What does someone do if someone dies at home?

We had one die here, in this house. I phoned their doctor and insisted on a 'call out'. The doctor arranged for the funeral house to come and collect.

There had to be a postmortem because doctor was not in attendance. And we had to make all funeral arrangements.

Make sure all is in place then you wont have to worry over too much.

take care

In the last 8 weeks we have had both a hospice death (my partner's father) and a sudden death (my mother). In the case of hospice we called the hospice nurse, who took care of contacting the doctor/coroner and funeral home. Hospice was not great about outlining expectations about the dying process so the family was taken by surprise. But they were good with the details on getting the death called and the body transferred. So for hospice, you always call them first.

In the case of my mother, even though I asked her doctor at every visit (3-4 a year since 2012), whether she was ready for hospice he would never certify her. I suppose I could have pursued this more strongly on my own but my mother was mobile and eating with gusto right to the end. Ultimately it may have been heart rather than dementia at 91 that took her. At any rate it was quite sudden. I called 911 and made it clear that we expected they would come out to call the death, not transport her to the hospital. She had a healthcare directive which I always interpreted to be a DNR in her particular case (I read through it several times). Particularly because in those few instances where we did go to a hospital emergency room the nurses never questioned it. However, the paramedics asked to see it and then told me it wasn't binding and out of date and that I needed a MOLST. So although I argued with them that it was against her wishes they did perform CPR until told to stop by Command (a tense few minutes). I was specifically told that they legally had to do so or they could lose their license. (We're in MA.) At 70 my mother made sure to take care of all the necessary paperwork and it never occurred to me that I would need to update it. I was just grateful she took care of it as it made my taking on the tasks of DPOA that much easier. Ultimately they called the death and were willing to conference call with the funeral home (I was at my home an hour away). The paramedics left the body for the funeral home to pick up and I talked to the detectives and then we were all set.

One thing that I will complain about is that my mother's doctor, at a center for geriatric patients, could have spent more time counseling the caretaker that arrives along with the patient. Once a patient is clearly non compos mentis they should be ensuring that the caregiver really has the support needed by asking questions about the patient's wishes, what they have in place, and finances. I realize this could be sticky but we may not always know what to ask. I certainly didn't know that the healthcare directive in place might not necessarily be enough. And by not asking about finances when I asked about a case manager they sent me to a for profit social worker that cost me personally a great deal of money (for very little) until I found that MA had other venues for people like my mother who had very little in the way of resources. Researching is important, and if it wasn't for this site, which helped me a great deal, I don't know where I would be. But I do think the geriatric offices that see these kinds of patients regularly could do more outreach as well. (I'll get off my soap box now.) ;)

Call 911
They will call the police, EMS and coroner.
If the ambulance transports you will be charged several thousand dollars.

You should definitely call 9-1-1. That is your first step.

Oregongirl, that is just nuts that one would need a license to carry ashes to another state. That is one more example of the funeral industry and government forcing people to get licenses for things that do not require licensing. The Institute for Justice in Virginia is constantly challenging these absurd laws. They usually win.

Both of my parents were here at home with me under hospice care when they passed. I personally believe that the folks who do hospice are angels. You just need to communicate with them what are your needs, and the needs of your loved one.

My family and children spent time with both my parents remains afterwards (saying goodbye and reminiscing), and it was a magical time. I truly believe that now my parents are together again, and happy, as they led life in Christ. It is the cycle of life, and not an aberration that we are witness to someone's passing. There is a real vulnerability to this period that shows us that even when someone is completely helpless, they have value and dignity.

That said, hospice will give you an emergency number when the time comes, and you call it. They walk you through everything, especially when you have communicated your wishes.

You yourself are kind to prepare and help someone through the process. It is heartbreaking, wonderful, trying, and breathtaking. I feel honored to have gone through it with my parents, grandmother, and a friend. Do not look at it as something to dread. It is part of life.

God bless you.

When my sister was in hospice care, the hospice counselor strongly suggested that I plan ahead and pay for arrangements with a funeral home. I talked to several locally, and found one who allowed pre-payment and who gave me exact prices for everything before I signed anything. This was extremely helpful, as when she passed, hospice contacted them and they provided all their services with no extra "surprise" charges. I learned later that many funeral homes don't allow pre-payment, since at the time of grief it apparently is relatively easy for them to charge whatever they want, and families will find a way to pay. This seems outrageous, but it's how the funeral industry can work sometimes.

So my suggestion to anyone expecting a death, look around and speak to several funeral homes. Find one that allows pre-payment, and pay for all services beforehand.
It was such a relief to have this dealt with for me, once my sister died. Looking for services while grieving would have been horrible.

