What is recourse if your information is shared and the people caring for your loved one have time prior to home visit to clean everything up? How is that helping us? My grandmother lives alone and is now bedridden. She has severe dementia and is barely able to sit up on her own. Let alone go to the bathroom. Her daughter's husband has full control over her care and POA that my Aunt arranged. He has kept neighbors away from her and is not getting hospice. When we showed up, there was remnants of feces on her blanket and floor and she was lying in a pile of pillows and blanket when it was over 90 degrees in the room. We played nice for the husband so we could visit the days we were there, but we had to tell my cousins that she doesn't have long to live and to contact the husband if they wish to visit. We relayed the condition grandma was living in.
They called APS, but someone tipped them off. So, we assume that they cleaned the place up and got my grandmother sitting in her recliner. They actually told the people how sorry they felt for putting them through this.
Now we have lost all contact with her and likely won’t even know when she passes.
Any thoughts?
The same is the case in my own state of California for Child Protective Services or CPS.
They will visit and will question the caregivers and one cared for separately. If they apologized before leaving I suspect they found nothing to suggest there is bad care here.
And normally they will report THAT to YOU. Did they???
I cannot negate any of what you say, but I can only say we have ONE side of the story here. Rather, in a hot room (the feces on a blanket spots likely a joke as some are fingerpainting with it) I would have said "It's so warm. Is the air conditioning out or has granny been cold? Can we help you with anything, because we are glad to buy a unit for her room. It has got so exPENsive, hasn't it? Or we can grab groceries once a week if you give us a list, deliver a couple of meals. How can we help". Try to get the foot in the door THAT way first.
You could be right. This could be a vicious couple trying to kill your loved one. I can't know. I am just so sorry. And now, as you say you may not be able to visit and assess.
I think that it is HIGHLY improbable that they said WHO REPORTED. But I would imagine they KNEW. Then tricked you by saying something like "Thanks for sending APS out; with all we do we needed THAT too". And you admitted?
Because no, they do not in the interests of keeping people ALIVE AND WELL usually say who sent them.
You have done what you can.
The person is being cared for by the persons she CHOSE.
I am glad you are visiting. I am sorry you won't be able to again, but I doubt it is the fault of APS.
Your post reads like you have a lot of information from someone besides APS who you say you didn’t call. How do you truly know all this happened?
The best thing reported to you was that GM room got cleaned.
I am glad you got to see her and if her room got cleaned as a result, that’s a good thing.
For what it’s worth, poop happens and 93 yr olds quite often love 90 degree rooms.