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As caregivers, we observe and hear all the time about our parents having worries. But what about the Caregiver's worries and fears that may or may not have come true?
For example, no one allowed inside the home, no in-home caregivers, handyman, or repairs allowed.
My own recent experience with needing help has showed me that my concerns were actually over-the-top!
The kitchen sink was so bad in my mind, that I was afraid to dig it out and really assess the problem. I imagined leaks, black mold growing, possible mice. The garbage disposal did leak, into a bucket, creating rusty water. My dH no longer able to make trustworthy repairs, and my worry preventing me from taking positive action.
The truth was more like it was really clean under there, no damage, clean wood, no pests whatsoever. We have a new sink, garbage disposal, and fawcett! It was free from the Senior Center Handiworker program. I swallowed my pride, filled out the fearsome paperwork, and here I am to remind other caregivers: Do not worry, do not fear!

Meeting these trustworthy people has changed my life!

What is worrying you today?

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Momshelp,
Reading your worries......
It is helpful to share them, I agree.
That is how I felt.
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great thread, I wasn't a worrier before caregiving. My attitude was always worry when something happens not before but now I worry. Im worried mom isn't socializing, exercising, or eating a balanced diet. I'm worried I'm not keeping good records of moms finances. I'm worried my siblings will sue me later for, well I don't even know for what except it will involve money. I'm worried moms dementia will
get worse. I'm worried I'm over worrying. I'm worried this situation will last longer than I can deal with it. Wow I never listed all my worries & im sure there's more. Anyway it's helpful just to share, thanks
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The future's not ours to see.....
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Que sera sera
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I'm not a slob but I am overwhelmed
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Both, CWillie, I think it's both! I am an overwhelmed slob, Lol, thanks, I think.
: o)
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Send, you are only a hoarder if you have an unreasonable emotional attachment to your stuff (otherwise you are just overwhelmed... or a slob LOL)
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So today, there are so many generalized worries.
One "organizer-type" person has not worked out, so I continued to move furniture by myself.
Still, I seem to be stuck at the point of actually going through the paper clutter.
However, it is good to know that I am officially NOT a hoarder, according to a few that I have consulted. So I was worried for nothing.

Today, I have decided to NOT worry if others are leaving the AC website, because I will survive, even while missing them.

And I worry about the caregivers who are in the trenches, on their loved ones last days, burnout looming, their hearts breaking, stretched to the limits, and there is nothing I can do to ease their burdens, except to say......eat chocolate.

Just writing this, I know my worries need to be let go.
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Send, no worries! And my cat is black. I think that's the only reason he's still alive up here in the woods.
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A political spat over on the whine thread brought out my political worries, this mouse fears sleeping near the elephant when it is in a bad mood :(
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I can really relate to this. cwillie, I carried a copy of the weekly menu in my purse.
I would check to see what was being served when I couldn't be at the nursing home and
call and ask if mom ate. She was only 85 pounds. Now her weight is normal, over 100,
I still fuss a little.
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Bring all your worries here, Gershun.
Maybe that will lighten your burden(s).

It is really difficult to take care of self-worries, when giving people will always care more about others, imo.

I sometimes worry that my head may explode if I don't get my worries out.
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Send, I just spotted this thread otherwise I would have posted sooner.

My worry is that I've gotten so good at pushing my worries to the back of my head to deal with later that soon there will be no more room back there and they will all come pouring out of the front of my head all at once and I won't be able to keep up with them.

But seriously, my Mom's welfare was always my biggest concern and now that she is gone I have to start worrying about me again and I don't really want to do that but it looks like I might have to cause my last Doctor's visit has raised some worry flags for me. I may have no choice anymore. I may have to deal with the extra little spare tire around my middle and my insomnia which are causing health problems. I've got other worries too but I'll start slow and work my way up to them.

Thx for starting this thread Send.
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Lizzywho,
Validation! It feels good when someone else has seen the same thing! I wasn't dreaming about seeing that s h o p l I f t e r.

Ms.Madge,
Should we put a time limit on the worries? How long can you worry at one time?

Holiday end,
Maybe, you could stay out of the left field?  Thanks for your contribution.  Procrastination does make worries worse.
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Getting worried about being forgetful. But then, I realize most things are better forgotten.
Then, I forget what exactly I was so worried about, and I am left with worry about nothing'

Then, there are those well-meaning persons, some of them singing: "Don't worry, be happy!" OR, "NO WORRIES!"

Hope you brilliant people are enjoying this "Worries Gone Wild" thread.
I have enjoyed your comments.
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P e p s e e ,
So sorry that I had misspoke about your worries for your Mom having a stroke.

As for my red squirrel, Lol. Thank goodness! Wrong color!

What color is your cat, I will keep an eye out.
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I’m not naturally a worrier. Right now it’s just my usual issues at the fore. How are the parents today? Is the daughter going to be able to enjoy her one day off this week? I hope so.

