My Mom had a bad fall and needed surgery. She is going to be in a wheelchair for at least 4 months then crutches and walker. The home will not accommodate a wheelchair and the only full bathroom is up stairs. She was not steady on her feet before this awful fall.
This may work if your elder has dementia. If not, the conversation may be more about the reasons that they can't go home (too many steps, not enough help at home), but to my way of thinking, if an elder is convinced that they can manage when objective people ( their doctor, the OT who examines their home, we, the folks who know we'll get called when they fall) then they are either suffering from dementia, or are in deep, deep denial or both.
We are not obligated to give up our livelihoods, our retirement benefits, our health or our relationships "because that's what dad wants". Dad/mom/gramps can get their NEEDS met, not always their desires.
My MIL loved her rehab and did not want to come home even when she was well able too... and now FIL was in rehab and could not wait to come home. Both fall alot, wont listen to useing walker/cane.. avoid stairs... more falls.
Tree, if it is not doable.. don;t do it.. for your sanity and thier health. Let social workers and professions talk to her, and just say no!
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