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I'm having a hard time getting my mother to do simple hygeine tasks, mainly concerning using the bathroom so she doesn't have accidents. I don't want her to feel attacked, but when asked to go to the bathroom and change because she had an accident, she gets very upset which is understandable accidents happen, but trying to prevent those accidents seems to upset her more. Any tips and tricks to help guide her smoothly would be much appreciated.

Your mother obviously now has some form of dementia and can no longer do what you want her to do. Her brain is broken.
It sounds like you live with your mother, so I would now start taking her to the bathroom every 2 hours and make sure she's using the toilet and cleaning her hands afterwards. And if that is too much for her then you'll have to go in with her and make sure she's wiped cleaned and that she washes her hands.
And of course it's time to make sure she's wearing Depends(or the like) all day and night which will help with any "accidents" she may have.
Dementia sucks and the best thing you can now do is educate yourself more about this horrific disease.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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It will help you a lot to learn about what dementia is and what is does to our LOs. Now, you are the only person who is reasonable, flexible and adaptable.

Also, consider medication for your Mom for depression, anxiety, mood, etc. Yes to the Teepa Snow videos, they helped me a lot.
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Reply to Geaton777
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She needs more than gentle reminders and guidance. She has reached a point where she needs help! She doesn't remember, she may be incontinent and she may feel defensive when asked about it - Because not being able to control your bathroom habits, and needing help in the Bathroom are embarrassing and uncomfortable for most of us.

To help her with this transition: Buy disposable pull-ups for her to wear.
If she is reluctant, try replacing all her underwear in the drawer with the pull-ups.

Every 2 hours, tell her; " Come on, it's time to go use the restroom" and walk her there yourself. Stand by, on the other side of the door, if she wants privacy, but ready to help, and ask her if she wants some help. Leave the door cracked, so you can peak in and see how she is doing. The disposable pull up underwear tear apart easily on the side seam, for easy removal.
She may need help with wiping, with putting underwear on and off, and need a hand to help stand up off the toilet.
Leave some adult size pre-moistened washcloths nearby for thorough cleaning, along with a small waste container. If she is likely to flush them, do NOT let her. She will need supervision. Even so-called "flushable" wipes can cause an unwanted plumbing problem.

Just like you praise a dog for going outside, or a toddler who is potty-training, be sure to end on a positive note. Offer a treat or something pleasant she enjoys once she is settled back in her favorite chair after a successful bathroom visit.
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Reply to CaringWifeAZ
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Dementia kills reason. You can get insight into why Mom's resisting the bathroom and practical ways to work with her without growing your frustration on Teepa Snow's YouTube channel. There's alot on hygiene and incontinence.

Best wishes to you both.
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Reply to ravensdottir
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Does your mother live with you in your home, or do you live with her in her home, or do you live separately?
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Reply to MG8522
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This is a different approach, which you might want to try (gently). Tell M that the most usual reason why elders end up leaving home and going into care is because of incontinence. If she doesn’t want that to happen, she really needs your help so that she can avoid “accidents”. Tell her that she needs to co-operate when you say “time to go”, and you make it the same words and the same routine each time.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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