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He won't wear his hearing aids unless we go out to dinner or an event. He says he hears me just fine, but I end up repeating myself more than half the time. How would you handle this? I have thought about saying it once and refusing to repeat it. But many times it is information he needs to know. I get so frustrated that I raise my voice and then he gets mad. Help!

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My dad was the same. He said they made his ears itch, and that sounds like turning pages of a book were way too loud.

Then he started losing them. It drove my mom around the bend.

Not being able to to hear is strongly correlated with developing dementia. Would sharing this info with him (either you or his doctor sharing it) help to motivate him to wear them?

In my dad’s case, it turned out he already had dementia.

Good Luck!!
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Reply to Suzy23
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You can let him know you are just as important as an outing and deserve the respect of being heard. Stand strong.
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Reply to JustAnon
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I am with Dogwood, why does he not want to wear them? If a mold is involved, is it fitted correctly? If not it can make the inner ear sore. The tubing bothers my husband if too short. If he has not been to am Audiologist in over a year, he needs to see one. These digitals need to be tweeked every do often.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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It's annoying when someone with hearing loss won't wear their hearing aids.

If possible, find out the reason they don't wear their hearing aids. Are they uncomfortable, do they make annoying noises in their ears, etc.? There are so many different types of hearing aids today, it might be worth exploring a different brand or style.

In the meantime, here are some strategies I use so I don't have to yell or keep repeating myself, which is super exhausting.

When speaking to someone with hearing impairment, make sure you already have their attention, and they are looking at you.

Speak slowly and enunciate clearly. Don't use a lot of extra words that can cause the message to get lost.

You could also look into using a voice amplifier. Amazon has them. You wear a wireless microphone and it broadcasts your voice on a small speaker box.
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Reply to Dogwood63
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Jagermeister Mar 28, 2026
He says he can hear me fine, but five years ago, both Costco and Miracle Ear said he had significant hearing loss. I sometimes think it could be a listening problem as well as a hearing problem. He is always thinking of something else or thinking he knows what I am going to say and doesn't hear what I said.
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I live next door to my almost 97-yr old Mom. A few years ago it became very apparent that her hearing was greatly diminished, and she was in denial of it -- telling me she heard me (no) or that I didn't tell her (no). I told her in no uncertain terms that as her daughter and care giver and PoA I was absolutely not going to yell my conversations with her or be accused of false things. So when she refused to go to the audiologist, I would simply walk out of her house the first time she said "Huh?" or "What?" to me.

Fast forward to today, she's had hearing aids for about 3 years now. She still won't voluntarily put them in. When I walk over to visit her I go directly into her bathroom (even if she's talking to me) and get her hearing aids and put them in her ears before I start listening to what she has to say. She sometimes gets annoyed by this but it's also annoying to yell stuff and try to talk over her incredibly loud tv.

Stop responding to your husband verbally. Write all your responses on a white board so he sees how ridiculous he's being. Or, walk out of the room and refuse to engage. Make an appointment with the audiologist and pressure him to go. He, like my Mom, will probably be incredibly amazed at how bad his hearing is once he gets good quality hearing aids. My Mom got hers at Costco. Very good service. They're not cheap but they're worth every penny.
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Reply to Geaton777
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My mother in law has had hearing loss for years, and has always refused to cooperate with wearing hearing aids. I’ve always declined to yell for her to hear. My father in law has long repeated and yelled to her. She now has significant dementia. There’s a well established correlation between long term hearing loss and dementia, but of course we’ll not know if this was what caused it. Make sure your husband knows of this link. Don’t raise your voice, that will only frustrate you both. Either say it once and get on with your day, letting him deal with the consequences or use a white board and marker to write him a note. This is his issue, don’t let it ruin your days. I wish you peace
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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Do not speak to him when he's refusing to wear his hearing aids. If he misses appointments because of his stubbornness, perhaps he'll realize that choices have consequences.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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Unfortunately, being hard of hearing increases loss of cognition and causes dementia. There's a lot of research on this. Look it up and present your findings to your husband. If that doesn't scare him into wearing his hearing aids, nothing will.

You could also try taking him to an audiologist, getting his hearing tested, and buying him the latest lightweight easy-to-wear model there is. It's costly but worth it. My husband bought his at Costco, and they're wonderful. They can be controlled from his cell phone and are easy to manage.

If nothing works, I'd isolate from him as much as I could and start collecting brochures on memory care facilities. It sounds brutal, but you're in a no-win situation if he won't cooperate, and non-cooperation in a marriage is a sure signal that he doesn't respect you or care about nurturing your relationship. So why keep trying? Marriage isn't a one-woman show. You're supposed to be loving partners, and he's not.

I hope he'll listen to reason, and I wish you luck.
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Reply to Fawnby
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Jagermeister Mar 28, 2026
He is willingly going to get replacement hearing aids, but only wears them when we go out or I nag him, but never when we are home together, day-to-day. I have told him all the consequences like dementia, etc. But the TV is on 18 and I have to yell to talk to him over that volume. I can hear every word on 12. I called the audiologist and asked them to impress upon him to wear them every day all day.
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