I’m feeling better which means soon I’ll visit with my parents. It’s summertime!!! I love this green season.

I’m more of a procrastinator than a worrier. It’s seldom as bad as we can imagine. My major blows come out of left field when I’m not looking!
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Send help, I think my cat is chasing your squirrel.....wait, let me get a closer look... Is he brown with a long fuzzy tail and chocolate on his face?
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I've been sitting here worrying for the past 2 hours

Nice to catch this post - thanks, Send
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Thank you so much Send.
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Send!

I saw the Peanut M&M Squirrel Bandit on the news! So funny.

Count me in as a worrier. I am getting better...I think.
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S m e s h q u e. and P e p s e e,
I sincerely hope your worries do not come true.
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Thank you Pepsee for the reminder. :)
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Where is my squirrel?
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All of you are so much better at those big worries than I. I am feeling Inadequate.
And, now, I have started to worry that if I did have a crystal ball, it would be cracked.

Was not worried at all when dH and I had to leave town to pick up our loved one at the E.R. Except, the squirrel was not fed, and while we were gone for two days, there was a squirrel who robbed a local 7/11 of M&M' s peanuts! This really happened! Saw it on the news. Hoping it was NOT Ratatouille acting bad.  But we are home now.  Not worried.
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Send, what a great post. A very wise man once told me...

Everything that happens in Life is just an *event*.
Anything beyond that, is what *we bring* to it.

I try to remember that, when I do worry.

My husband is awesome. The first thing he always says is..."What can you do, "right now" to change it?
He's also big on the thought...
"What's the worst that can happen?"
Followed by....
" Well, it is what it is."
LOL, I just love that man.

Smeshque, Don't fret, Celebrate! When the enemy tries to plant irrational thoughts in our minds, we are about to grow in our faith! We're jumping to a higher level! He knows this and does all he can to stop it.....Laugh and tell him,*Not today*! You know the verse" get behind me devil"..... HA!

Ok, I'm off the pulpit, and here's my fear....

What if Mom has a stroke that leaves her unable to do anything? She might be stuck in a body she can't make move. Can't eat, talk, smile etc...

I could probably handle her passing, but not that. I think it would kill me to look in those sad brown eyes, and know she's in there, helpless.

Yes DH, that's the worst that can happen.
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I’m the daughter and granddaughter of two world class worriers. Both my dad and his mother are/we’re worriers of epic proportions. Always been this way. My grandmother was one of finest people I’ve ever known, truly, can’t say enough good about her. But I remember my mom telling me one time that grandmas only big flaw was the incessant worrying. Very true, it robbed her of so much joy. And my dad, same thing. He often calls me to tell me of something he worried about while lying in bed trying to sleep. He worries over things that never materialize and makes up scenarios in his thoughts that “could” happen and then worries over them. I truly think it’s totally ingrained into his being. When we were children he was endlessly cautious with us, hesitant for us to try things where any risk of harm could be, too much worry. I’ve always called him Prophet of Doom, which he finds funny but doesn’t deny. For myself, I vowed a long time ago not to take this on. I’m not perfect about it and do worry some, but I don’t have the worry gene like my dad and grandmother, deliberately so. I’m too practical, worry doesn’t accomplish or change a thing, it just makes me more tired and wrinkled! I’ve shared on this site that I have a dad who’s so physically frail it’s a daily wonder if he will fall (again) and be injured, a brother who’s morbidly obese and a hoarder, and an adult son with an anoxic brain injury with his own set of challenges. My worry over any and all of these situations doesn’t fix, change, or help any of them, and that’s a mantra I try to keep in mind. Perfect at it, never, trying to be practical about, yes!
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I think that's the problem in caregiving, do we give them what they want (to sit on a chair wasting away) or what they need (at least the minimum of a healthy lifestyle). Keeping them mobile and in (reasonably) good health is important for their QOL in the long run, but not so much if they are leaving us shortly. If only we had a crystal ball.
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Texas- I understand also your worries. I have the same with my Mom. Especially about exercise and eating right. Should I even care what she does as long as she is doing what she wants, and is happy? I dunno.
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I am worried that I am making Mom do things that make me feel better and really don't do that much to improve her life. For example: I nag her to exercise since she has recently broken both a tibula and hip. She is not really into exercise but I push her to do it anyway (sometimes to no avail!) I want her to take a shower every other day. Necessary? Probably not. It is not like she works up a sweat doing exercises! I mean, seriously, how much more mobile is she going to be at age 88? No triathalons in her future, for sure. I want her to be able to walk to the bathroom when she needs to and be able to get up and walk around. Does she want that? I'm not sure. She said the other day that she would really like to just sit in her recliner and watch TV. I have given up my home, my significant other and my life to try to make hers better. I truly don't think I'm making that much difference. That worries me.
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