My husband has early Alz, can still drive and is independent. His immediate memory is compromised right now. I know this will change. Once a week he works with children at a healthcare facility, teaching them art. What do I have to convey to the facility? Can I let it go until someone asks me? Right now, I believe no one would notice but I know this will change. Also, does the facility have a responsibility to allow him to work until he can't? I ask because children are involved. He is never alone with them. He assists another teacher.
I’ve seen several posts from people mentioning that their LO is still driving after a diagnosis of some sort of cognitive impairment. This might also be a good question for a lawyer?
I really feel for you having to make these big decisions. My family is going through it, too. It’s a whole lot of hard.
I was senior staff in an accredited zoo. We had lots of volunteers.
From the volunteer end of things, it is very helpful to know what is going on instead of wondering why a volunteer does something, behaves a certain way, etc., and/or why the sudden change(s) that might eventually surface.
From the paid employee end of things, it is helpful but legally, there are issues.
Bias can enter into things, over which the employee or volunteer has no control.
On more than occasion, I remember being told by other staff: You know he/she has (fill in the blank). No...I didn't. It explained some things sometimes, other times it didn't make a difference at all.
I didn't like being surprised, but the same token, I understand why someone who wants to volunteer or get a paid position isn't going to say they have dissociative personality disorder, or early Alz, or Asberger's, or anything I else I learned someone had.
Either now or when you see the next change in his behavior, you might want to speak with either the director of volunteer services, if he's a volunteer, or if not (and I cringe to say this), HR. I believe it's better they understand why something may be happening, and of course, then they alter work if need be as the need arises.
What are your thoughts about talking this over with your husband before you approach someone at the facility?
I sure wish him luck. The kids aren't going to notice any deficits at all. It is the adults we worry about, and have to worry about. I hope you will update us. This can only be your own decision. Talk it over with hubby and present a united front whatever your choice.
And kudos to your husband for helping others realize the benefits of art!
Seeing as we're talking about a children's healthcare facility with at least enough forward vision to appreciate the importance and value of art to the children's wellbeing, it seems reasonable to assume that they will also encourage him to participate for as long as he is able and willing, and provide low-key support.
Looking ahead, where does your husband's interest in art come from? - see if you can find additional activities and perhaps groups so that he can continue to engage even once he isn't able to work safely and comfortably with children.
The driving is another thing. To have a diagnosis of Dementia the signs have to be there and an MRI done. As said on this forum in the early stage MRIs don't always show Dementia. By the time they do, Dementia has pretty much progressed and noticeable. IMO, once a formal diagnosis is made, drivers license should be revoked and the Dr giving that diagnosis is mandated to inform DMV. My Uncle got lost, in a bordering state, trying to get home from a place he went to every week. A client was coming out of our driveway and pulled out in front of a car. Both had a Dementia and family thought they could drive. That client also ended up taking a wrong turn and ended up on a interstate. TG she pulled into a rest area and a nice couple saw she got home. The family still didn't think they should take her keys away.
Maybe talk to his neurologist and see what he/she says.
Have you ridden with your husband lately? That was an eye opener for me. It wasn’t that he seemed to be a danger, but he was laser focused on driving - no radio, no conversation, but he was driving so slowly, traffic backed up behind him. Clearly, he was losing those skills.
If he insists on driving (mine doesn’t now), our state offers a driving simulator to test driving skills & determine whether or not to renew licenses for elderly/cognitively impaired drivers, but this isn’t done automatically. I’m also told it’s about $300. If my husband insisted on driving, I’d insist he take the exam, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. There are other options available for transportation. There is just too much at risk and heaven forbid he injure someone or worse.
As to volunteering, whomever he works with has probably already noticed issues, but as long as he doesn’t behave inappropriately, art might be one thing he holds on to for some time. Yes, he should address his decline with them. It doesn’t need to be some in-depth discussion, but address it. When I mentioned it to my husband’s employees & others, they were already aware of it, but “didn’t want to bring it up”. They told me things he was doing that I had no idea about. Let him volunteer as long as he is able to, but find an alternative to him driving.
Personally I think keeping him involved and active for as long as possible will do him more good than anything.
Art therapy is also good for people with dementia so it is possible that by doing this he may be helping himself in the long run.
Let me ask you a few questions...
What made you or made him suspect something and go for testing?
The reason why I ask is very often others notice a change sooner than immediate family. It is possible that the other volunteers and the teacher he assists noticed subtle and maybe not so subtle changes for a while.
I have often said that it is like one of those pictures that you see from a distance and it looks like any other picture but when you look at it closely you see that it is made up of hundreds of other pictures. Dementia is like that it is not until we put all the little things together, all the mistakes, the forgetting a word, making a wrong turn, forgetting a name and when you put it all together you see that there has been "something wrong" for a while, sometimes years.
If your husband is comfortable talking about what is going on ask him how he wants to handle it.
I find that kids are VERY understanding, more so than some adults. When little kids used to ask why my Husband was making noises, or why he was sad (his noises sounded sad) I would ask them if they had any friends in school that had Autism. They would say yes. I would then ask if they made noises or had a blanket or toy they kept, or if they did other things that other kids did not do. They would all say yes. I then said my Husband did the same thing. The noises were a way for him to comfort himself, to calm himself down because sometimes when he was out with me he would get nervous.
They all got it. They were happy with the answer, they just wanted to make sure he was not sad.
You have to know your husband and how the dementia will effect him and his personality. That will change as he declines.
Side note...
Next appointment should be with Elder Care Attorney make sure you are protected and he is as well if something should happen to you.
And if he is a Veteran contact your local Veterans Assistance Commission and find out what benefits he may qualify for.
I worked at an spca for a decade. They loved old people for, well, potential donor dollars. The old people, the hard line autistic, Down’s syndrome were all allowed to volunteer until they became a problem with staff on behavior.