He won't wear his hearing aids unless we go out to dinner or an event. He says he hears me just fine, but I end up repeating myself more than half the time. How would you handle this? I have thought about saying it once and refusing to repeat it. But many times it is information he needs to know. I get so frustrated that I raise my voice and then he gets mad. Help!
Fast forward to today, she's had hearing aids for about 3 years now. She still won't voluntarily put them in. When I walk over to visit her I go directly into her bathroom (even if she's talking to me) and get her hearing aids and put them in her ears before I start listening to what she has to say. She sometimes gets annoyed by this but it's also annoying to yell stuff and try to talk over her incredibly loud tv.
Stop responding to your husband verbally. Write all your responses on a white board so he sees how ridiculous he's being. Or, walk out of the room and refuse to engage. Make an appointment with the audiologist and pressure him to go. He, like my Mom, will probably be incredibly amazed at how bad his hearing is once he gets good quality hearing aids. My Mom got hers at Costco. Very good service. They're not cheap but they're worth every penny.
You could also try taking him to an audiologist, getting his hearing tested, and buying him the latest lightweight easy-to-wear model there is. It's costly but worth it. My husband bought his at Costco, and they're wonderful. They can be controlled from his cell phone and are easy to manage.
If nothing works, I'd isolate from him as much as I could and start collecting brochures on memory care facilities. It sounds brutal, but you're in a no-win situation if he won't cooperate, and non-cooperation in a marriage is a sure signal that he doesn't respect you or care about nurturing your relationship. So why keep trying? Marriage isn't a one-woman show. You're supposed to be loving partners, and he's not.
I hope he'll listen to reason, and I wish you luck.
We ended up getting my dad a Bluetooth headset for watching tv. He loved it and my mom had peace and quiet. She could watch tv or read and not be blasted out of the room. (He also loved that he could walk out of the room to grab a snack and didn’t miss anything.).
It was much more comfortable for him than hearing aids all day. He got a break (so did mom).
Their agreement was that He would wear his hearing aids all morning then get a break and switch to headphones when his afternoon shows started. He was glad to not have to wear them all day and she wasn’t constantly yelling. Anything important would normally be discussed in the morning like upcoming appointments, shopping, schedules, etc
Even if he won’t compromise and wear his hearing aids - you’ll get a break!!!
We also use closed caption on the tv- this reinforcement of visually seeing the words on screen can stimulate the brain because if you’re reading along then you’re multitasking which helps if he is in early stage dementia.
get hearing aids checked; perhaps upgraded.
Find out why he won't wear. They can be extremely annoying for many reasons.
Do not lose your voice due to screaming.
Tell him he won't get important information from you if he doesn't wear. Put the burden on him.
Gena / Touch Matters
tell him it’s straining your voice
he’ll soon get sick of it lol
Good luck.
See All Answers