, go to post office, and etc. When he had a terrible accident he lay in the arms of a woman saying "I knew I shouldn't be driving; I knew I shouldn't be driving".

Luckily my brother didn't harm another person, but he was quite beat up.
I would say honestly that you should go to the DMV and ask for the written and driver exam to be assessed if you have questions.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

If you are asking this question, you must be concerned. Have you had any accidents?

Please don’t drive if you are anxious about having accidents.

In my area, Council on Aging provides rides to seniors. The shuttle bus service takes seniors to the grocery, pharmacy and doctor appointments. Look to see if this is available in your area.

Wishing you all the best.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

You can create a transitional period -- which is now -- and consider what your other options are and practice using them now (NOT public transportation or services like Uber or Lyft for anyone with memory or cognitive impairment unless accompanied by a trusted person).

You may need to find a trusted neighbor or church member and create a driving arrangement with them (regular times and days of the week to pre-determined places) and you will compensate them for doing it. You can consider hiring a companion aid from an agency.

When I had to anonymously report my very elderly Aunt for dangerous driving (after which she was forced to stop driving) I enlisted the help of local relatives, neighbors and friends to take her places. I gave the drivers a GC to her favorite restaurant, enough for both of them to eat well, so then the outing also became a social opportunity. My Aunt rarely complained about losing her privilege to drive. You can do something similar.

When an elder's driving privilege needs to end, it's usually due to bad judgment (dangerous), and bad memory (getting lost), and not always a compromised physical skill (like eyesight or range of motion). Therefore, if yours needs to end due to a cognitive issue, you need to have a trusted someone who is able to end it for you (and this mostly doesn't go well due to anger). That's why I'm recommending you do it now and have a buddy who goes on this journey with you.

Someone with cognitive impairment is usually not allowed to take even the county bus services for people with disabilities -- you'd need to have a companion. It may take time to figure out who this person(s) could be so the sooner you start on this search the better. I wish you much success in finding the right people!
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

My town has a volunteer service. The volunteers take people who can't drive to their appointments, shopping, and so on. They also have a van that picks people up for trips to Walmart, food store, and other places. It's necessary to sign up in advance; at this one, there's a three-month wait to sign up. But then you're in, and a call to their office schedules you. Look around and see if there's one near you.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

If you're asking the question you obviously know already that you shouldn't be driving.
Please don't risk your life or the lives of other innocent people by getting behind the wheel of your vehicle when you know you shouldn't be driving. I would like to think that the very last thing you'd want to do is kill someone because you were in denial about your driving abilities.
Shepherd Centers and Senior Services have volunteers that will drive you to appointments, or you can call an Uber or Lyft.
Or perhaps it's now time to move into an assisted living facility where you will receive the help you need from their staff and they can take you where you need to go.
I pray you will use great wisdom and discernment in this matter, so you will have no regrets.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

My mom slowly stopped driiving at night. Then she chose to drive during the 'off peak' hours. She was a very cautious driver and used to hit 'thing'a lot, like the fire hydrant right in front of her house...but she was never a danger.

Time slowed her down more and more.

The final straw was having a hip replacement, which helped with the pain she had, but rendered her unable to use her right leg with much strength.

When the boys approached her about stopping driving, she gave them little to no backlash.

We who lived near her told her we'd cover all her driving needs. Between my YB, his 4 daughters and my OS (very rarely) and a bunch of friends, honestly, I think she was relieved to stop.

If you've been having close calls--with red lights, left turns, parking correctly and simply feeling like you are in control--this is your call.

I use Uber and Lyft when I have a flight to catch. And when I get home, too. They have been a real game changer in many ways.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Make sure to get annual vision checkups. As long as your mind, vision and reflexes are good, you should be able to drive. How do you feel on highways and at night? Follow your own judgement whether you should try to avoid highway driving and night driving. Are you getting into accidents, or minor incidents like scrapes, etc.? Are you falling asleep at the wheel? These are indications that maybe you should think about giving up driving. Check with your local department of aging to see if there are services for seniors who can no longer drive. If not, look into Uber or other for-hire car services to take you places. It may end up being less expensive than owning a car (but is less spontaneous). Also look into delivery services. Good luck!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This is what Moms neurologist told me. I was to, every so often, go out with Mom, letting her drive me. So maybe get a friend to go with you and see what they think. Maybe the DMV will be willing to test you,

My DH and I found that we should not talk while either of us are driving. We're 74 and 76. His problem is his hearing. Trying to listen to me distracts him. Me? Guess I can't do 2 things at one time.
Like said, don't drive at night, twilight is a bad time. Don't drive during peak times. Just drive around town. When my Dad died, he owned a Lincoln continental. The car was too much for Mom so she got rid of it and got a compact.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

If you are feeling insecure while driving or are getting lost or are having close calls or small accidents, be sure your vision and hearing and reflexes and mobility are adequate to be safe while operating a car. You can sometimes find volunteers or hire rides for trips you don't feel safe making on your own, but there is no specific age at which someone needs to quit driving. It should be based on ability and safety.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Claymar01: Perhaps you posed this question as you're already concerned. Perchance you require an eye examination. Have you had a vehicular accident or a close call?
My mother, who was legally blind, sold her auto well before necessary. She, too, lived alone and her town supplied transportation vans.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter