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today i asked what her last name was, she couldn't remember, a week ago she forgot how to operate the faucet and she's been incontinent for a while. the aid tells me now that about once every 3 weeks she forgets how to swallow for a bit. I have a first appointment with a geriatric doctor midweek and will bring all this up and more.

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You can wonder all you want about what stage of dementia your mom is in. but as the saying goes...if you've seen one person with dementia, you've only seen one person with dementia, as there are no 2 people alike in their dementia journey.
Yes, there may be some similarities, but that's as far as it goes.
Don't be so focused on what stage mom might be in. Instead just make sure that your mom is getting the best care possible and that she's being kept safe.
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I hope the meeting with the doctor goes well.
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