My father died at home and was on hospice. I called the police, hospice and the funeral home.  Nothing can be done until the police have done their work. Then hospice changed his pajamas and got him ready for transport. The police called the funeral home who came and transported him to the funeral home. Thankfully, my parents pre-planned their funeral.

If your loved one has already gone free or does not want heroic measures taken, DO NOT CALL 9-1-1. The advice to check with your loved one's doctor is good. Bless you for thinking about this in advance.

great question

A POLST is different from a health care directive. People think a health care directive settles it. It doesn't. It's more of a request than anything else. If you really do want your wishes followed, you have to get a POLST. That's legally binding.

This may depend on our state. When my husband died, I had already called 911. They tried to use an AED, but after a few moments I brought his advance directive to the EMTs.. They stopped and called the police; in PA they cannot leave a deceased person alone with anyone; they stayed with me until the coroner arrived. Once they discontinued the AED, they left refusing to take his body. Unfortunately the wait was so long most of his organs were unusable. There has to be a better way!

My father asked us to die at home and didn't want to go to the hospital even when there was still time to save him. It's been very hard, but this was his will, and in a way I can fully understand him.

I'm in Europe, not the US, so I'm not sure it works in the same way, but I'll share what's been important for us.

The last 2 months, we had a nurse and a social worker staying with us in turns; without them, it would have been impossible. Your mind really races with a million doubts, they were there to remind us this was ok, and that we were doing what he wanted.
Today, I'm very grateful and happy we made this choice. For him.

On a practical level; when he died, I called the emergency and they sent me a coroner who wrote the death statement. In the morning, I went to the funeral house and they took care for literally everything for us; from the death certificate (to ask in many copies!), to the type of non-religious ceremony that he wanted. They called me and visited us for the next couple of days to help us during the whole process. My dad stayed with us for two days until we went to the cemetery.

The real nightmare is the estate settlement, afterwards. As a few people said, have as many written documents ready as you can. Be aware of banks, estate agents, financial consultants; they'll all be super friendly, until you realize you are surrounded by sharks.

It took me 6 months of non-stop work to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm now finally free to remember my dad, and to feel peaceful, knowing that we've been with him until his last moments in this world.

For the time being, prepare the best you can and don't be afraid; it is a very intense experience, and not for everybody, but there can be peace, and much love in it.

As Suprised mentioned, my FIL ( on Hospice in our home) had the lime green POLST form , provided and completed by his Primary Physician, taped to the wall of his bedroom, so when he did pass away, we called our Hospice Nurse to let her know that he had passed, and she arrived shortly afterwards to verify his death, and she made the call to his funeral home who came to pick up his body.

My FIL had previously purchased his funeral plot, so a fair amount of his burial arrangements were done in advance.

The POLST form also alerts any Medics to the facts of his Advanced Directives, if say there was a medical emergency, is: no CPR, no rescesitation or advanced life saving techniques, no feeding tubes, exceterra, as were his wishes, no confusion! I believe an Advanced directive is best in place, along with a POLST form ( which as I recall I signed as POA but we also had his Advanced Directive), the latter which (when signed by a Physician) Must be followed by Medics and Medical personnel.

To the best of my understanding, you Must call 911 if someone dies in the home (unless the person is on Hospice), to verify the death, and to confirm that nothing untoward or suspicious took place towards the deceased. Always turn over any Living Will, Advance Directives, and or POLS forms to them immediately. If Anything suspicious is determined, then the police or medics call the Medical Examiner.

When the deceased is of advanced age, and is known to have been in ill health, they almost never require an autopsy, however the Medical Examiner's office does do thorough contacts of the deceased's Drs information and medical history. It isn't as scary as it all seems, and preparation is Everything, so looking into this in advance is wise!

In my state, the health care directive did not stop anything, but take the directive to your doctor and get the DNR (orange in my state but I heard it is different in different states). Post it and paramedics will follow it.

My FIL died while living with us. I didn't quite know what to do. He went in his sleep and we found him in the morning. 911 sent out the paramedics and after some discussion, I talked then out of shocking is cold body....a bit traumatic for me and my then young children. They said if we had a doctor willing to sign the death certificate, we would need to transport for an autopsy. His doctor was happy to sign, he had congestive heart failure for a couple of years. The mortuary came and picked up his body.

Now my mom is on hospice. I asked them what can to do when she passes... They say call them and they will handle it all. I am much relieved to have that support this time.

Try asking your doctor or local paramedics or law enforcement or even the local funeral home about this, there must be some other way to skip past drama other than using Hospice. In my part of Canada it is called EDITH, for expected death in the home.

