He won't wear his hearing aids unless we go out to dinner or an event. He says he hears me just fine, but I end up repeating myself more than half the time. How would you handle this? I have thought about saying it once and refusing to repeat it. But many times it is information he needs to know. I get so frustrated that I raise my voice and then he gets mad. Help!
Then he started losing them. It drove my mom around the bend.
Not being able to to hear is strongly correlated with developing dementia. Would sharing this info with him (either you or his doctor sharing it) help to motivate him to wear them?
In my dad’s case, it turned out he already had dementia.
Good Luck!!
If possible, find out the reason they don't wear their hearing aids. Are they uncomfortable, do they make annoying noises in their ears, etc.? There are so many different types of hearing aids today, it might be worth exploring a different brand or style.
In the meantime, here are some strategies I use so I don't have to yell or keep repeating myself, which is super exhausting.
When speaking to someone with hearing impairment, make sure you already have their attention, and they are looking at you.
Speak slowly and enunciate clearly. Don't use a lot of extra words that can cause the message to get lost.
You could also look into using a voice amplifier. Amazon has them. You wear a wireless microphone and it broadcasts your voice on a small speaker box.
Fast forward to today, she's had hearing aids for about 3 years now. She still won't voluntarily put them in. When I walk over to visit her I go directly into her bathroom (even if she's talking to me) and get her hearing aids and put them in her ears before I start listening to what she has to say. She sometimes gets annoyed by this but it's also annoying to yell stuff and try to talk over her incredibly loud tv.
Stop responding to your husband verbally. Write all your responses on a white board so he sees how ridiculous he's being. Or, walk out of the room and refuse to engage. Make an appointment with the audiologist and pressure him to go. He, like my Mom, will probably be incredibly amazed at how bad his hearing is once he gets good quality hearing aids. My Mom got hers at Costco. Very good service. They're not cheap but they're worth every penny.
You could also try taking him to an audiologist, getting his hearing tested, and buying him the latest lightweight easy-to-wear model there is. It's costly but worth it. My husband bought his at Costco, and they're wonderful. They can be controlled from his cell phone and are easy to manage.
If nothing works, I'd isolate from him as much as I could and start collecting brochures on memory care facilities. It sounds brutal, but you're in a no-win situation if he won't cooperate, and non-cooperation in a marriage is a sure signal that he doesn't respect you or care about nurturing your relationship. So why keep trying? Marriage isn't a one-woman show. You're supposed to be loving partners, and he's not.
I hope he'll listen to reason, and I wish you luck.