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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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My mother is somewhere in the middle stages of dementia, and it has been the angry kind. I do have a fear of it happening to me. After learning 16 tons of valuable information, my husband and I totally overhauled our retirement plans. We are earmarking a ridiculous amount of savings so he and I will BOTH have enough money for assisted living, whether we ever need it or not. We weren't big spenders before, but now we are TIGHT, bro!! I have given my husband the "I can't take care of you like 4 aides so don't even try to stay home with dementia" speech. And the "Put me in assisted living while I'm still halfway making sense so it's not a big scream-fest" speech. NO UNCERTAIN TERMS.
I joined the Y. Thirty minutes of exercise a day - walking and lifting a little weight can help. Even if it doesn't keep dementia away, it helps me feel calmer and less worried.
I have given suicide a great deal of thought. Some people aren't able to set aside their religious beliefs and I respect that. I think it's sad and brave when a person ends their own life rather than suffer through years of incurable pain and fear. It seems that refusing food and water can work, although it is a long process, upsetting for family, and many professional caregivers aren't really able to get on board with it.
I am pretty sure I wouldn't be able to muster the huge courage it would take to end my own life. It looks good to me on paper, but I think I'd wuss out. That's okay. I'm planning for memory care.
I have started looking at my house as something I can live without. I refuse to develop an unhealthy attachment to it. It can burn down tomorrow, I have a totally Zen energy about it.
In my dementia world, I want a comfy bed, a recliner, a bookcase with lots of picture books, some Laurel and Hardy movies, some games, baby dolls and toys.
I even bought books for my husband and myself to fill in our final wishes.
I don't really know how many of us will end up with dementia. But I'm preparing to put myself in as calm and therapeutic a space as I can afford. It helps me not worry so much.
Remember that unless you designate medical POAs your loved ones might not have the freedom to follow the wishes you have so kindly laid out in your book. And for some silly reason standard end of life documents come with phrasing to the effect of "I would like to spend my last days at home". I made my attorney take that right out and replaced it with that I preferred to be cared for in a proper facility.
How do you know that you will get dementia? Is dementia a familial history in your family? Not everyone gets dementia, you know. I have seen many centenarians on my local news recently who have their mental faculties intact and they are as sharp as a tack. An example of not everyone will get dementia is on my father’s side of the family all of his six sisters had dementia and they died from the disease, but my father and his three brothers did not get dementia. In my father’s case, dementia only affected the women and spared the men. If dementia runs in your family then there’s a strong possibility that you will get the disease.
You can Google what you can do to prevent dementia and try to follow that regimen. Living a stress-free and healthy lifestyle will help prevent dementia. Speak to your PCP about your fear of getting dementia. If you think you will get dementia then now is the time to plan for your care. In the meantime, just live your life and stop stressing yourself over something like this that may not even happen to you.
Same. I think about my aunt. I never expected she would end up like she has with dementia. She was always feisty, fiercely independent and kept herself healthy with diet and exercise. If she could end up this way, so could I, but I would rather be dead, truthfully. Also, I wouldn't expect my nieces and nephews to take care of me. I say this now but when you're in a vulnerable state, wh knows? I live cheap and am saving every penny I earn.
Yup, think about it often, I really want to die before people don't like me anymore. Lol I told that to my boys, you would have to understand there personality and sence of humor to get it. But they said at the same time. To Late. It was actually funny, but ya gotta be there raising 4 boys was a treat. Lol. Anyways there all amazing and sometimes I think if I died now, I look at them and think , I Did This. And my heart is so full. I think what ever happens it's ok. I did 4 amazing things in my life.
