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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
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If you aren't a safe driver, the state decides whether you continue, mostly based upon reports made by other witnesses of the bad/dangerous driving.
My cousins should have stopped my Uncle from driving. He went through a red light one day and got t-boned which killed his wife and dog. His wife was a 2x ovarian cancer survivor and was also being treated at the Mayo for a heart condition (and beating it).
I worked to get my MIL's license retired because she forgot the brake vs. the gas pedal and nearly ran down children getting off a school bus.
Her husband (my stepFIL) had Parkinsons and kept driving even when his muscle motor skills were so compromised he'd usually fall in the parking lot he just drove to. I had his license retires (with the helpf of a social worker).
My 2 single Aunts in FL drove as a pilot and co-pilot. The driver had triple vision and the other never had a driver's license, so she was her eyes and talked her through what to do (I wish I was making this up). They were in their late 80s. Their car looked like it was in a pinball machine. I reported my Aunt anonymously to the DMV and got her license suspended.
My friend's Mom had a memory blip and got lost driving for 14 hours.
It doesn't even have to be anything that dramatic... maybe just taking out mailboxes or drifting over the white line. Why wait for a tragedy?
If your guardian thinks you are unsafe to drive, please trust them. A car is a weapon if the driver isn't 100% capable.
My father's doctor completed a form and sent it to the DMV based on his physical and mental condition. The DMV reviewed the report and then cancelled my father's license - meaning he does not have a valid drivers license. In Wisconsin there is an appeal process. Some DMV's offer a driving test for seniors. But my father continues to drive in his small town. He thinks because he still physically has his license it means he 'has' his license. I've tried to explain it to him. I've spoken with our local police. They said cannot cite him for driving without a valid license until he commits a violation. My next step is to take the keys away. He was a truck driver all his life. It will be devastating for him. It will mean more work for me to schedule rides for him, especially in his small town. But I cannot take the chance that he could hurt someone while driving.
My husband is not quite there. He's still safe to drive around our little neighborhood, but I'm the nervous wife. Like you, I don't want to risk him hurting someone. Over time he gets less cooperative, more resistant, almost combative ... verbally ... on the rare occasion.
Husband's doctor has already told me there is a form if that day comes. Hubs and I will both hate it if he completely loses his independence, but we both know that is where it is heading.
We only have 1 car. It won't be hard to keep him from keys. I can't imagine how hard that is with a parent, especially a truck driver. All these words are my way of saying I respect your outlook and feel for you.
I was fortunate that my husband with advanced Parkinson Disease was somewhat aware of his limitations. One day while I was at work, he lost his balance and fell in the kitchen and bloodied the right side of his face and shirt. Just a few minutes later he got in his SUV and went thru the drive thru of his favorite fast-food place to pick up lunch. When I got home, I was shocked to find him with blood on his face and shirt. This episode prompted an immediate appointment with his neurologist who told my husband that the actions he took and the actions he failed to take following the fall all demonstrated severe lack of judgment and that driving not only requires brain and muscle coordination, it also requires split second decision-making. Then the DOCTOR told him in my presence that he needed to stop driving as he could pose a risk not only to himself but to others. Without complaint, my husband never drove again. I was grateful that the doctor was unafraid to speak the truth to his patient.
My grandfather had been a commissioned officer in the military. He developed dementia and insisted he could still drive as family members tried to end his driving. My grandparents had only one car so getting rid of the car was not an option. My uncle enlisted a friend who was in the state highway patrol to tell my grandfather he couldn’t drive anymore. It worked. He respected the uniform and never drove again. I think it takes someone outside the family (doctor, friend they respect, etc) to effectively end the LOs driving. Unfortunately not all states require testing of elderly drivers so their licenses get renewed.
I’m my humble opinion, if there is even the slightest doubt, then the person should not drive. Dementia works in mysterious and unpredictable ways. Uber is a wonderful service. Get the app and give it a try.
And, there are cab services that offer coupons / free rides to elders in need. Call County Senior Services and ask for transportation options.
lUber / Lyft I hear is now costly although it surely is an option. Although the issue or key is how the person who shouldn't be driving reacts / responds and adjusts. The 'easier' part is finding other modes of transportation.
DMV makes the legal decision. Family and health care professionals can AND SHOULD report any unsafe driver. The driver will then have medical records reviewed and be required to take a driving evaluation. If they pass, they can continue to drive but they are now "on the radar" and may be required to take a re-evaluation every year or two. If they do not pass their license is immediately revoked. Family should take the keys and get rid of the car at that point, since many seniors do not understand that knowing how to drive and many years experience is not the same as having the reflexes to drive safely.
Usually the state makes the decision. If you think someone shouldn't be driving, you can report it to the state and ask them to check. An alternative is to ask the doctor to check and report it if appropriate.
Oh. Perhaps AgingCare management needs to know. Thank you for alerting us. Still, others may gleam some valuable information from our posts (hope so ! )
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
My cousins should have stopped my Uncle from driving. He went through a red light one day and got t-boned which killed his wife and dog. His wife was a 2x ovarian cancer survivor and was also being treated at the Mayo for a heart condition (and beating it).
I worked to get my MIL's license retired because she forgot the brake vs. the gas pedal and nearly ran down children getting off a school bus.
Her husband (my stepFIL) had Parkinsons and kept driving even when his muscle motor skills were so compromised he'd usually fall in the parking lot he just drove to. I had his license retires (with the helpf of a social worker).
My 2 single Aunts in FL drove as a pilot and co-pilot. The driver had triple vision and the other never had a driver's license, so she was her eyes and talked her through what to do (I wish I was making this up). They were in their late 80s. Their car looked like it was in a pinball machine. I reported my Aunt anonymously to the DMV and got her license suspended.
My friend's Mom had a memory blip and got lost driving for 14 hours.
It doesn't even have to be anything that dramatic... maybe just taking out mailboxes or drifting over the white line. Why wait for a tragedy?
If your guardian thinks you are unsafe to drive, please trust them. A car is a weapon if the driver isn't 100% capable.
Husband's doctor has already told me there is a form if that day comes. Hubs and I will both hate it if he completely loses his independence, but we both know that is where it is heading.
We only have 1 car. It won't be hard to keep him from keys. I can't imagine how hard that is with a parent, especially a truck driver. All these words are my way of saying I respect your outlook and feel for you.
Ultimately, though, the resident state grants a drivers license and the resident state can revoke it as well.
These are just two that determine who can and cannot drive.
Call County Senior Services and ask for transportation options.
lUber / Lyft I hear is now costly although it surely is an option.
Although the issue or key is how the person who shouldn't be driving reacts / responds and adjusts. The 'easier' part is finding other modes of transportation.
Gena / Touch Matters