Who do I call when my mother, who I take care of at home, dies?

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Who do I call when my mother, who I take care of at home, dies?

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It could be days, it could be months, but she has very little muscles left from wasting. I feed her one little bite at a time, she has no pain, and through her dementia she loves me still. I need to know the right thing to do so when the time comes I can grieve and make the right decisions.

Alzheimer's & Dementia End of Life Family Caregiver

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I know someone who had an unexpected death in the home and on top of the shock and grief they had to deal with being investigated by the police, being enrolled in hospice eliminates all that.

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Why not have your mom's doctor write her an order for a hospice evaluation? That way, when she does pass, you can call hospice who will arrange to have her body taken away by the funeral home that you have pre-arranged? The hospice nurse also cleans, dresses & preps your mom's body for removal by the funeral home. During times of grief and loss, it can be difficult to make these types of calls and to even know WHAT to do! When hospice is involved, the nurses come by a few times a week to help mom bathe and to bring by the necessary supplies she may need, like a hospital bed, adult briefs/wipes/pads/swabs to keep her mouth moist, etc. Medicare pays for the service which also includes a chaplain and support for YOU. Plus, in case your mother starts feeling pain or discomfort during her transition, hospice can help her with comfort care medications as well. The nurse will examine mom & update you on how she feels your mom is doing/progressing along her transition journey, what to expect in her final days, etc. You really shouldn't be totally alone at such a stressful time.

If you don't want to involve hospice, then when your mom passes, call up the funeral home or cremation service that she's signed up for to come take her body. Hopefully those arrangements have already been made........if not, now is the time to make them, not after she passes when you'll already be stressed out and upset.

Wishing you the best of luck with a difficult situation

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Mimsy, you need to follow the rules your state which is California.

If your mom is under hospice when she dies, your first call is to the hospice nurse. Hospice will help you take it from there.

If your mom is not under hospice when she dies, your first call is to 911 to get the police and coroner to come out. They need to make sure there is no foul play when someone dies at home. Your second call is to mom's doctor, then the next call is to the funeral home to pick up the body.

If mom passes away at night, you can wait until morning to start calling.

I'm sorry for your impending loss.

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good advice....
I'd add that arranging for funeral services now - contacting the mortuary you wish to use, and prepaying for what you want to do - relieves you of making those decisions at the time. A hospice SW can help with this task.

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I would get Hospice in. Then its cut and dry. They will require a DNR (do not resuscitate) order. She will be kept comfortable and given morphine if in any pain. Which they can tell buy a B/P reading. You will provide them info on the Funeral Home u want. When Mom passes, you call the Nurse who should be available 24/7. She will pronounce time of death and do what needs to be done. She will then call the Funeral Director who will come for the person.

If you call 911, it will mean Police and a Coroner.

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Mimsy
It sounds like your aunt could be on hospice. If she isn’t, you might want to call a hospice and ask for an evaluation. You could also ask her doctor to send a hospice out. These days those in decline seem to qualify easier than in the past. It is a service paid by Medicare and provides a lot of support and comfort for the patient and the family. From what you posted it seems that you have things well in hand. Hospice does provide supplies in addition to help with baths and a nurses support.
If she does have hospice, then you would call the hospice and they would make the arrangements to have your moms body removed.
If it should happen before she is placed on hospice, you could call your local law enforcement and they will send the appropriate person to manage her transition.
States, counties, communities can have different protocols. I think I would call your funeral home or local law enforcement and ask for their guidance.

It sounds like you are doing a wonderful job caring for your mom.

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Have you considered the support of in home Hospice?

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Have her be evaluated by hospice and get her in their system. If she is not eligible now they can re-val when there is a significant change in condition or from time to time. Once they step in, they handle everything. I had cremation plans in place. When Grand pa died during the night, I discovered at 6am. The hospice RN came right away, took care of all the paperwork. The funeral home was picking up at 8am. I wrote them a check. Similar for Grand mom, except she passed during the day. Hospice called me several times for my support and came after she passed. This was my choice. Again hospice took care of the paperwork and the funeral home came promptly.

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Hospice is free (well, paid for by Medicare). Get her signed up for it. When you sign up, they'll ask what funeral home you want to use, and when she dies, you call the hospice people. They handle everything. There's no need to call 911.

If there's anyone who might like to say goodbye in private first, be sure to notify them as well. The hospice nurse happened to be in the building when my mom died, and she called me before she called the funeral home so I was able to get there first and sit with her for a bit. I gave the OK to call the funeral home when I was ready.

Be ready for them to take her once you call, because as soon as the paramedics or police arrive, it's all business with them. They'll be kind, but they won't wait around for you to be ready.

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You should check with your Mother's doctor. Who to call and procedures vary state to state and county to county in so far as who needs notification and what the procedure is. Your Mom will have to be pronounced by a medical entity. If she is currently DNR there is no reason to call 911, ambulance services and etc. The latter, without a POLST posted, is required, without DNR papers, to attempt resuscitation in some areas.
You need to know the procedure for YOUR AREA.
Do you yet have hospice help? You should avail yourself of that because their grief counselors, social workers, etc. can guide you to a good undertaker in your area easily and let you know/help you in notifications. They have information that is a great help for someone who understands they are now dealing with end of life issues. Please call your Mom's medical services today. Hospice care is 100% covered by medicare.

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This happened to me when my mother died at home with me. The first call was to her doctor, who knew her health issues, to obtain a death certificate. The next (with sisters' agreement) was to the funeral agency, to remove her body. That was all required in the short term.

Who do I call when my mother, who I take care of at home, dies?

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