My husband has been home from the hospital for two months after having a stroke in Jan. Before his stroke we talked about traveling (USA), but since he's come home with a feeding tube I don't want to think about traveling with all his meds not to mention his cans of Jevity, which he has to have four times a day. When i go on vacation I want to relax, not take care of him. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining--well i guess i am--but when I took my marriage vows I meant them! ...In sickness and health. meant to me I do without what I want to help him get better, but I still would like to go to Emmetsburg, Iowa, see the Black Hills and just wander around In the Dakotas. Since I can't drive, and neither can he now. Will I ever get to Emmetsburg, Iowa or the Black Hills. Will the tube ever come out or does he have to have it in the rest of his life. He has aphasia and any water he drinks has to be thickened and given to him with a spoon. his meds. I mix in with chocolate pudding. I know I signed up for betteror for worse, but how much worse could it get?
love ya dusty . you stimulate the reptile brain in me and frankly, i need that.
ill take you to the black hills someday fairy but not while all those jerky, biker wannabes are there..
First, to find a support group Google support groups in the area in which you live, contact all the hospitals and ask them if they have support groups (one local hospital here has a stroke support group that meets monthly) and contact the national epilepsy association or other local epilepsy groups (you wrote in your other post that you have epilepsy).
I assume you're taking meds for epilepsy but that it's the issue of your husband's feeding tube that prevents travel complications, in your mind.
Second, there may be some options through local senior centers. Every one in this area plans bus trips for seniors, and some even plan overseas trips.
Third, I think it's a bit too early to be so conclusive on the issue of no travel, but I certainly understand that everything must be overwhelming right now.
You don't need to make any long term decisions yet; give yourself and your husband both time to acclimate to his new constraints.
Fourth, is he getting speech therapy? If not, ask your primary care physician or whoever treated him for the stroke and recovery for a script to start it, if that doctor believes it is physically possible.
Ask also if she/he has any recommendations on safe travel.
How are you communicating with your husband now?
Fifth, I wouldn't think traveling with a lot of meds would be the issue; just put them all in a bag with a separate backup bag, and take the pill containers with them.
Sixth, taking the cans would be an extra inconvenience, but you could compensate by taking less clothing or other stuff.
Seventh, do some research on how Veterans are coping and managing their disabilities. Some of them are coming home with far worse injuries than are imaginable, yet they're finding ways to deal with their situations, not easily, but they're trying.
Eighth, Pam makes a good point on medical coverage. Are you on Medicare or some type of private coverage insurance? Contact them and ask about out of town or out of state travel and find out their positions. Medicare will certainly cover out of state medical events if they're covered under Medicare in the first place. My parents got Medicare treatment here and in the South when they were Winter travelers.
But really, don't try to accomplish everything at once. You still need time to adjust to this new situation. And, how does your husband feel about all this? It's really a 50-50 decision.
Garden Artist has some great suggestions. Start looking and dreaming again - if you really want to travel, you can do it!
Blannie's right - I've collected literature at AAA Expos on companies that provide transporation for disabled folks.
fairygal, you don't say how old you are or what your husband's prognosis is. It is definitely a blow when you hit the "in sickness" part of the marriage deal. You are wise to acknowledge that loss, and give yourself permission to feel bad about lost opportunities. That is one good reason to go to a support group -- other people are dealing with those losses, too.
You may get to the Black Hills someday. If he improves and as you get more comfortable with caring for him you might possibly go with him, with someone else along to help out. It is also possible you'll need some respite time away from caregiving and you'll arrange a trip with a cousin or a good friend or sign up for a commercial bus tour. And you may do these things after your husband passes.
Your life is very definitely different than the two of you envisioned it. That is sad. Your life is not over. You will have many good experiences ahead, if you plan for them.
Good luck in locating a caregiving support group. They are terrific!