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I had burnout from caring for my mother long distance for 15 years and it really went beyond burnout. What is that called and what are the symptoms?

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Depends on what you consider burnout.

The key is to get help before you reach this point. If you 'had' burnout, what is your situation now?

Could be a mental breakdown (or "nervous breakdown") - a non-medical term describing a period of intense mental distress, anxiety, or stress that makes it impossible to function in daily life. It signifies that a person's coping abilities are overwhelmed by life circumstances, requiring rest and professional care. 

Key Characteristics and Symptoms

Inability to Function: Daily tasks like working, cleaning, or leaving bed feel impossible.

Overwhelming Stress: Feeling constantly, unbearably overwhelmed.

Emotional Highs/Lows: Rapid mood swings, extreme irritability, sudden crying, or feeling detached/numb.

Cognitive Issues: Extreme trouble focusing or making simple decisions.

Physical Symptoms: Significant sleep issues (insomnia), lack of appetite, or physical exhaustion.

Mental Health Crisis: Feelings of severe hopelessness, worthlessness, or suicide ideation. 

Causes and Context

It is not a formal medical diagnosis but rather a sign of underlying, untreated stress, anxiety, or depression.

Common triggers include massive life changes (divorce, moving), extreme burnout at work, traumatic events, or severe, long-term stress. 

When to Seek Help

A mental breakdown indicates a crisis that requires professional intervention.

Seek help if you feel you cannot cope, have suicidal thoughts, or cannot function in daily life. Treatment often involves therapy, such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), or medication. 

Gena / Touch Matters
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Reply to TouchMatters
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Death, and it does occur. Statistics show 30-40% of all caregivers die before the one they are caring for. Do get some therapy/counseling asap.
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Yesterdayanurse May 11, 2026
I’ve read in Emma Willis’s book that the percents as high as 65%. And the older the caregiver is, the higher it goes. Staggering stats.
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14 years taking care of my mother short-distance, since I'm living with her. All day long (minus 6 hours of sleep per night). Burnout? Of course. 14 years battling Alzheimer's without feeling burnout is utopic.
What is the highest level of burnout?
It depends on the caregiver, but I would say death. When the caregiver dies due to burnout, that's the maximum level. I have not reached it yet.
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Reply to Besiberri
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Puking, nausea, hair loss, weight loss, anxiety and depression, insomnia, certain noises set your teeth on edge, twenty questions and nothing makes sense. PTSD?
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Reply to Freyasmom24
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I also care for my mother long distance. I call her every morning and we talk for almost an hour. She lives at home, but has no one to care for her or assess her, but me. She can still manage at 97, doing housework, bathing and doing basic tasks. She is hard of hearing so I am her translator when her nurse practitioner visits for an hour, I arrange her yard workers, hearing aid specialists, chart notes for drs., social worker contacts, dental appts., home insurance, some bill paying, annuity transfers; basically I am her personal assistant. I have a 4 yr. old grandson I watch and try to meet friends, and manage. People have no idea how much time is involved in care giving long distance; many hours are involved, but I am happy to care for her since I can't be there with her and she took care of me.
I understand your dilemma and it's important to make time for yourself, just a few minutes every day, or a day off to do something you love, and prayer! : )
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Reply to Patience2
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Foamergirl May 10, 2026
Bless you for doing all you do!
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I feel for anyone emotionally spent. I am not cut out for this caregiving and am struggling to maintain my own sanity. I need more social interaction than most I think, and my husband, not being at all himself, has made me feel like I need emotional support of a male friend. I don't think it makes me a bad person, but my kids think it does. I am so tired of feeling constant self denial, and wish this all would be over with. Sorry I'm not really helpful, just venting.
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Foamergirl May 10, 2026
I feel the same. Thanks for sharing.
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Ask a mental health professional.

The highest level of caregiver burnout is death.

I don't know what you did long distance for 15 years that brought you to this level of suffering. You should or could have stopped before reaching that point.
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Freyasmom24 May 10, 2026
I've been diagnosed with a serious case of caregiver burnout and PTSD. I may never be able to return back to the work force
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Could it be depression? You might want to speak with a therapist.
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Reply to JustAnon
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I don't know about the highest level of burnout, but I think of it as compassion fatigue, when you have nothing left to give. You're physically and emotionally spent. Too many demands and stressors for too long. I think it's your brain/body saying Enough and you have to care for yourself now.
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Reply to Nan333
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Long distance burnout?
How often do you talk to her?
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ANNA717 May 10, 2026
she said an hour every morning.
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You could have PTSD or something else but no one here is properly qualified to tell you for certain, much less offer treatment. I hope you’ll seek professional guidance starting with your doctor and maybe a referral to someone else from there. I wish you healing and peace
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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You need to tell a doctor or therapist your symptoms because no one on this forum is able to diagnose you, especially when you don't divulge any symptoms.

I'm sorry you are beyond burned out, but please do yourself a favor and seek professional help.
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