I do not even know where to start. Advice?
Cost of Living Calculator-NH for MIL. I used the one on the forum here. Hubbie and I are trying to figure out how we are going to put his mom in a nursing home when that time comes. We only put her info in. She only gets SS which is approx. 1100 a month. She owns nothing, no car, no home. She has no life ins, no stocks, nada. That's it.
We don't own now, selling ours to help our daughter. We are on one income, my husband's and we still help 3 of our 4 kids and one grandchild. I don't even want to think about hubbie's and my future years as we're no where prepared.
We have, with whatever her savings is (which she's depleting on her darn dog in vet bills), set up her funeral arrangements. That is done. We have not done a POA yet and not sure if we should. She does pay 300 a month for her room here because that is what it is costing us for that extra room. If she weren't with us, we could have rented for less elsewhere. But everything else such as food, water, electricity etc, she does not contribute to.
I do not even know where to start... she could do assisted living now, but is Alz diagnosed and will need more as her disease progresses.
RUkiddinme - stop helping the next generation, you have a lot on your plate now. AND, as an aside many memory care places (not all) do take medicaid after private pay for a length of time. Good luck
I would try to save as much of the MIL's social security for her future needs. She seems to be a candidate for Medicaid to cover her nursing home needs if she has no assets. However, that is a bleak way to end ones life. There are few good nursing homes who want Medicaid patients. They are more interested in self pay patients (who spend down their life's savings with the nursing home) and then they will perhaps have a Medicaid bed for the remainder of their life.
AL facilities are there to generate a profit, not really looking for Medicaid patient beds which do not turn a profit.
However, in the present, you need to see an elder lawyer for advice. Get a durable power of attorney to help MIL with your financial affairs, get an advanced directive to help get her the care she needs and wants. She should have Medicare and if she does she will at least get a decent level of medical care.
She should be eligible for some programs like Meals on Wheels and perhaps
elder transportation which could make it easier to care for her at home. Visit the office of aging, she should qualify for most of the programs in your area. They might have memory loss programs too which would help her.
Good luck these are difficult economic times.
Step 2 - As one poster mentioned $1100 a month is most likely to much money to qualify for Medicaid. You need to call and ask questions. If she can not afford a NH, you need to see what all of her options might be. They may have information that you need to help with decisions.
Step 3 - You did not mention if you have brothers or sisters. If you do have siblings, are they set up in a better position to take your MIL into there home. If not, since this is your husband's mother, he needs to understand how much work having mom in your home will be. How much work and time is he willing to give his mom.
Step 4 - You need to do research now, home care, is expensive, see what kind of free senior services are in your area. What products, medical devices, home care does her health insurance pay. If she has to live with you, then she should pay rent, and for some of her care. $1100 a month is quite a bit of money if she has no expenses.
Step 5 - Ask her or talk to her about her living arrangements. Does she have any sisters or brothers that she could stay with.
Step 6 - If you do decide to keep her in your help, get a support group set up, a back-up sitter, people you trust to visit your MIL, help with transportation to doctor's appointments, etc.
Hope this helps.
1.) POA
2.) Medicaid
Get that POA ASAP. This will make things much easier for you as you continue down this road. A lot of people suggest using an elder law attorney but I took a POA form off of legalzoom.com, had my dad sign it, a witness sign it, got it notarized and I never had a problem using it.
And you can investigate Medicaid if/when a nursing home is necessary but be warned: Medicaid takes forever to go through so start early. I think my dad was finally accepted after 6 months.....which was 2 months after he died. Here in Missouri, Medicaid for a nursing home is called 'vendor Medicaid'. My dad, who was in a nursing home, was admitted from the hospital. Once his insurance ran out he had to be on Medicaid in order to stay in the NH. But as long as I was in the process of getting him on Medicaid and could show the NH's social worker that it was in the works, he was allowed to stay in the NH and the Medicaid would take care of his stay there retroactively.
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