But what I'm doing at 60 to keep my brain healthy is keeping myself healthy as I can and off prescription drugs. Due to walking my BP is amazing, my cholesterol is borderline line, working to keep the t there, and now I'm cutting back on sugar to keep my a1c good. All the issues that my parents have had, that may have lead to vascular dementia. I stay away from alcohol, don't smoke. And try to be the best me I can be. Anxiety is probably my worst issue . But I'm trying to work on that
That’s the thing. Making an honest effort to maintain your health. I know tragedy strikes the innocent and my heart goes out to those in need. It’s those that willfully neglect their health, then cling to loved ones in to takeup the slack and become a selfish burden. Dennis Miller said, ´I have compassion for the helpless, I don’t give a rat‘s a** for the clueless‘‘ So many times I had heart to heart, serious talks with DH to take better care of himself. To get up and MOVE. I really resent being here. Clearly today isn’t a good day.
Also NYS is talking about passing the MAID bill, medical assistant in dieing. I'm really hoping that passes. But if not I live on the boarder of Vermont, so I would move there if I had to. I just hope if that time comes I have all my brain cells left to be allowed to make the decision.
Vote me in with the others saying they would rather be dead than living with this disease. You will be drain to your family because everyone around a person with dementia has to pick up the slack and have the patience of a saint to endure the repeat conversations.
Then when it is done, you leave them with misery of a memory. I wish we had a "eject" button.
I just do not know if someone wanted to push that button though, how do you manage the gap between when you realize you have a problem and then become unable to do anything about it.
I think the answer is to plan ahead and communicate ahead with our families/ children , while our brains are clear. If I can learn something from my care and management of my dad with dementia, hopefully it will be to my son's benefit so that he does not have to go through similar with me and my wife. See this ongoing discussion also: https://www.agingcare.com/discussions/expectations-486599.htm?orderby=recent
Who Knows - what I do know is Most of My friends have Passed young mostly from cancer . 50 - 60 . Maybe that is a better way to go ? Alzheimers and Dementia seems to be on the rise . Some People swear by alternative remedies = Lions Mane Mushrooms , Yoga , meditation , exercise , a healthy diet such as a Mediterranean diet , eating organic , growing your own food, staying away from canned food and anything with hormones . We also Put chemicals on Our skin . No one really Knows the cause , at One Point heavy metals were to blame and Aluminum . Assisted suicide is becoming Popular . I think if you make it to 80 that is a good age and yet some people are Living to 90 - 102 . I Hope I Just drop dead of a heart attack . I dont want to be Lying around a Nursing Home waiting for someone to change My diaper or feed me .
Many people are living to very advanced age due to the medical offerings of our time, but it's not good living. 8 yrs ago, my then 83 yr old mother spent a month in the hospital, followed by a month in rehab due to internal bleeding caused by a newly identified autoimmune bleeding disorder. She had already been dealing with advanced kidney disease, heart failure, HBP, high cholesterol, severe arthritis & more. She went into extreme delirium (I witnessed her, a retired nurse, pulling out her IVs & then trying to bite the nurse that intervened - blood was all over the room) during this hospitalization following a procedure to place a kidney stent. After six weeks, she came out of the delirium, but in the meantime had developed a reoccuring infection, due to the kidney stent (which had to be removed). Her doctors (of which there are many) told my brothers & I that they thought it was unlikely she would make it through the year.
So, we went along with her demand to return to her condo, with part-time aides coming in. (She has long-term healthcare insurance & can easily pay for fulltime help but refuses.) We're now in year 9. She has had more hospitalizations & trips to rehab than I can count due to falls (including broken hip), infections, cardiac events, and last fall, a C-Diff infection after a procedure to drain an infected bursa. She can no longer stand. At all. We are on our 3rd home healthcare company. She is still making her own decisions & still insisting on remaining at home.
My younger brother, who helped as much as he could with her care long-distance & provided immeasurable moral support, died a few months ago at the age of 60 after bravely suffering 9 months with a cancer tsunami that came out of nowhere.
I think our 91 yr old mother is going to outlive us all. And now I'm Oldestchildof3.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I want to die like my grandma. She simply dropped dead from old age. She never suffered.
I actually think dying in our sleep is an ideal way to go! We should all be so fortunate, huh?
A guy that I worked with died playing golf. An unexpected storm blew through and lightning struck him.
