My husband and I care for an 88 year old woman who has no immediate family. We have health and financial POA and have had for years. She is in an unsafe environment and needs help. She has severe health problems and recently has had severe short-term memory loss. She is also a hoarder and lives in an unsanitary home with many animals. We try our best to help keep her and her home clean but are fighting a losing battle. She is extremely independent and WILL NOT discuss assisted living because she refuses to leave all her animals. I go with her to doctor appointments as she cannot understand or remember what the doctor tells her and the doctor is extremely worried about her living alone. We try to tell her that if someone (postal worker etc) saw her living conditions and reported her to Social Services, she would likely lose her home and her animals and be forced to move. She tells us that if we force her to do something she doesn't want she will "cut us off" meaning her will. We have been named in her will and investment accounts as recipients when she dies. It has been this way since long before the dementia started. We spend many, many hours a week caring for her and will be left caring for the many animals when she does pass, which is why she wanted the money to go to us. A few months ago, a distant (elderly) cousin had her go to a new attorney and sign documents signing everything over to him......when we let them know how much care she needs and asked if they would provide that care, they cancelled the paperwork and left things the way they were. How can we help her further within the limits of the law? We do NOT feel she is mentally competent to make these decisions for herself. She has fallen for several monetary scams, losing several thousand dollars each time but yet still falls for every "you've won a new car and a million dollars" scam she gets in the mail. She cannot understand that these mailings are simply a way to cheat her. We aren't in it for the money....we want her to be in a safe and clean environment. Any money we would receive would go towards rehoming all the animals and likely having her home demolished. We need to know what we can do legally to get her help.
I would find out from a lawyer where your legal responsibility as POA lies. And then be guided by your conscience.
However, the animals do not choose to live that way and their health is endangered.
The least that can be done is to call ASPCA and remove most of the animals before they die of disease and miserable deaths.
And decide if you really want to be the recipients of her assets and continue to be involved in a very unhealthy situation. A hoarding environment isn't safe for visitors either.
You're not going to be able to change it; do you really want to be exposed to that environment?
Has she been diagnosed with dementia or is this more of a hoarding case? If she has dementia that prevents her from caring for herself, she may have to use her assets to pay for care, since she won't be able to live alone. It's good that she has you to be her advocate, but it's often a two edged sword.
Many people fall for the mail frauds you describe, or those frauds wouldn't keep operating. Try to help her avoid falling for more scams-- remind her what happened the last time, even though she won't remember.
She is entitled to live in the way she has chosen, even if it's not the choice most of us would make.
From what I've read, it does help to report each unwanted call though as it provides evidence for prosecution, and some of these telemarketers have actually been taken down.
Anyway, between you and the Fire Chief, you can both contact APS and you'll probably need to share as much information as absolutely possible about this particular lady. What I learned when I had to make a report in my own town is that they can't do anything without enough information to go on, so you'll need to gather everyone to know something to contribute to a report that can really get the ball moving to resolve these particular issues. Perhaps someone can get her in-home care like nurses and an aid, both of who can come in to help her. There are specific programs for the elderly that gives them free food. The one in my particular town is called the passport program. Every two weeks food is delivered to those recipients. I'm not sure if the in-home care is included in that passport program, but I know that the food definitely is. If it's later discovered that this lady needs more care than what she can get outside of a facility, she may have no other choice but to have someone take guardianship of her and force her into a facility. I already saw this happen to one person, and he was not even on our local passport program when this happened. In fact, he wasn't even getting in-home care like my elderly friend was. Both of those people eventually we're forced into nursing homes to get the care they needed. I know that this is very sad to remove the independence and mobility from our elders, but when they're clearly a danger to themselves and others, this is when it's time to intervene.
I'm sorry to be so blunt, but this is life and this is exactly what happens around here. Furthermore, this is most likely what also happens everywhere in the US when people can no longer care for themselves.
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