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To assist a relative with transportation or care giving? That is if I wanted to take a half day vacation to handle doctor visits. I read that you should never discuss benefits until you have a job offer. So my current plan in job hunting is to not even mention I'm a part time care giver.

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Ask if vacation time or PTO can be taken in hourly increments and/or as half days. Do not elaborate beyond that.

Do not offer a "why." Ever. Not during the interview. Not while you are negotiating an offer. And not while you work at said job.

Your earned benefit is just that: your earned benefit. To use at your discretion -- even if you are locked into taking whole-day increments.

Most companies will give a spiel about flexibility or work/life balance. Smile and nod. 

The less your peers and supervisors know about your outside obligations, the better. Altho it is tempting to vent or justify or swap war stories" with someone who has a similar challenge, don't. Just don't.

The modern workplace is always looking for a scapegoat. If you find yourself in a work situation where you have to take odd increments of PTO for family issues, keep the why's and wherefores to yourself.

After you've been at a full time job a year or so, you'll be eligible for FMLA. Which is not the panacea some think it is. It only applies to certain relatives. You need a specific diagnosis + timeline to resolve. And the relative's doctor needs to complete extensive paperwork on your behalf. 

If you are salaried, FMLA must be scheduled as a continuous block of time. Can you accurately predict how long Mom or Dad's next crisis will take?

Hourly employees, however, are eligible for intermittent FMLA. Partial or full days on demand; not necessarily consecutive. More flexibility for you. Infinitely more hassle for the workplace.

In short, do what you have to do, but with minimal fanfare. It's hard not to "be that guy" when you ARE that guy. Very hard. Been there myself.

Cheers.
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It depends on what kind of job you are trying for, but generally in higher end jobs after the offer is made you will meet to discuss the details of your contract, so that is the time to bring up your desire for time off. Don't be surprised if you aren't given what you want though until you have proven your worth after a probationary period.
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Great answer, Blackhole. Also, management have to treat all employees the same. If they allow one employee to take half days off they need to be consistent across the board with all employees.

If your schedule needs don't meet theirs, they will replace you. Employers used to value their employees more, now they will simply fire you and find another applicant.

I don't know if I would discuss this at the interview, to tell you the truth. Maybe in a roundabout way, like, what the PTO policy is, like for instance must the employee find another employee to cover them when they take vacation (as my current job requires) or not. Or do a google search for HR sites and look for inquiries such as yours. 

This is a tough situation! I wish you the best. I see you are a part time CG; how much care does your person need? Assess the needs of the person you are caring for, set priorities and focus on those. For instance if it's transportation, you can start applying for county transportation, see if you have Uber in the area, look at hiring certified caregivers that will take the person to their appointments for you, neighbors or other family members . Also many PCP's have Saturday appointments available and many are opening their offices later in the day and see patients in the evening. I work with many PCP's;  one practice routinely opens the second Saturday of the month and has evening hours until 8pm once per week as well. You can look for a PCP with those flexible hours. 

Don't put your career on hold if at all possible. You need to live your life and pursue your career and have the right to do so. 
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Unless you are at the top of your field, engineering jobs are highly desired. The competition for those jobs is serious. If you have a part time job already (you indicate that you caregiving is a part time job) then you need to reveal that. If you were working as a part time waitress...your employer would not like that either. Engineers are paid salary...not hourly.

I know of more than one employee at the top (Principal Engineer) who were terminated because of the "excessive" time off to take elderly parents to doctor appointments, and various emergency needs at home.

Perhaps you should be looking for job sharing. It is becoming more common. Or, try to find more split shift work.

While everyone has simpathy for the caregiver...that runs out when your fellow workers are doing more work because you aren't there.

If you need a part time job...do not seek full time pay.
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i used to be a hiring manager - and someone asking about time off and how to use it was a red flag. Generally- companies expect you to be pretty much full time for at least six months to a year.

As a team player - i have been front line with co-workers who can't travel due to needing to take care of a parent. For several years - i traveled an extra four weeks per year. Mind you my husband then had extra duty at home and i had extra stress. Finally - i said no more, and my co-worker hates me now because i'm not willing to do her travel. It is hard to get coverage for her mom. Yes i get that but she has had five years of my traveling for her to figure it out.

I have had to cover for coworkers who had dying spouses. While understanding their needs for time off - i certainly supported the coworkers who said thank you, who did what they could at midnight when we were stumped, who asked where they could help with what little time they could offer vs those who disappeared completely.

i have had to leave work early due to child being sick. Due to my dad having a fall at the nursing home and going to ER. I try to log in at night so that i can take care of business. Someone has to take care of the customers. All of the work you are not doing - someone else has to do in addition to their work.

Probably not a popular view with the work-life balance myth that goes around, but based on my 20 years in an intensely competitive technical field.

Whatever you do - try to be the employee who understand that your time off (even if approved) means that those at work have to do the work.
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Perhaps the better question to ask during an interview than "time off" is asking an open-ended question like "What do you like about how this company supports your work-life balance?" If the person interviewing you for the job doesn't offer concrete examples about how s/he feels supported to take vacation, attend to their spouses and children, etc. then the company will not support you in your role as caregiver.

Also, few employers smile upon a new employee who starts in with needing time off to handle situations that pre-existed employment. You would be smart to make arrangements for your relative - transportation, etc. - rather than expect your new employer to accommodate you. Your employer is paying you to work and has a right to expect that you can be relief upon to be there just like everybody else.

You have gotten other good suggestions worth considering.
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When you are hired for a salaried position...the employer has every right to know in advance that you are not going to be available to work the hours needed when they are needed.

You would be setting yourself up for a negative experience, and a bad job report.

I worked years in the engineering field (computer). When the work needs to be done it cannot be put off. If you are paid a salary, you are expected to be there. If you have occasions where the coworker has to cover for you...you are going to be in trouble with work, and possibly loss of job.
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I honestly cannot believe some of these answers. Definitely do not mention that you might need time off to take your mom to the doctor. That can be worked out after you have a job. Unless you have an incredibly heartless boss or start abusing it, there should not be any issue with having to take a few hours off to take your mom to the doctor, etc. Many jobs will allow you to do this and just make up the time.

I would get their paid time off policy no matter what. I don't think this is a red flag, but a determining factor in deciding which company to go with, along with their benefits package. I have worked in jobs that gave you paid time off up front and jobs where you earned a certain number of hours/days per week or month. If it is not a job that gives you paid time off up front, this is a negotiation point. Ask them if they can give you a week off up front with your offer. I have several friends who negotiated this successfully to add an additional week or two of paid time off in addition to their normal yearly allotment.

Good luck to you and your mom.
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I think it would be better if I don't need to tell a perspective employer about my personal situation because I made other arrangements. My mother may not like the cost but I need to get her used to someone else assisting her rather than her arguing she doesn't need help when she can't even drive. She hasn't argued this point so she understands. I'll make phone calls. Thanks for the answers.
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Employers are not as sympathtic anymore. One place I worked allowed only the time they gave you. I was allowed 8 sick/personal days. I took 2 in the year and it was in my review. If u went over the eight I don't know what would have happened. I would get the job first. You may have to find someone to take Mom to appointments. The company may allow you to work early or later to make up time.
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