Thanks everyone. I guess I'll call the cops. I hate calling 911 if it's not a real emergency. I would if they are still alive but I'm pondering what to do if they are clearly dead.

Like I said, it's not pressing. No one is in hospice but when someone is over 100, it's something to think about.

Surprise, that's what you have to do if you really don't want them to try to resuscitate. A healthcare directive is not legally binding. It's basically a request, not a requirement. They don't have to honor it. It needs to be a legal order if you really want them to follow it. Many things people think that are the final say aren't. Healthcare directive, will, etc, etc.

Thank you thank you thank you!!!
My dad was on Hospice and the nurse had just arrived when he passed. As stated above, the nurse made sure he had been alive when she got there - and she did the rest.

My DH is at home and I was also wondering how this would work as there really is no need for a $600 ambulance to take him to the hospital after he has passed.

So thank you yet again for your question and the helpful answers above! Now I know that 911 will help me to call the proper people.

Every state or jurisdiction has their own procedures. Most have to have the coronor or a medical examiner certify the death.

In my case 911 helped me with CPR over the phone until EMS came. When they could not resusitate, they called the county coroner. In our area, the body cannot be removed until the coroner assesses the situation and releases the body. The also talked to who was at the home at the time and asked to see all (12!) the types of medications the person who died was taking. At that time, we were able to call the funeral home to come get the body. I also know that in some areas, the coroner transports the body if they think a autopsy is needed.

Grim details, I know, but it never hurts to ask questions and be prepared. Why not call a local funeral home and ask them how things typically work in your area?

I found that hospice would come to the house. They call mortuary. I made mistake of not mentioning my partner had bought a cremation package. So now hospice called cremation people who then call mortuary. Also if loved one is being buried out of state the mortuary may have to inbalme to transfer over state lines. So it can get expensive . Carrying ashes to another state can also mean you have to pay for a license to carry it. It's crazy

It's interesting all the different protocols each entity has...and I'm always in awe of how most if not everyone has wonderful things to say about hospice...I myself did not have a great experience with them...but anyhoo...when my Dad died at home we called the funeral home and they came and got him, few days later I picked up his ashes...for everyone who has gone through this I feel for you...watching your parent wither away and die is gut wrenching...

Is this person on Hospice?
If so all you need to do is call Hospice, they will send someone out, if there is no one there at the time of death. They will "pronounce" the death and make the necessary calls.
If you have made the arrangements with the funeral home they will also call the funeral home. And they will wait until the Funeral Home has come.
If the person is not on Hospice you will need to call 911.
If this person is not currently on Hospice call a local Hospice and get this person on service so you will have the help and support that you need.

Another form beginning to gather steam is a POLST - Physician's Orders for Life Sustaining Treatment. This can be taped over the bed in a pink envelope so EMT's won't try to a dying person. Some EMTs ignore DNRs and follow POLST only, depending. I'd go for both!

Do try to get hospice involved. It's so much more comfortable.

needtowashhair, if you know a love one will be passing within a month or so, try to get Hospice involved. Since Hospice isn't there at the house 24 hours a day, chances are you would need to contact your Hospice nurse that the love one had just passed.... then a nurse practitioner or doctor will come over to the house to set a time of passing. Then Hospice will call the funeral home for you.

I would make prior arrangements with the funeral home, as afterwards it can be too emotional to try to make decisions. One of the biggest and most time consuming decision is purchasing a burial plot, if the love one hadn't already made arrangements.

Please take the time if you haven't already to get advanced directives in order. My mother decided years ago that she didn't want to be resuscitated and had a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) order on file (her doctor had to sign it). She has it on her refrigerator. If your loved one has a terminal illness that's one way to do it should Hospice not be involved. I'm not an expert on these things but keeping records and legal documents up-to-date is important. My husband and I have started to talk about end-of-life wishes, but it's slow going due to his attention span. He has Alzheimer's and one day he'll be up to discussing things, but another day he won't be able to concentrate on it.
So, I urge everyone to take care of things before you have an emergency.

If you are caring for someone with a terminal illness there will be protocols to set in place which vary in different places - in the USA most often through Hospice. If someone has died unexpectedly and you call 911 then police and EMS will do what they are trained to do, which is try to revive the patient and probe for a suspicious cause of death, neither of which you want.

Call 911 and explain what has happened and they usually do the rest , we lost my father in law and brother in law in seperate illnesses 2 years ago, they both passed away at home and lived alone ,after calling 911 they will ask you some questions, they asked if we could do CPR on my brother in law, we had to explain why we would not,full rigor had set in and there was no amount of CPR bringing him back, the cops show up and they call the coroner who will set the time of passing ,at least thats the way they do it in our area