Why would hospice tell my sister to stop feeding my brother-in-law? He is fully alert and he eats just fine. He is on hospice and he is on bed care. But his mind is not gone. The woman from hospice told my sister in front of my brother-in-law to stop feeding him if she didn’t want him to mess in his pants. That is cruel and unusual punishment as far as I am concerned. It is murder. How can one person withhold food and water from someone who is alert?
If your sister is continually complaining about him messing himself, just maybe this was a sarcastic response to her complaints.
Obvioulsy you don't deny food and water but, being bedbound means messes that the caregiver has to clean up.
OP, hospice nurse should not have given you advice like that. Was this hospice a for profit like Vitas Healthcare? Their other and original segment was Roto-Rooter, which has made it a profession to rip both their employees and customers off. I would tell anyone on VITAS to transition their LOs immediately, as this company is almost evil.
If he wants to eat let him eat (that’s what hospice giving people quality of life means).
I don’t care what the hospice nurse was responding to (as far as why she made the comment and in front of the patient) giving and protecting the patients dignity and best quality of life is her job - I would immediately request she never come back and start looking for another hospice provider. I am so sorry either of them had to deal with such behavior. Keeping you and your family in my prayers.
And I certainly hope your sister isn't withholding food or water from her husband as that would be cruel and unusual punishment. When he is in fact "dying" he will no longer want food or drink, and it can actually cause great pain if either is forced on him.
Perhaps your sister needs to hire an aide to come and put her husband on a bedside commode, so he can poop in that instead of his pants.
I had to do that for my husband when he was completely bedridden the last 22 months of his life and under hospice care, and it sure made my life much easier. The aide would put him on it, hold him up when he was done, so I could wipe/clean him, and then she put him back in the bed. She may want to give that a try.
I agree, a Nurse should not be giving sarcastic remarks. I think I would call her supervisor and ask for a different nurse. Just may not a good fit.
Your sister, I am certain will not pay attention to this, and she should ask immediately for some clarification as to what she understood the "woman from hospice" to have said.
Someone who is alert, is swallowing well, and wishes to eat would never have food withheld in my long long experience as a nurse.
Often things get heard wrong, or repeated wrong, or get understood wrong by the third person. It is much like that game where one person whispers a statement to someone, and that person to the next, and by the time it makes the rounds the statement bears no resemblance to the first words uttered.
Simply ask your Sister to speak to those in hospice for clarification of what she understood this person to have said.
If it WAS in fact said it would be grounds for INSTANT dismissal.