We were infomed about 2 weeks ago that she had lost 10 lbs in 2 months, her appetite was barely there and she was becoming weaker. They suggested hospice.
Her 2 sons ate Christmas dinner with her at a special facility event this Tuesday, she started hospice on Wednesday, and we were called out of church this morning that her heart rate was 30 and her breathing was labored. My son in Chicago happened to come into town yesterday, so he was there, as was my local son, and his son (my grandson). We looped in my other brother-in-law in Tucson with FaceTime.
When we got there her eyes were half open but not really tracking, her breathing was abnormal, and she wasn't really responsive but we felt she could hear us, as at one point a tear rolled from her eye while her sons were crying and talking to her. We feel she was waiting for all 3 sons to be "present" then she very gently and quietly passed. She wasn't on meds for pain. She didn't seem to be in pain, thankfully.
The staff was wonderful: they brought food for us, consoled us, told us stories about her, they came in and out saying their farewells to her since she'd been there for 7 years total, the Chaplain came in several times and waited with us for the Cremation Society to come get her. They sent only 1 small young woman so I helped move her onto the gurney.
She was a very nice MIL, a loving Mom and sweet woman who had never harmed a fly. She technically wasn't diagnosed with anything so not sure what took her. Just so so grateful she had as good an exit as it gets.
Last time I saw her was on Thanksgiving, eating and laughing together so it feels surreal to me that she's gone.
Jesus was her Lord and Savior, so although surprised and sad, we are celebrating her liberation from her worn-out, sick, earthly body and she now in the presence of her loving God.
"In the resurrection scheme of things, this has to happen: everything perishable taken off the shelves and replaced by the imperishable, this mortal replaced by the immortal. Then the saying will come true:
Death swallowed by triumphant Life! Who got the last word, oh, Death? Oh, Death, who’s afraid of you now?"
1 Corinthians 15:54-55 (The Message version)
I forgot to add in my main post that my Chicago son said when he was sitting in front of her (just him) she was at first looking at him, then seemed to be distracted by "someone" behind him and he said her eyes got wide. My hubs and I were the only ones there at that point, and not in the room. My son is not a particularly religious or spiritual adult so I found this incident interesting. Tucking it away to ponder it in my heart.
I feel grateful for the "preparation" my MIL has inadvertently provided for me, an only child (and she was one, also).
Again, thank you all for blessing me with your sincere and supportive comments.
Merry Christmas and may your New Year be filled with joy, peace and good health!
Sending you hugs, love and prayers for strength as you grieve this loss.
I’m happy your MIL’s journey home was peaceful and that her family was with her at the end. I’m sure she was thankful she had you in her life and I’m thankful you are in mine.
May God bless you for what you brought to her in this world and how you helped ease her into the next.
So sorry for your loss, Geaton.
She is at peace.
I will always wonder how her end was. I had seen her 2 days before and planned to go in the afternoon on the day she passed. You are blessed to have experienced what seems to be a peaceful end. I hope you find peace during times ahead.
See All Answers