At his funeral his son said that his father died doing something that he dearly loved. He was going to retire shortly before he died.
I think unexpected deaths are tough for a family to endure.
Look how far medicine has progressed. I don’t think I want to live to be 100 plus years old! People are living so much longer.
Aren’t 3D printers going to be printing out body parts in the future? Who knows what else will come into our future health care?
I have given my husband the "I can't take care of you like 4 aides so don't even try to stay home with dementia" speech. And the "Put me in assisted living while I'm still halfway making sense so it's not a big scream-fest" speech. NO UNCERTAIN TERMS.
I joined the Y.
Thirty minutes of exercise a day - walking and lifting a little weight can help. Even if it doesn't keep dementia away, it helps me feel calmer and less worried.
I have given suicide a great deal of thought. Some people aren't able to set aside their religious beliefs and I respect that. I think it's sad and brave when a person ends their own life rather than suffer through years of incurable pain and fear. It seems that refusing food and water can work, although it is a long process, upsetting for family, and many professional caregivers aren't really able to get on board with it.
I am pretty sure I wouldn't be able to muster the huge courage it would take to end my own life. It looks good to me on paper, but I think I'd wuss out. That's okay. I'm planning for memory care.
I have started looking at my house as something I can live without. I refuse to develop an unhealthy attachment to it. It can burn down tomorrow, I have a totally Zen energy about it.
In my dementia world, I want a comfy bed, a recliner, a bookcase with lots of picture books, some Laurel and Hardy movies, some games, baby dolls and toys.
I even bought books for my husband and myself to fill in our final wishes.
I don't really know how many of us will end up with dementia. But I'm preparing to put myself in as calm and therapeutic a space as I can afford. It helps me not worry so much.
You can Google what you can do to prevent dementia and try to follow that regimen. Living a stress-free and healthy lifestyle will help prevent dementia. Speak to your PCP about your fear of getting dementia. If you think you will get dementia then now is the time to plan for your care. In the meantime, just live your life and stop stressing yourself over something like this that may not even happen to you.
They live to over 100 on that side of the family. No one has/had dementia.
My father died at 84, did not have dementia either, although some of the other family members did.
I am soon to be 77 no dementia, let's hope it hold true for me!
Also, I wouldn't expect my nieces and nephews to take care of me. I say this now but when you're in a vulnerable state, wh knows? I live cheap and am saving every penny I earn.
But what I'm doing at 60 to keep my brain healthy is keeping myself healthy as I can and off prescription drugs. Due to walking my BP is amazing, my cholesterol is borderline line, working to keep the t there, and now I'm cutting back on sugar to keep my a1c good. All the issues that my parents have had, that may have lead to vascular dementia. I stay away from alcohol, don't smoke. And try to be the best me I can be. Anxiety is probably my worst issue . But I'm trying to work on that
So many times I had heart to heart, serious talks with DH to take better care of himself. To get up and MOVE. I really resent being here. Clearly today isn’t a good day.
Then when it is done, you leave them with misery of a memory. I wish we had a "eject" button.
I just do not know if someone wanted to push that button though, how do you manage the gap between when you realize you have a problem and then become unable to do anything about it.
https://www.agingcare.com/discussions/expectations-486599.htm?orderby=recent
But I think you finally found the question I DON'T have an answer to.
So, we went along with her demand to return to her condo, with part-time aides coming in. (She has long-term healthcare insurance & can easily pay for fulltime help but refuses.) We're now in year 9. She has had more hospitalizations & trips to rehab than I can count due to falls (including broken hip), infections, cardiac events, and last fall, a C-Diff infection after a procedure to drain an infected bursa. She can no longer stand. At all. We are on our 3rd home healthcare company. She is still making her own decisions & still insisting on remaining at home.
My younger brother, who helped as much as he could with her care long-distance & provided immeasurable moral support, died a few months ago at the age of 60 after bravely suffering 9 months with a cancer tsunami that came out of nowhere.
I think our 91 yr old mother is going to outlive us all. And now I'm Oldestchildof3.