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Who do you contact when you suspect the person you're caring for has Alzheimer's or Dementia? Me and my brother have been caring for his father for several years now (who's been living with us), yet now his mental health his started to deteriorate.


When left to his own devices, he's started talking to himself (which was always a 'thing' with him), but now he's arguing with people who aren't there and accusing me and my brother of things we didn't do. He asks us questions, but doesn't accept the answers and constantly complains about everything we do.


As of late he's almost always confused and stays up the entire night talking to these voices, to the point of arguing and screaming at them; which he first tried to explain away as coming from TV, neighbors next door, 'demons' or now blaming us for causing it. Talking does no good, because he not only does not trust us or believe us, he vehemently denies this behavior and desperately tries to blame it on something else, instead of actively seeking help.


His primary doctor has tried a battery of meds like Lexapro to help with the anxiety and now insomnia he's been having, with no luck. He's been doing home dialysis for almost a year now and we've been through a crisis of him having an infection, so the confusing is definitely not from that.


We've stuck with him through a lot, but I honestly don't think we can deal with something like Alzheimer's or dementia that not only needs specialized care, but someone around full-time, not when he has so many bills piling up and we've long since gone past part of neglecting our physical and mental health.

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You can contact your local Area Agency on Aging and ask for an assessment. It sounds like maybe he’s already been checked for a UTI? These infections can make dementia symptoms worse.
Testing with a neurologist might help nail down what is going on but getting him into alternative care can take time.
Should he have to be hospitalized for any reason, refuse to bring him home but know that depending on your state, placement may be difficult without spending a period of time on a waiting list. So best to look into things now. Let us know how things progress.
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decidedimdone Aug 2019
Thank you so much for the answer. I'll look into getting him a neurologist and talking to my brother about alternative care, if things don't work out with the neurologist. As of now, I'm chiefly concerned about him hurting himself or others when me and my brother are out running errands. I'm also looking into setting up a power of attorney to deal with his health decisions, now that it's gotten to this point, but I don't know about the costs to set that up in Eastern TN.
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OK. Short update - my brother was able to setup an appointment with a gereactic specialist for next month, for his dad and he saw his kidney doctor, sent in blood and urine work, before his father blurted some nonsense about his brother being murdered to anyone who would listen, including his kidney doctor.

His kidney doctor is fine with ending the home dialysis and the social worker at the clinic gave us some documents for a health directive/health agent/dpa. We just need to see legal aid and get things notarized. Unfortunately, my father isn't sleeping neither during the day nor at night and is literally confusing his dreams with reality; and accusing us of trying to harm him along with making open threats to kill people.
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