I am in my late 20s and have been managing care for my mom who is 54 with brain cancer for 6 years.
After taking care of her while finishing school and working I moved to a different state and hired live-in caregivers as her physical and cognitive abilities worsened. I was about to move her into an adult family home 2 years ago when her siblings and mom intervened and believed she should stay at her house still. Now, we have plans to move her to the same state as her siblings at the end of this month.
She has a 9 year-old labradoodle and has had him for the last 8 years. Her caregivers, neighbors, and I primarily take care of the dog (when I visit every 1-2 months).
One of her brothers is offering to take her in and one is offering to take the dog. While I also love the dog and understand their bond, I can’t help but feel like we should rehome her dog now. I feel like he deserves better care from someone who can walk him more and take him on adventures. I’m getting stressed managing his care even in these last few weeks, but family members insist that they stay together. Should I be doing all I can to help them stay together or is it fair to put my foot down and stand up for the dog, too?
Our close friends' son (age 33) is currently in his childhood home as his parents carry out in-home hospice at the end stages of his glioblastoma (after 8 years of battling). His dog is there with him. There's so little for him now... the dog's companionship and comforting presence is very precious.
Kudos to you for being there for her and the sacrifices you continue to make. May you be blessed!
Good luck.
Step back, let go, and allow things to develop along a new line of thought. Methinks the situation won't last long once the brother taking care of mom gets a taste of what it's really like. Be prepared for the onslaught of new ideas, such as a facility where mom might be able to live. At that point, you just go along with what they propose and stay out of it. You've done enough. Be supportive of mom as best you can, but from a distance. You will no longer be in charge. You can get a life. Doesn't that seem like a great idea?? I wish you the best in making it happen.