my 76 year old husband has been helping to support his son (bipolar alcoholic) from a first marriage for 8 years. We have been married for 13 years, together for 23 years. Son was working and doing okay and then went off the rails for several years. Son has now been sober for 3 years, is finishing a B.S. degree and hopefully will get a better job (now working part time for Lyft, but I really worry how likely that will be, difficult personality) and is 42. I now have Parkinson's and my future is uncertain. I retired by not returning to work after separate over couple years and difficult knee replacement surgeries one surgery per each knee, the second knee replacement was not good and I am impaired, but it is not so bad that the surgeons will re-do it. I am afraid / am pretty sure that my husband's payments to his son will impair my ability to get Medicaid....Son is difficult to get along with and so lives separately. I love my husband and he is a good companion and takes care of the house: we live in the house he owns. Housing costs would be difficult for me to live alone. I just wish the son was not a financial problem. I am afraid that the five year look back will affect me. Would divorce help?
Also if your husband is a Veteran and is no t connected with the VA health System get that in place ASAP it can help both of you in the future. Contact a Veterans Assistance Commission near you and look into it.
If you don't have POA in place, you should get that set up. Financially and Mefically. A DNR. Make sure what assets you have there are beneficiaries in place. Your Will is made up. Good you are getting your ducks in a row.
Do not proceed on assumptions; get facts.
Elder law attorneys are often geared to doing estate planning which tends to be all about lessening after death taxes and being able to transfer assets outside of probate. Your situation is not that. To me, you want a law firm that fully understands the Medicaid system in your State.
Also I’d suggest that you get in touch with whatever Parkinson’s support network that exists in your area. There will be someone who has had to go thru a transfer of assets situation and may have suggestions as to how they dealt with it &/or a law firm they used.